The Air Guitarister

Eatyour Beefingheartout FranklyZappa

Thisairguitarist hasyournumbereding

Sixanseven inmyveryown hothundrededing

Lessthanyourworth ansomuchymorexpensive

Thanpoorboyzin a rockingorchestralsonger

Noonebeats thisten steelfingeringwizardist

Intheimage of our charmless deceptionism

Ivestrutterdstuff wherestuff shouldntbestrutten

Thenseenmyself as othershaveneverseenme

Andbangedmyheaderer to the cosmicgodderer

Ivemimedasong where the wordsareallwrong

Andcameback foranencore anthensomemore

IvejammedwithJimi and hammeditupwithFreddie

DuckwalkedtoNewOrleansallthewayfromKansasCity

ZZdmytopinacuteflipflop rollingoverwithBeethoven

Beenallalongthewatchtower anamnotareligiouser

Letalonealonely Jehoveringkinda windowdresser

BlindFaithsmyfaith the soundofoneslowhandClapton

Thatsgodinbluejeans he cansharemymirroranytime

Megodanthemidnightrambler ohwhatatriolivesinme

Wevewornout seventeenmirrors anfivemoteldoors

Butamtheking ofreflectedglory  inmyglassypalace

Wonderlandsgotnothingonmeangracelandsillusory

TheKingmighthavehissoulfilledcamelotancastle

MirrorsaretheuniverseofNarcissuseslookingatme

Lingeringonabluespalefacelikemealoneinreverie

Myfenderstratstrappedonmybluejeanedselfery

Slaying eachimagined audience gunslingerstyle

Zimmerman’s cubistfendering madeanartistoutofme

Thatharmonicasawarning forthestartofworldwarthree

IvedressedlikeKiss donethetwist ansetmygreatballsonfire

Anblewagollywithmissmolly cozIworespexlikeBuddyHolly

Soldmysoully to Beelzeebubby for sexndrugznrocknrolly

Beendrunkasaskunkanaoneleggedpunkanpogoedmyselfsober

LivedinagarretwithaViciousSydBarretonthedarksideofaspoon

BinZiggyingwithIggy anfedthe AnimalstothezoowithLou

Ohwhataperfectday to rearrange the theoryofevolution

Iveevenbeenjumperingbroomsticks withbonnieweeBrenda

Andwithmyonehandcuffclapping IfeltliketheprisonerofZenda

ThenshookenupmypelvistoElvis andtrystedmytrussatMadonna

Theformertwassublime thelatterwas likeaVirginonthedicriculous

Iveruinedmyhealth blownmywealth andyingwasacareeroption

Thenbeennbornagain anbecomeaZen anIonlyeatvegetarians

Ivebeendecievedtobelieve an I believe Ibelievedtodecieve

IduettedatriowithapreciousPearl justJanismeanBobbieMcGhee

Thehigherthethrilll thegreatertheFall the musictenthrallsusall

IvebeenaWhoan’If aThatan’aThem anseveraltypesofabbreviation

ShakespearesSister BecketsBrother An ChaucersCousin

Haveallplayedtheirliterarypart Inmyveryown Divine Comedy

Ivebeen a Door a Chair and a Floor covered in Spiral Carpets

Beatles Bugz  SuperfurryThugz antheoccasional Arctic Monkey

Haveplayedtheirpart inmy fantasticalanverymagical menagerie

Ivehuggedtrees an’creatureswithfleas an’hostsofgoldendaffodills

Beensavingwhaleswithpsychedelictales ImaSamurai eco-warrior

Theplanetssafe whileIvegotfaith ButI’llneverabandonmymirror

I’mthefoolwholefthishill arebelwithoutapplause I’masilentcinema

ComeeachMondayMonday I’lldescendthestairfwayfrommyheaven

Andworklikeapoormansson playingthatfoolwhoselefthishill

To be standing alone in the corner at All Tomorrows Parties.