I. Introspection

This chapter is really just meant to be an introduction but still part of the story, mostly to set the rest of the story into a motion. I am new to this, feedback and encouragement helps a lot!

CHAPTER

I

 

  

 

   THE MORNING DEW WOKE FROM ITS COLD NIGHT’S REST AS THE SOFT YELLOW LIGHT GENTLY ROLLED ACROSS THE FRESH LANDSCAPE. The light was teeming with a sense of warm kindness, as if the new day had welcomed me with delicate care. In the distance, the hills glowed and the trees swayed to an easeful song. Majestic mountains subtly stood in a golden mist, waiting as the new day spread to reveal their true solid form. I felt at peace. My mind was free to wonder and stray from all the stress that I felt. The moist soil between each hedge of the deep vineyards were now shades of pink and the air above it began to create the impression of an energetic swirl full of lavender, light blue, and expressive pink hues all reflecting the harmonious colors of that peaceful morning.

   I involuntarily turned from the beautiful scene and walked with discontent back towards the city. I felt now like a child being torn away from a new toy. I wanted more than anything to simply stop and sit beneath the whispering trees. Their shadows were mixes of deep blues and rich greens creating miniature utopias for both thought and content.

   Despite my internal plea to stay, I had to return to reality. I was startled by how close the city seemed to be, the time taken away by the distraction of thought. A number of houses began to materialize as the ideal sunrise began to fade as I departed its presence. The rich green grass of the fields beneath my feet twisted into a rough dirt path of obscure orange. It seemed as though I had just woken from a deep dream and my mind was not yet able to comprehend the change in surroundings.

   The houses had now begun to resemble a dense forest of urbanization. My mind quickly and suddenly snapped back into perspective. The dreamy tree line became facades of brick and stone, they too having a tint of orange and even a rustic red. The dirt path had gradually transformed into a more efficient brick road with trimmings of concrete sidewalks. A man with a lavish top hat suddenly emerged from one of the apartments followed by a dainty young woman holding a parasol above herself, seemingly to hide from the gentle morning sun. A carriage had been waiting for them along the curb; they quickly jumped in and hastened away.

   I yearned to glance back towards the distant sunrise, but the dense city walls consumed the view. I finally gave in and let my mind focus on the city that was ahead of me. I began to take more notice of the people I had been passing and had unconsciously neglected. Some of them offered conversations full of color, shape, and complicated phrases that made the topics flow with alluring energy. It was conversations like those that reminded me of things that I enjoyed about the city.

   Despite all of my reluctance to return to the city, I didn't necessarily find it all that dreadful. It seems to create a paradox with my love of natural settings, such as the scene I had embraced earlier, but I always felt a deep passion for human achievement. The city had always been a shelter of ideas, progress, and the flourishing arts, a place full of logic, scholars, and an abundance of inquiry. Physics, Calculus, History, and Chemistry all were filling the air with intellectual excitement. It was here in these cities where we began to understand the world around us and embrace it. The intelligence that ran through the air sweetened the taste of life! Everything that once seemed so dull and simple became so bloomed with complexity, like a blank sheet of paper becoming a full grown symphony, now all serving a greater purpose and pleasing an enlightened sense of depth and meaning. Had I not been nurtured by such ideas and understanding, I would have never viewed the sunrise the way that I had. Instead of creating a paradox, as they do seem to do so at first, the contrasting ideas thrive off of one another. It is impossible to be truly awed by the beauty in nature and things that appear simple without giving some credit to the complex wonders that explain how it can even possibly exist!

   I now rounded the corner and placed myself onto the latest boulevard. My mind was still lost in the fanciful dance of ideals and of satisfying philosophy. The city was indeed capable of filling my mind with these sensational concepts that granted me understanding and appreciation. In many ways, I often flourished upon this higher language of the city, my mind consistently elevated into a sense of progress and achievement. For me, natural settings like that of the magnificent sunrise are the places where I can gently abate from these intense symphonies that surge deeply through my mind and body, places where my mind can be at ease and meander in thought separate from that absorbed from the city, free to debate and interpret independently.

   Put more simply, the city could become a teacher, a large school of intellectual exchange, and nature, or anything distant from the city, could be considered the place of practice towards understanding the learned concepts and then applying them towards one’s own life. That is my only way of rationalizing my appreciation for two seemingly distant worlds. Yet, I have indeed made quite apparent that I face some great resentment towards life in the city.

   Suddenly I felt an abrupt nudge to my side as someone briskly walked past me in the opposite direction. My concentration faltered. I turned my head in curiosity, my eyes searching for the offender, but alas to no avail. As quickly as the figure had come it had no sooner dissolved and blended itself into a dense cloud of congestion. I realized that I was actually a part of this immense cloud. Unaware of this before, I suddenly felt confined and cramped as if even my space to breathe and think had been restricted. It wasn't necessarily caused by the amount of people massed together, in fact, the boulevard spread wide and there was plenty of physical space for walking, disregarding a number of speedy carriages impatiently darting back and forth. No, it wasn't the people, not physically at least. It was the silence, the complete and utter silence, the absence of any hint of song or harmony. All that could be heard were the shuffling of feet, trotting hooves, and an intrusive cough here and there.