A Heart Colored Black

one of my earlier writings

A Heart Colored Black 

Slowly it wakes to a sky painted gray, and with a heart colored black. No longer holding on to what could have been, it walks alone realizing all it ever does is run in circles. Lost it searches, but it lost its light far too long ago. Blind it continues to wander, through memories to find dreams of past elation only to discover a hollow infinity. Haunted by the voices in its head it wishes it were deaf, with no avail. Voices of hate and sin distorting its every thought. A never-ending song ridding it of any trace of innocence it had left. Fear seeps into its veins as it sees fear turning it, controlling it, and pulling its strings as it hangs as helpless as the other puppets around it. Hope is present, but is fading, catatonic it cannot break from the chains that bind it. All awhile, it wishes it could just run and forget all it has done. Hate saturates its black heart, but as all its memories of hate, anger, and rage play. Sorrow consumes it, for so long hate dictated its black heart now after all this time it grows weary. A lack of self-control continues to play on every emotion as it trades itself between hate and sorrow.  Slowly it dies looking up to sky painted different shades of gray, and a heart colored black.