The Girl

The Girl

A Poem by DudeGoofyGuy
"

Free your mind

"
She's the girl who gets no bedtime kisses
The girl who can't believe in wishes.
The girl who worries herself to sleep
The girl who thinks far, far too deep.
That girl who's seen death, tears and such
She's the girl who's seen too much.

© 2009 DudeGoofyGuy


Author's Note

DudeGoofyGuy
The second last line is weak in my humble opinion. Notes for improvement?

My Review

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Featured Review

Lol! It's always the people that call their opinion humble whose opinions are anything but.
In any case, I thought the last line summed your poem up nicely. Unless you want to change seen to "been through" or "experienced", I think it's fine the way it is. For a guy called DudeGoofyGuy, this isn't goofy or about a dude or anything. I demand satisfaction!

I'm just kidding. Nice poem, though. It's touching and all that.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Lol! It's always the people that call their opinion humble whose opinions are anything but.
In any case, I thought the last line summed your poem up nicely. Unless you want to change seen to "been through" or "experienced", I think it's fine the way it is. For a guy called DudeGoofyGuy, this isn't goofy or about a dude or anything. I demand satisfaction!

I'm just kidding. Nice poem, though. It's touching and all that.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on September 18, 2009

Author

DudeGoofyGuy
DudeGoofyGuy

NY



About
I'm really, really critical in editing and pick out the tiniest grammatical errors. So I'm probably gonna get on your nerves eventually. I love writing, most days. That's all I can think of. Have a.. more..

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