Oh Castitatis Lilium

Written during freshman year.

Take it all

and numb your gaze.

I wish to clear your mind

away.

Feel the ocean,

let it glaze

your sunshine.

It’s all covered by ice

now,

and it may be wrong

but I feel it.

You may be the right one for me,

but I’m not the right one for you.

And complications,

complications through similarities.

Connections through past love;

could it translate to

something beautiful?

And could anyone actually see me

as beautiful?

Just because everything

is based on a moment

doesn’t make it meaningless.

But would this have meaning?

For you claim me,

your lily of purity,

and for a moment

I feel beauty,

and the words don’t matter

because I know the reason

behind all of your flaws.

Even flaws

can add to purity

in the most corrupt way

I have ever seen.

But when we share our sorrows,

and overwhelming ecstasy,

do we believe

the unbelievable bliss?

But, is it worth it?

And is a connection a good thing

when we both know

we will never love again?

Is it wasting time,

or passing time,

or living

in time?

For some

time works wonders,

but for me;

time ruined my life.

So believe me when I say

I don’t want to waste

another blissful day

or sickening night.

But is this real

when I know you are just a creation

of my lamentable needs?

If this is so,

and this isn’t real,

what will ever be?

Just my comfort,

my moment of weakness,

but translated to strength.

For together,

we may heal.