Can't Go Back- Chapter 10- January 6th 7 AM

A Chapter by John Duprey

Kyle is absolutely destroyed from people hacking his Facebook account, and he can't take much more. Can he turn it around? Will people finally leave him alone? Or is nothing going to fix him?

As much as I didn’t want to, I forced myself go to school. I was really anxious, so to relief myself, I made a slight cut on my shoulder. Nothing more than a cat scratch, it felt like nothing. I feel like I need to stop cutting, but I don’t know how, I’m addicted. It’s all I ever think about. Unfortunately, it is like a drug, once you’re hooked, you can’t stop. As I get into the school building, I feel like everyone is staring at me. Maybe, I’m paranoid? I sit in the back of my first period class as usual, and to my surprise no one says anything to me. I hear Mr. Kinsworth come on over the speaker and announce today is wellness day. A day about mental health concerns. Finally, people who might actually understand me. Wait… I don’t want people to help me though and that is what they are going to do if they find out I have severe depression and a cutting problem. I don’t want to go to any of this.

I went to my teacher, Mr. Ernest, and I asked him if I could go to the bathroom before Wellness Day started. He told me that was okay and set me on my way. As I was walking towards the bathrooms, I noticed Jamie walking the opposite way. This was one of the rare times that I actually wanted to say hi to him.

“Hey bud, how’s it going?” I try to smile and give him a fist bump. His reaction was not what I was anticipating.

“Don’t talk to me, jerk!” He told me quietly but sternly,

“Why? What’s going on?” I asked him. I had no idea why I made him not want to talk to me. He turned around and gave me a look.

“Are you stupid?” He said. “Don’t act stupid and not know what is going on” He started to raise his voice.

“Apparently, I don’t since I’m asking you what is going on.”

“Your f*****g Facebook post on my wall!” He yelled. I had no idea what he was talking about.

“Jamie, I- I-.”

“Forget it! I don’t need someone like you in my life who wants to backstab me. Bye Kyle!”

I ran. Tears were coming down my face fast. I just lost my only friend, my best friend. I ran into one of the bathroom stalls. Pull open my phone and got on Facebook. Someone got onto my account again and posted on Jamie’s profile. “I see you haven’t been talking to me, oh well. I never needed you anyways. Have a nice life sucking dick!” It has to be Jake somehow getting onto my account and posting mean things about everyone and me. I’m just petrified of what the hacker will do next. As for me, I’m not sticking around to find out what is next or for this Wellness day s**t. The whole reason I was going to the bathroom was to sneak out of school, but by doing so, I lost my best friend. My school is a single floor high school, it is tiny. So, it is very easy to climb out a window and escape. I make sure that no one is looking or coming in. I open the window, it’s a good thing I kept my jacket on, like always. I take one step out the window, still clear. I get my other foot on the outside, and slowly, but quietly. But when the window is almost shut, I hear on creak from the inside, the bathroom is opening. I duck very quickly to not be noticed. I check to see if the coast is clear. I stand up slowly and book it. I ran as fast as I could to get out of there. I hope I’m not spotted. I don’t care if someone tries to run after me, they don’t know where I’m going.

After three long consecutive minutes of running, I notice there is no one following me, I’m alone, and I escaped. I walk the rest of the way to my house. I am just done with everything that has been going on. If I wasn’t so stupid and taken that job.

I rush home, and quickly shut the front door. I am breathing heavily and the room is spiny and I’m dizzy. I feel like I have been on merry-go-round ride 1,000 times. I scream, I grab my hair and just pull it. I can’t take this misery anymore, I can’t take this life anymore!

I rush up to my bedroom and search for my blade. It’s not there. I start panicking. Did my Mom find it and hide on me? Bathroom! I brought into my bathroom this morning because I made that cut on my shoulder. I run to the bathroom. There it is, still in the medicine cabinet. A sense of relief washes over me. I’m ready to end everything. I breathe for a few seconds, close my eyes, and get angry! I bring the silver sharp blade down onto my wrist, I cut deep. It felt the artery snapped. I’m bleeding. Blood is gushing down my arm, it’s painful, but it feels good. The pain starts the set in, I scream my lungs out. I start to feel tears rolling down my face. I can’t turn back now. I’ve done it. Blood is squirting and it is all over my clothes. I’ve lost a lot of blood. I start to lose sensation in my arm, and slowly I feel sleepy. I don’t want to fight back the sleepiness. It seems it’s finally happening, I’m dying.

I’ve been sitting here for fifteen minutes, just letting blood flow out. I have been waiting for this moment. My head droops down, I slowly drop in and out of consciousness. “I’m sorry Mom, I wish you could understand. I hope you learn the truth Jamie. Goodbye world.”

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