Shattered

10/5/09 ish.

Heart is shattered,

my hopes let down,

but I’ll be over it soon enough.

 

Because this life is beautiful, you see,

sweet and fantastic,

and you’re not ruining my good streak.

 

Yes, I’m better,

better than ever before,

so beyond happy

 

but I’m sad,

and I’m aching,

launched out of the blue.

 

Heartbroken,

and my hopes are let down,

but I’ll be over it soon.

Reviews

[Soul Poets]

Is it sum kinda autobiography

[MusicJunkie66]

awesome, I loved it :)

[Kaden Sylvers]

this poem is very strong and powerful and has the aura of self awareness
some things you can do to improve it are encorporating all the senses (i.e., how does it feel, what does it smell like, what sounds are heard, texture, sight, et ceters)...also, show don't tell. Your words are really lyric but we are missing actual events and images of the events; we are only given the result. Although that mysterious vibe is good, there is room to add more description to the poem.

[Kate Wing]

It is good to see a poem that shows that life goes on. You may be hurting but it wont last forever.

[Zane Mathias]

very sad write, we have all felt this way and to say the least sometimes it will always be there even through the happiness! Great write!

[Stephen Scaggs]

Dear Writer,

Thank you for the read request.

As I begin reading, I sense a forceful writing. As though you are forcing yourself to write again after a lack of inspiration. As opposed to other poems, I felt a fake sense of emotion. Though emotion is a key element in poetry, emotion without the mind is dead like the body without the soul is dead. I love the cliché sense of I'm happy but I'm sad. Love the optimism on the last line. Flow is broken off several times during the poem. Remember that no poet ever reaches a stage in life where there is no stage higher than where they are. A poet is a humble servant to his words.

Always write. Never be discouraged. 7.2/10.

Sincerely,
S. W. Scaggs