Angel-Eyed Bright Side

Written in 8th grade.

Lately you have been

my favorite muse;

the voice I yearn for

on a cloudy day,

the one I never hear.

You are the only one

who can help me make it through

in a moment of weakness,

for I promise you

that I will live,

scar-less,

for you.

And you,

you remind me of him,

you remind me of you,

and everything I couldn’t do.

Shallow surfaces,

but deep within,

the darkness consumes you.

In an angel-eyed bright side

and emotional re-runs,

singing different names

but the same feelings true.

Was this all for you?

Reviews

[Not Afraid of Bruises]

Some of the lines were amazing and some of them were cliched - sorry,I tend to be very blunt and honest when I review. Better to hear it now than later.
Either some of the lines just didn't flow or some of them weren't clear in the meaning - my poems are usually very structured so the reader knows exactly what is being felt, what is going on. The last eight lines seem to switch pace from the rest of the poem. More punctuation might help, but I don't think that is the problem.
Still, a decent poem. Best of luck, and keep writing no matter what the butt-head-overly-controlling critics say :)

[Wendy]

oh wow. this is amazing.


you are truly a poet


nice job

[Thea M. Joy]

Very interesting piece. I interpreted it to mean that you have a muse and someone else that he reminds you of and you're wondering if the feelings you have for this muse are truly for him or for the one he reminds you of. Am I even close? Because if I am...oh Lord how I can relate!