Prologue

A preview to Legends of Solaris:Bloodsworn Chronicles. Tell me about it and if you guys really like it then I'll release the rest!

Prologue  / Chapter 0:“Bump-bump-bump-bump” the rumbling of water roars into my ears and as I futilely open my eyes sunlight peeks into the slits of my eyes.  I'm numb with an almost never ending ringing of my ears that sounds like it’s been happening for an eternity.  I try pulling myself onto the edges of the pond but my grip constantly slipping because of the slimy rock face, and the fact that my fingers are numb beyond belief is painfully aggravating. After some time I finally claw out of the pond, my body quivering like a leaf, the force of your head feeling like a boulder is sitting on it, and the utter isolation you feel when you cannot even feel your own skin because of the bitter coldness. I didn't even want to know why I was here, only that I need to survive or that I may die right here right now. Should I think rationally or on instinct? Trust in the help of a stranger or rely on myself? “I DON’T KNOW!” I say screaming as I start to break down into a train wreak. I'm cold, scared, hungry, isolated, hell I don't even know where I am! Wait that brings another question, just who am I? After worrying about myself for so long I hadn't questioned who I was or why I'm here. I was so flustered I hadn't had the chance to sit down and figure everything out. “Ok me... Think, what can I do to improve my situation, oh I know just keep calm. First see if I have any physical damage to myself. Some scratches to the inner left of my thigh, bruised left arm, concussion and a gash to the left of my head, and a major case of hypothermia and delirium.Sigh, figures, let's get my head fixed up. Taking the time to gather up some vines I manage to fix a crude gauze with a weak pain killer and disinfectant out of a foam like substance Taken from an ant mound and a plant similar to the aloe plant. My cuts can heal on their own but I need to figure out how to start a fire to at least raise my body temperature. The only problem is that my hands don't even have a shred of dexterity in them. Every attempt I try just slips away just as I start figuring out the rhythm. “Scratch-scratch-scratch” I start twirling the stick in between a notch within a piece of wood and keep a steady pace for the next 15 minutes. “~scratch~scratch~scratch” I begin to up the pace. After continuously doing this for an entire 25 minutes I think I finally start feeling my finger tips. Then puffs of smoke begin appearing. Now I start furiously start brushing my hands together, the puffs now into a plume. Until “Snap!” The stick breaks mid way through my spindle motion. Frantically I begin to uncover the ember and place it within a dried ball of moss I found dangling from a small cave entrance. “Feeew, feeew, fooo.” Gently I tend to the tinder ball until I hear “FWOOM.” I had just successfully made myself a fire.

Reviews

[Andrew Uphoff]

There is a good story to be had here. There are a lot of unanswered questions and a few ideas that you can expand on.

Although I understand that there's supposed to be mystery to who this character is to start, I think you should at least give them some identity. All we know about them is that they're injured somehow and despite being desperately cold and in pain, they have the presence of mind to analyze their own health and status.

That's great, but I think giving them a sense of panic and uncertainty while still having the instinct to survive could greatly increase the sense of character depth and give the reader a much better way to identify with the character.

It still needs a lot of editing(no paragraph breaks made me want to click back on the page right away, and there are quite a few spelling and grammar errors), but don't let that discourage you!

My best advice is look up some resources(free or otherwise, up to you) on self editing so you can at least give a more presentable piece if you are looking to publish.

Keep up the work! Never stop writing!

- Andrew