My attempt to string my words together.

I don't know how to hold my arms when I'm around you,
at my side just won't do,
I don't know how to put my hands on you,
Does a soft touch make me callow,
a hard one make me shallow,
or do i just try to hard,
the truth is I'm scared every time I'm around you.

Reviews

[savesthedaynj]

hmm... very interesting use of arms here. I love when body parts hold more importance than everyday functions. I really like how you showed that touching too light is not showing emotional strength and too hard is rough and abrasive. It's as if your testosterone levels and manliness are based on how you touch her. Fabulous work.

My only complaints are that there were a couple spelling mistakes which can easily be fixed and also, the title sounds too meek for someone who knows what he wants so I'd suggest a stronger title related to the poem. Also, the last line kinda is known already. You show the fear of the speaker through his inability to touch her with the right strength. I think repeating the first line would work nice. But these are just suggestions and I like what you have so far.

Welcome to Writer's Cafe!

[Duranko]

I know this was two years ago but thanks for the reviews!
I plan on using this site a lot more in the coming days.

Again thanks a lot

[Writer CW Kirkland]

I liked the message in this poem, and you did a good job expressing the discomfort of the narrator. I think you have a lot of potential as you continue to write more. I recommend working on your form and flow, and check for grammar. For example, "or do I just try to hard" should be written "or do I just try too hard?" Thank you for sharing your writing on the Cafe, and I look forward to reading more.