A refined taste

A refined taste

A Poem by Semaj
"

Meh

"
Hold the smile
With a crowd of frowns.
Bare the weight
Of each sin carried.
Their moral is best
As your reflection dies.
Gain hope within a hollow shell.
You only need with what you give, limping as you hand each helping out. Becoming less, hoping a return. Rejecting with a finer taste, as the throat closes. Your taste will end you, only too deplinish amongst slobs, handing out the last piece.

© 2020 Semaj


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Featured Review

Hi Semaj - I'm sorry to hear that you hate your work. You should try to be a bit more loveing, critical but loving : ). This poem is like a bird that hasn't quite succeeded in getting out of its shell. It just needs some more time and sweat.
Whoes 'moral is best'? Why the long lines at the end? 'too deplinish' ??
As I said with more work it could fly?
Go well
>

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Semaj

5 Years Ago

I tend to write how I want too feel so as it goes it goes too longer amd longer. Yes its not somethi.. read more
Semaj

5 Years Ago

But agree it need refining.



Reviews

A philosophical piece here, possibly of the stoic variety. The speaker seems to believe in grinning and bearing it all, sucking it up in the face of hardship. Death is coming to all of us, so one must carry on in the most moral way possible. It comes across as a noble code, reminiscent of Marcus Aurelius, until near the end, where it is said that the finer taste will "deplinish amongst slobs," a seeming bitter note. Nevertheless, it is a fine philosophical effort, something we don't often see here.
PS: Do a spell check on deplinish and on the first word of line 3.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Semaj

5 Years Ago

I do try but as I was once told, "words arnt defined as you mean". Glad you got the most of it. Thr .. read more
Hi Semaj - I'm sorry to hear that you hate your work. You should try to be a bit more loveing, critical but loving : ). This poem is like a bird that hasn't quite succeeded in getting out of its shell. It just needs some more time and sweat.
Whoes 'moral is best'? Why the long lines at the end? 'too deplinish' ??
As I said with more work it could fly?
Go well
>

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Semaj

5 Years Ago

I tend to write how I want too feel so as it goes it goes too longer amd longer. Yes its not somethi.. read more
Semaj

5 Years Ago

But agree it need refining.

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82 Views
2 Reviews
Added on December 6, 2019
Last Updated on January 24, 2020
Tags: Depression, hatred, whatsnew

Author

Semaj
Semaj

About
I dabble in writing, doing it as a hobbies. Hate all my work and did this for more of a means of getting critic from readers and writters alike. more..

Writing
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