Toxic Waters

Being too far in to get out.

The torment in the depth of your soul.
It runs deeper than the abyss.
I want nothing more than to release the demons caught in your net.
This dark place has become a pool of comfort for you.
You've got your hold on me, I can't see.
I know if we come up together, the air is what we need.
I try to lead you there. I try.
Instead you pull me under with you.
I fight to escape.
I'm fighting for air, fighting to breathe, fighting to live...to be free.
I'm in too deep.
You take my last breath.

Reviews

[MoriartyMesa]

Part of me feels the same when I am holding a great hand of cards while facing four lost souls with everything to loose. In some ways, this is a 'wise guy's' heart from moment to moment, nice job kid.

[Dye]

What's your game? Mine is hold'em. Thanks for checking out my work. I haven't been called kid since.....can't remember...it's been that long.

[Great Aunt Astri]

An evocative poem.
It is very true how people close to us seem to take away our breath.
I am almost inclined to say, put on an oxygen cylinder, go under and drag him up!

[Dye]

Thank you. Yes, some take our breath away in a good way and others suffocate us. I appreciate you taking a moment to read it :)

[Great Aunt Astri]

Perhaps you better go down under, drag him out and send him to the cleaners! The poem is good, I liked it, but I think it could be neatened up a little bit. That is just my opinion. Keep up the good work!

[Dye]

Thank you again.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

The struggle in this one... DS_ the voice comes out in the lines and the whole write is just clinging on hope... and the despair in the last lines... wraps the lines of this verse... you can sense the feelings within the words...

[Dye]

Thank you Glen. I am glad you could see the despair I was trying to convey :)

[Baby Ricochet]

Good dramatic poem. Great ending

[Dye]

Thanks for commenting. Glad you like the ending.