Not a Poet, I know it ~ Limerick Stew

Rated 'E' for Everyone....

Decided to write a Limerick

The words I chose were a little sick

I tried to stay clean

But got too obscene

I gave up and said...the heck with it!

Or perhaps a new Send-Jew-Rue

Or maybe a simple Hi-Coo

But aren't they the same?

Just two different names?

To whatever you say... screw you!

Have opted to go Free Verse

Stumbled and started to curse

Going to slow

Words didn't flow

Better off left to rehearse

Much nicer to call it a Prose

Like the sweet, sweet scent of a rose

But that crap was stinking

The heck was I thinking

I’d much rather pierce my nose

I throw out some words that might rhyme

But I never put in the time

Fill them with fluff

Never real stuff

True poets must find this a crime

Call it whatever you want

I have no talent to flaunt

But I typed up this poem

From a seat in my home

And added a stupid font

Sometimes I need a good slap

Instead you stand and you clap

But what can I say

You’ve brightened my day

Thank you for reading my crap

Author's Note

Poking fun at myself. Seriously, thank you though! I am hard on myself but you guys always make me feel good. :)

Reviews

[David Scott]

Ahhh... Come over and sit on my lap. That was my thought for the last stanza! ha.
Your in a silly mood with your poetry of late. I like it. :)

[Dye]

Ha ha ha ha! You are too cute. Silly is good from time to time. I wake up everyday never knowing what I will be in the mood for. I just write what pops in head. Maybe tomorrow I will be dark and twisty. LOL I doubt it. :)

[SarahLin]

I like your 'crap' you're a talented young lady with a good sense of humor to boot..I look forward to seeing something new from you every day...for someone who isn't a poet you do pretty damn good...

[Dye]

LOL....Thank you so much!!!

[Yellow Butterfly]

Lol.... absolutely brilliant Dye... :O)))

[Dye]

You are so kind!!! I am happy that you enjoyed it. Thank you so much.

[Yellow Butterfly]

Loved it Dye.... :O)))

[Jack...]

Crap never looked so good. You have presented us with a huge steaming pile of humor here my friend. Though you know as well as I, none of this is true except.............rated E for entertaining.

[Dye]

You always have such witty reviews, I love them.... they make me smile. :) Thank you for stopping by.

[beautiful dreamer]

hehe i love this! great anti poem lol

[Dye]

Thank you for taking a minute to read it Jen. I am happy to know that you loved it. :)

[Chris]

Chuckling here... hell, laughing now.

[Dye]

I am happy to have sent a chuckle your way my friend. Thank you for pausing for a minute to read my limerick's. :)

[larryb]

Very Fracking funny Dye...great job with this.

Clap Clap

[Dye]

Oh- applause! Thank you, thank you. And thank you again for using the word 'fracking' LOL

[Tom]

Ba jeysus there's nutin bates a good limerick ! And you gave us a feast here Dye, say it as you see it and don't beat around the bush ! I love your brash but always poetic style great lady poetess !!

[Dye]

I love that I read that in an accent. LOL Thank you so much my one and only Skipper! :)

[Tom]

I used a little poetic license and exaggerated my dialect Dye, I actually talk quite normal! lol

[Dye]

You are funny, most people with an accent think they speak "normal." LOL I have no doubt that you really do though. ;)

[Tom]

Well sort off ??

[ron]

I'm told that nose piercing looks good...I wouldn't pierce mine though...well at least not the nose. This was funny Dye

[Dye]

LOL, ya-- I'm not really a piercing type of gal-- more the tattoo type. :)

[ron]

I have two tattoos myself. No piercings though.

[Augustus]

Haha! If you are not a poet, this is not a review and I am not a reviewer! So clever, so witty and so charming. The rhymes weren't forced anywhere, each stanza was self-contained (as it should be in a limerick). My favourite one was
"Much nicer to call it a Prose
Like the sweet, sweet scent of a rose
But that crap was stinking
The heck was I thinking
I’d much rather pierce my nose"
There is such natural, easy humour in this that it really cheers the reader up! If I had to be cynical, I'd be whining about the uneven meter. But I am not a fan of pointless criticism. The overall feel of the poem far superseded any technical shortcomings. I thoroughly enjoyed this. High marks. And thanks for sharing!

[Dye]

Thank you so much for your review Augustus. Very funny start to it. LOL I appreciate your comment, I wasn't sure about the meter when I typed it up either, but decided the heck with it. I was hoping each limerick would stand on it's own but work together as a whole. Never hesitate to give me constructive criticism, I might not always take the advice but I love the honesty and want to know when something seems off. Happy to know the meter didn't fully take from it. :)

[Augustus]

The limericks did work well together. They were self contained as I said, but there was a common thread running through all of them. You did succeed there. :)
I like your attitude towards criticism. It'll help you immensely in all walks of life.
Cheers!

[Dye]

Thank you again, I completely agree. Cheers to you as well :)