A Million Butterflies

Written in 8th grade. MAYBE 7th. But I think 8th. XD

Somewhere between

the casual gossip,

the lies and the fakes,

there was you.

And I still don’t know why,

but you just seemed

to shine through.

I don’t know how you do it,

but there’s a million butterflies

for each day I’ve known you.

And it all seemed so innocent;

I joined in and chatted

about your vibrant hair,

and your unique stare,

and how you always make me laugh.

My cheeks turn bright red

when I see you,

the whole world seems alight.

I’ll let the feeling stay

for one more night.

I’ll tell you tomorrow,

or the day after that.

Or how about Valentine’s,

how romantic is that?

It just isn’t right,

maybe the day after next?

Until I run out of days

and tears to shed.

Reviews

[Melissa Rose]

"I joined in and chatted
about your vibrant hair,
and you unique stare,"

Oh Breezie, I do love you:)

[Erin]

This sort of akward yet oh so true love shows its colors in your poem. We have all been enraptured like this with a small amount of pain keeping it fresh,

Bravo.

[Ryan D. Mosley]

I really enoyed reading this poem. I can't grasp what you're going to tell them, whether it's "I love you" or that the relationship s over since you mentioned tears. I really did enjoy the poem though. It was moving.

[Prudence Desideria]

So heart wrenchingly beautiful... The sunshine and butterflies versus the heart break and the not knowing... Oh, sad and well done. Such beautiful toying with the words, i love it. I'm not sure if I've read it right or if it's even a real story (feels true though). Tell the person... I know, that's such an easy thing to say and such a hard thing to do and the consequences, well let's not go there.

The opening lines are really well constructed, plus you follow them up so well so no void or half-way thing is left. The ending wraps it all up so bittersweetly. Nicely done.

[Ronnie Killingsworth]

Those first seven lines are really good...they should be on a V-day card!

[Randall Richard]

not bad. i like this

[James Conrad]

This one starts off with one of the best openers I have ever read:


Somewhere between
The casual gossip
The lies and the fakes
There was you
And I still don't know why
But you just seemed
To shine through.

In general, this is very sweet and incredibly tasteful.

[Pamela]

It's all been said and I agree with all those reviewers before me. Loved it.

[Paul Grimsley]

i don't know why but i felt that the poem could have ended at i'll tell you tomorrow. i really enjoyed this -- it is wonderfully lyrical and has soem great turns of phrase. it had an easy air that just floated you through the images as you would imagine a million butterflies to do.

[The Last Wayward Son]

Well, what is there to say to this, besides WOW? I mean, there isn't any one way to express love (or any emotion), but with this, there's not doubt left. Nothin' to complain about, so great job on a great piece.