Intoxication

Written during freshman year.

I don’t want this.
I really don’t want to
want this,
feel this,
need or desire,
this,
you.

You are my poison,
my sweet cocaine,
when I lose the feeling
it brings back the craving.
Craving of eyes,
of taste,
of hearts,
of skin.

Oh poison �" you’ll be the death of me,
so let me be the death of you.
You would be the worst for me,
I would be the worst for you,
but it would be such horrible
beauty.

This addiction will kill me.
Your apathy will
kill me.

I don’t want you,
which makes me want you more.
Because I hate,
no, I adore,
your lamentable and
intoxicating
fatal
insincere
lack-of embrace.