Lately you make me feel like i'm screaming in outer-space

A Poem by Dulcie

No one can hear you in outer space

sound vibrates on air waves and
there is no air in space
so whatever I mean scream all you want
no one is going to hear you

I woke up at 8am and spent three hours
arguing with my hands
like no no please don’t touch her
I know you feel like you need to
but it’s all in your head let her sleep she needs sleep

I drove to the store in my pajamas and
spent $23 on making you a breakfast you didn’t eat.
(Whatever it’s ok I spent $250/therapy session and
I didn’t really digest any of that either)

Lately you make me feel like I’m screaming in outer space.

I was 7 and my brother worked at a recording studio and
he locked me in a sound proof room
because I didn’t really believe
that no one could hear me but
I was screaming and crying and
I bruised my 7 year old hand punching the glass
I could see him laughing
That’s you and I right now that’s us these past few weeks
I’m locked in that room screaming and
I can see you laughing through the glass and
I’m bruising my 21 year old hands

“Hey maybe we should like stop this whole thing”
I said that to you once because I wanted to hear you say “no no stay you just scare me sometimes your eyes are so god damn blue and you sleep with your hood up and you kiss me even when im asleep you kiss me even when I don’t know it please stay”
But I think what you really said was something like
“okay I mean I shouldn’t have to beg you to stay”

I drove home from work today and
stared at my hands on the steering wheel for 13 minutes like
no no please don’t do this
I know you feel like you need to but
it’s all in your head go to sleep you need sleep.

lately you make me feel like i’m screaming in outer space