Tumbling

The woods, dark and familiar. The cold, ignored. Their minds and bodies are warm, and blurred around the edges. A million sighs are heard, the unfinished starts to a hundred unspoken desires.
                                  Hunger.
   
  The closeness of his presence, the near tangibility of the persistent dreams.
                                  Longing.
 
Not brave enough to act, but too terrified not to. Right there, almost....
"No fear, girl! ACT!"
"Reach out, touch, pull, taste."
"No! What if I'm wrong?"
"What if I stumble awkwardly?"
"What if I aim and miss?"
"What...ifffffffff...."
   The blood pounds faster, hotter, rushing, racing, raci----
 
   She shoves aside concern for unknowns, and pulls her dream to her.
                                  Connection.
Finally. Sparks, glowing, warmth. "Am I? Are we?"  Ahhhhhhh........
  
    Hands are hungry too, eagerly sampling this and that. Dare to push the dream farther, harder. The chilly air (what chilly air?!) hangs softly around. Silvery moonlight illuminates pale skin. Closer?
   Blurs and glimpses of each other, tangled and tumbled to the ground. Doesn't matter anymore who they are in daylight. There is only now. Music of dreams is translated to heartbeats, rhythmic breaths, and star-song
      Something falters, a misstep, a fumbled play. Reality comes reeling back to smack sobriety back into the blurry brains. Stand up, brush off, and with a shaky laugh head back towards civilization. One or two more stolen kisses before the moment has escaped.
  
Oh! There's the cold......

 

Reviews

[Through the Gateway]

I think this captures the idea of stolen moments of passion fairly well. It almost sounds like a "first time" moment.

My biggest issue with this are the first two sentences. It sounds like you're starting a news story. Then it smooths out, but imagine Walter Cronkite saying, "The woods, dark and familiar. The cold, ignored." Smooth these out and make them blend with the rest.

Still, I think the story was good. With some editing it can be fantastic.