Drenched

"Another Emotional Poem"

The night has swept across,

No sun, no moon and no stars

To guide me as I walk on

This rainy night...

 

People stare as I pass by.

Nobody, no one dares to share

Their ugly umbrellas with me

And cover me awhile.

 

It was damn cold.

I shiver, I shake, and I froze

But n warmth was

Welcome here tonigh.

 

I felt weakened.

I'm hungry, sleepy and sick

And I don't think I

Can take much more.

 

I wanted some help.

I texted, called and looked for you

But vain luck

You came with no reply.

 

I can't fight no more.

I bowed, kneed, and layed

Against cemented street

Of this alleyway.

 

I'm all wet.

Raindrops. dewdrops, and teardrops

Slowly strangeld me

To a painless death.

 

My eyes closed.

I thought, I hoped , and I prayed

This is just a nightmare

And i will wake up soon.

 

But it's all reality.

I can feel, I can see and hear

A voice that sounded

Like yours.

 

And it is really you.

I saw you came and fetch me up

And so drenched, we will walk home

Together...

Reviews

[Jayden]

I'm breathless. The effect of the words you typed, the intent within the feeling, it's incredible...
And I absolutely adore your style of writing here!
Mixing the tenses of how you're looking at it when you write it, it really drags the reader in with curiosity.
Over-all, it was amazingly strong even though it was about loneliness and the possibility of despair =]

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Very strong poem .. you did a very good job putting your emotions down,,enjoyed this much.
Chloe

[.::Cup^E^Cake*RaWr!*::.]

BREATH TAKING!!!!
This piece is so beautiful!!!
I love the story & how it told of feelings alone & cold & wet & then love comes along to save the day!
Amazing poem!

[Karen James]

I love how you build up the character whose alone and out in the cold and wet. Then have someone help them, arriving like a ray of light.

[Stacy]

A piece of me wonders if this is about a lost love my dear or is it about a parent?? I can't decide between the two, but I like that about it.

[Dshaman14]

This review was from
Sara
" i love the idea of hope at the very end when he was so sure of death. this is romantic and sweet, with some powerful imagery and emotions tucked inside. great job! "

[Dshaman14]

here's another on from Millicent R.

"I like it.It makes me cry.
Emos unite T_T"

Posted 2 Months Ago

[Dshaman14]

sorry got mixed up
this review was from justjenn_2u

" Isn't it funny how when you really need another to be there, there is no one. I felt this in your poem. Don't let how others treat you, turn you heart cold. It gets better!"

[Dshaman14]

thanks for thereview people
^^

[Jane Doe]

I'm all wet.

Raindrops. dewdrops, and teardrops

Slowly strangeld me

To a painless death.


I love these lines. This is a great piece, I really enjoyed reading it.