Untitled Chapter nine

Christian left as I stood there so confused, so empty inside. I didn’t understand the attraction between us, it was so strong; but it wasn’t the same as the attraction I had with Matthew. What I really needed was Charlie, I needed someone who could deal with me and my emotions objectively. I needed something to do so I pulled everything out of the wall storage and began to organize it.
Matthew came in and I quickly rushed over to him. I had felt so lonely and now that he was here I felt so much better; safer somehow. Who would have thought that I would ever find myself even thinking that I was safer hid out in a cave with a vampire. I looked up at him briefly. He hugged me and kissed me gently before tossing down the duffle bag he was carrying next to the wall. He looked over at the mess I had laid out on the ground and his expression quickly changed.
“What the hell are you doing with that?”
“I was just trying to get it all organized.”
“No, the herbs. That one there particularly,” he said as he pointed to the vampire sprig that I had gotten in New York.
“Those were the ingredients for the spell I used to remove the mark.”
“You can’t remove the mark with that, that is blood lust. That is the plant that made me a vampire.”
“But it can’t be,” I said as I began to get dizzy. The sound of the vampire telling me I was still marked rang in my head. Matthew picked me up and carried me over to the bed.
“It can and it is. Where is this spell?” he demanded. I pointed to the pile of loose papers.
“But it worked, well at least temporary.”
“What do you mean?” he asked as he picked up the loose papers.
“When I was attacked, the vampire that bit me said I was still marked right before he slammed me against the wall.”
“But you can’t be marked, I bit you and nothing happened.”
“That is why I think it only worked temporarily.”
He looked carefully at the pile in his hand and then he stopped; I watched him as he stared so intently at the picture in his hand. Then he held the picture out so that I could see it.
“Why do you have a picture of him?” he asked.
“That is the picture of my father that I told you I had. Why?”
“It can’t be. This is your dad? Are you sure?” his expression changed yet again.
“Well only by what my mother had listed, look on the back of the sheet,” he turned it over and saw where she had written ‘Baldemore, early spring.’
“This is the man from the village, the one that had approached Christian. He wanted to be marked and agreed to create an entry way in exchange. When Christian couldn’t finish it, I did.”
“You marked my father?”
“I marked this guy. So if he really is your father, then yes.”
“And then you marked my mother? While she was carrying me?”
“Yes,” he said in barely a whisper.
I didn’t know for sure, but I had a very strong feeling that my father was marked before I was conceived. My mother was marked while I was still in the womb. And if genetics could carry over then in some way I was then marked, by Matthew. I was so thankful that I was already sitting down, because I wasn’t sure my legs would have held me if I was standing. This could explain why biting me didn’t have any effect on him; it explained how he was able to find me, that homing device that Cassie had spoke of. The enormity of the situation hit me; too many questions circled through my mind. I looked down at the herbs and something began to nag at me.
Staring at them I felt a wave of nausea pass over me, this just couldn’t be happening. I quickly grabbed all the herbs and threw them into the fire. I knew that nothing was accomplished by doing this but it made me feel just a little bit better. I stared at the fire watching as the herbs as they slowly burned.
“This recipe, spell, whatever, it would have turned you. It should have turned you.”
I turned to look at him. He wasn’t saying anything that I wasn’t already thinking, and yet it seemed so foreign to hear him speak it out loud.
“So should have drinking Christian’s blood,” I whispered as I turned back to the fire.
You could no longer see the herbs, but I still felt as if they were there taunting me. I felt an overwhelming sense of helplessness, it was eating at me. I reached out forcing the fire to burn exceedingly hotter till it burned through everything in the pit. Matthew reached around me and gently pushed my arm down before pulling me away from the pit.
As I was pulled farther away from the fire I could feel the cold rush of air hit my arms. When I looked down I realized how close to the fire I had been. We both stood there staring at the fire pit as it slowly started to die down to just glowing embers. I felt the sting on my skin from where the heat had soaked through; it was a lot like a sunburn.
“Let’s go to the stream for a while, you skin could do with the cool water,” he said.
“My stitches?”
“It’s almost completely healed. I can’t say why, but your healing is accelerated.”
I created an entry way and we stepped through to the stream. He was right the water did feel good on my skin, at least the fire didn’t actually burn me, that could have been really bad. I tried so desperately to put everything into perspective but it was just too much right now. Matthew pulled me so that I was sitting closer to him, and I leaned up against him.
“What’s going through that mind of yours?” he asked.
“It might be easier to ask what isn’t,” I answered back. Which was true? I was having trouble with everything that was circling my mind.
“You just need to get your mind off of it for a while, then start taking it in a little at a time.”
“I can’t seem to get any other thoughts into my head right now. Everything seems to run back into all of this.”
“Well how about I just tell you a story from my expansive life. Pick a year or century,” he said with a little laugh.
“It is hard to really grasp that concept, five hundred years is hard enough to picture
real people existing back then. So to try and imagine you being there for all of it, talk about a whole new concept of age difference.”
“Do you have a problem being with such an old man?” he asked as his hand slid across my stomach area sending that odd warming sensation through my body.
“I can’t remember exactly it’s been a little while,” I said. He pulled me across his lap and kissed me. Everything inside me stirred. Suddenly a very important question came to mind.
“Can I ask you something,” I said as I pulled from the kiss, he lips trailed down my neck.
“You can ask me anything,” he said through muffled kisses.
“What kind of relationship can we have?” I asked. The kisses stopped as he pulled back and looked at me. I gave him a quick smile before I started to bite my lip again.
“Depends on what you are referring to. Do you want to go get married?” he said as his finger pried my lip from my teeth.
“Please don’t make me spell it out,” I pleaded. I had never been subconscious about the subject before, but then it never meant so much before.
“Any time emotions become strong it becomes a matter of control. High emotions makes control hard, like what I was telling you about Christian. He lets his emotions about what he is tear him apart; which is why he is so extreme in each world. If emotions are intense then it becomes very hard to keep a hold over our strength and especially our control. When he is here he is like a normal human, reminding him of everything he gave up. So when he returns that guilt and desire overwhelm him.”
“You seem pretty calm about it all.”
“I’ve had five hundred years to deal with it.”
“Okay, back to the subject, can it be done?”
“There is a huge risk.”
“How huge?”
“In the event of loss of control, it could kill you.”
“That would be huge,” I said as I thought about it. “What about someone in my situation?”
“Well there is no telling, since we honestly don’t know your situation. As far as I know you are a first; so we will never know anything until it happens to you. What are you thinking?” he asked as he gently touched my face. I bit my lip again for a second and then sat up.
“There have been a lot, haven’t there?”
“That died or that I risked it with?” he asked back.
“Both,” I said.
“Yes.”
“Yes, to which?” I asked.
“Yes to both. When we first became what we are, it was all new. The whole concept of what we were or what we were capable of was completely unchartered; just as it is with you now. We were young, foolish and high on power. We didn’t let anything stand in our way, if someone died as a result it wasn’t our fault. As we started turning others we found that being with another vampire was just as satisfying without having to worry about trying to contain the emotions. Eventually it was discovered that death wasn’t the only outcome, it all boiled down to control.”
“How did you get the scar on your back?” I asked to quickly change the subject. I didn’t like the thought of him possibly being with Cassie. I felt that I could handle any others, but not her.
“Another first, that is how we found out that holy water does have an effect on us. A true rumor for a change. I followed someone into the church, we struggled and the little basin was turned over and splashed onto my back. It’s been the only injury that I’ve received in five hundred years that doesn’t heal.”
“That was what Winifred injected into Christian?”
“Yep, plain old water, that had been blessed. Amazing what faith can do for you.”
“I think I’ve had enough time out here for now, are you ready to go back?”
“Where ever you go, I shall follow,” he said as he put his hands on my waist and lifted me out of the water. Within a second he was out of the water and standing next to me.
We grabbed our things and stepped back into the cave. It was cool inside the cave since the fire had completely died while we were gone. He changed clothes and then began to place fresh wood for a fire. I changed and then walked up behind him.
“Want some help with that?” I asked.
“Only if you can control that fire in you. I would like this one to last a bit longer than the other one did.”
“Funny, you must think that age has something to do with how humorous a person can be.”
“Well age does have its privileges,” he said. He moved away from the pit as I leaned forward and started the fire.
“Don’t think you can pull that card with me.”
“I think I could use it to my advantage,” he said as he pulled me down onto the bed.
Later that evening we went to Las Vegas where he took me first to a house where the vampire there specialized in fake ID’s. Once we had the new identities we went to the Little White Chapel where we had a ceremony without the license part. Then we went to the casino for a while. We lost most of the money we had with us before he took me to get something to eat. Over all it had been a good evening, every once in a while thoughts that I couldn’t get rid of slipped in, but I did my best to push them aside.
I woke up the next morning in his arms. So much to think about but only one thing came to mind. I gently kissed his chest, and then worked my way slowly up to his neck and then to his awaiting mouth. I couldn’t help but smile.
“Was there any enjoyment in it for you if you had to work so hard on the control thing?” I asked feeling a bit guilty.
“Trust me, just having you in my arms is probably more enjoyment than I deserve. Anything above that is pure ecstasy. Are you satisfied?”
“Completely.”
“What do you want to do today?”
“Well I really think I should clean up here first,” I said as I looked at all the items that are usually inside the wall storage.
“Before you put them away I want to see that spell that had the blood lust on it.”
“Here,” I said as I pulled it out of the pile. I watched as he looked at the paper.
“The only two ingredients that would have any effect are the blood lust and the vampire blood. The rest are just exotic herbs, I mean they possibly have some medicinal purpose but nothing that could have a serious effect on anyone. Who gave you this?”
“Max, the gypsy that I told you helped my mother.”
“He really thought this would get rid of the mark?”
“Well yes, he had said that it hadn’t been tried be…,” I stopped as I remembered the day that I told him that it had worked.
“What is it?”
“When I told him that it had worked, his first response was that it was impossible, then he quickly reworded. You don’t think that,” again I stopped. Up until recently he had been the only other person between the two worlds that knew what I had the capability of doing. But he had kept the box for me; held onto the things from my mother. Suddenly things started to circle my mind, little things that just didn’t fit. I got up and dressed quickly.
“Hold on what are you thinking about doing?” he asked as he quickly got up and pulled on his pants.
“I have to know what happened to him that night.”
“You aren’t going alone, so let’s go,” he said as he put on his shoes and grabbed a shirt.
We went stepped through directly into Max’s office, I wasn’t about to waste any time going through the front door. He wasn’t there, I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or not. We were about to leave when I heard his voice coming from the hallway. He sounded so perfectly normal; I froze as I listened to his voice and the other that was talking to him. He opened the door and entered in with the vampire that had attacked me. Matthew became instantly enraged and pulled me behind him as he shifted so that we were next to the entry way.
“Abraham, you are a part of this too?” he asked of the other vampire.
“Please, Cassie wasn’t smart enough to run this on her own. As it is I hear she got herself killed from it all.”
“What do you think you can possibly gain from this?”
“Power, control what else. You may be content to ease through the centuries but I have different ideas as to how I will spend them. Though I hear there is a bit of confusion about her being marked. I’m sure by now you know that she is still marked. Can you explain this? I mean I have it on very good authority that she consumed the blood lust and the blood of Christian, lots of his blood in fact. So why didn’t she turn? There has to be some reason to explain it?” he asked with a smile as he looked at me.
“Abraham, we have a long history but I am warning you, leave her alone.”
“Please inform me what will happen. You have been such a pacifist for the last hundred years or so, keeping so many others at bay. Seriously how long do you think vampires can co-exist with humans without some sort of control. And personally I would prefer the control being in our hands.”
“There is no way for this way to end well for anyone, you included.”
“But see that is where you are wrong. You are thinking about what happened in that world, but with her abilities we could go to other worlds, we could pick and choose, now that is ultimate control.”
“It doesn’t work that way. She is not going to be included in any of your plans so again I will warn you, leave her alone.”
“Go away Matthew, you and I both know that we won’t fight here. Go enjoy your life while you can. But I will warn you, if you think that you can stop me; you are terribly wrong. And if I have to get rid of you in order to do it, I will.”
“Abraham, watch your back, because this is not over.”
He stepped backwards and once we were close enough we went through the entry way.
“Matthew, you will have to chose. If you go against me, I will take you out,” Abraham’s voice echoed into the entry way.
I closed it up behind us and turned to look at Matthew. I could tell by the look on his face that this was not good. My head began to throb again. So many questions coming up again, but one more important than the others right now.
“Who is Abraham?”
“Remember I told you that there were three of us, the originals, he was one of them. In fact he was the one who planned it, and convinced us to try it. After about a hundred years of him purposely toying with people and killing them for no other purpose than to kill them. He killed the other original, Peter, only because he wanted to know how we could be killed. Several of the ones he turned he killed too, just for knowledge’s sake. It was like a game to him, he had no concern nor held any value of life.”
“And now you are in danger because of me?” I said as I paced the floor space. I thought about the pain that Christian had been in when they injected the holy water into his arm. It had been because of me, the pain he had gone through was because of me. It wasn’t until I tasted blood that I realized I had been biting my lip too hard.
“Jesse, don’t worry about it. It’s going to be ok. I can handle him.”
“Easy for you to say, I am too good at worrying.”
“Well don’t, things will be ok. We’ll deal with this. I just need to talk with Christian.”
“I think I am going to go and talk with an old friend of mine.”
“I don’t think that is a good idea,” he said as he came and put his hand on my waist.
“Look, I need to go. You need to talk with Christian and to be honest I don’t think it will do me any good to hear what you talk with him about. I’m already shaken up enough about all of this. Too much happening too fast.”
“How can I find you if I need to?”
“I will leave the entry way open so that only you will be able to open it. All you will have to do is push on the spot and it will open.”
“You can do that?”
“Yes.”
“Can you show me?”
“Sure,” I said as I opened the entry way and focused on what I wanted it to do.
He looked at the location and felt around at the solid wall, then he pushed on the spot and it opened up, when he pulled back it closed up again. He looked at me amazed. Then he looked back at the wall again. He repeated it once more.
“How much control do you have over these things?”
“Apparently I have quite a bit. When I was looking for the ingredients all I had to do was focus on what I want and it will take me there. If I want someplace sunny then I can just think it and it will take me there. If I want someplace where it is night then I am there. If I want close or far all I have to do is be specific about some aspect of it. And there I go.”
He finally agreed to let me go but he held me tight for a few minutes before he’d let me leave. I stepped thru to the underneath of the deck to Thomas’s parents beach house. It was the only place that I could be sure would be safe for Matthew to follow if he needed to. I slipped out from the deck into the sunlight, it was almost too bright. I looked around the beach it was empty. I walked around to the front door and knocked as hard as I could. I couldn’t hear any movement inside.
I made an entry way through the door and slipped inside. The place looked the same as it had before; not that it should have changed. It had only been a few months but it seemed like a lifetime ago; this all belonged to a whole different person, one who doesn’t exist anymore. I went to the phone and dialed Charlie’s cell. I held my breath as I waited for him to answer; wondering if he would. But then he wouldn’t know it was me calling from this number.
“Hello,” he answered.
“Charlie, it’s me Jesse,” I said hopeful.
“Are you alright? Where are you?”
“I’m ok, sort of. I’m at the beach house. Is there any way you can come here. I so desperately need to talk with you.”
“Sure, give me about thirty and I’ll be there,” he said. “And Jesse...”
“Yeah.”
“I’m glad you called me.”
I slipped back out of the house and went to sit on the sand. I was so nervous as I kept looking around expecting a vampire to jump out at me. Which of course was ridiculous since it was daylight; but I was still jumpy about the concept. I couldn’t help but think how much danger everyone was in because of me. I hated feeling so helpless, so completely out of control of everything that was happening to me. There seemed an unending trail of vampires wanting to turn me, wanting to control me. I wasn’t even sure if I could be turned. I was technically marked by Christian, but also somehow I was marked by Matthew. If you have to drink the blood of the vampire that marked you then I should have turned when I saved Christian. Or when I used his blood with the vampire sprig.
I didn’t turn which meant one of three possible things, option one was that drinking Matthew’s blood would turn me, option two would be that I would have to drink blood from both of them to be turned, and option three that I have been marked so that I can’t be turned at all, ever. There could be other options but right now I couldn’t think of any. Right now as I thought about the options they all seemed acceptable to me. I just didn’t want to see anyone that I cared for get hurt again.
After the longest thirty five minutes in history I saw Charlie pull up in the drive way of the beach house. I looked around again to make sure it was safe before I got up to head over to meet him. He smiled as he walked towards me, I couldn’t stop the tears when I saw him; I had missed him so much. He gave me a huge bear hug before we walked back towards the beach.
“You and the tears, I don’t know if I can ever get use to this.”
“You may not have to worry about that for long.”
“What do you mean?”
“The question is where to start…,” I continued to tell him everything. About the box that my aunt gave me, about the duplicate box that Max had, the vampires that were after me, killing Cassie, drinking Christians blood, figuring out that I was marked by Matthew too. I told him about the relationships between me and both of the vampires.
“Ok, well I guess that tops me and Amanda being engaged,” he said with a laugh.
“Oh my God, really? When? How?”
“Wait a minute let’s deal with your situation first.”
“Oh hell no, you can’t drop that on me and expect it to just wait,” I said excitedly.
“Well where do you want me to start?”
“Start with when did you ask her?”
“Well after we returned from that other world, your world, I thought about what was important in my life, where I wanted to go from here. I talked with my father and he gave me a job at his firm. Two weeks after that I asked her.”
“Ok, that isn’t good enough, how did you spring it on her, where did you get the ring? Did she know you were going to ask her?”
“No I don’t think she knew. She was having a bit of a time dealing with, well with everything. I purchased the ring at the jewelry store you always drug me into at the mall.”
“You are going to make me drag this all out of you aren’t you? How did you ask her and did she answer right away?”
“Ok, it wasn’t anything too special. I took her out to a very nice formal dinner, and then I slipped it across the table right before they delivered dessert. I asked her and she said yes. She didn’t want time to think about it, she said she knew right away that I was the one for her,” he stopped short from what he was saying. I kind of had an idea that it was something to do with his best friend endangering their lives. After all I knew firsthand how differently you looked at things after your life is threatened to be cut short. In my case my life had been cut short; and now suddenly I was living someone else’s life.
“That is so great, I am so happy for you. You figured out what you wanted and you went after it,” I said as I hugged his arm.
“Now for you, so you are in love with two vampires and once again being chased by other vampires who want to turn you into one to control you. I would say that things are never going to be dull in your life ever.”
“I have missed you so much.”
“I have missed you too. So what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know for sure, but I don’t think I’m in love with them.”
“Please, who do you think you are talking to? Everything that you described when you talk about either of them you are describing how I feel about Amanda. It seems like that has really kind of taken care of itself. So you are married to Matthew and have already had a honeymoon?”
“Well it’s not a legal marriage.”
“But morally it is, and who’s to say it isn’t legal in the world you live in?”
“I guess so. Charlie, you are my best friend in the world, in both worlds. Whenever anything has happened I just wanted to share it with you. I don’t know for sure what is going to happen to me. It seems that I can’t escape the fact that everyone seems to want me to be turned, except the people I care most about. So what is going to happen if they succeed, I lose everyone that loves me?”
“I’ll always love you.”
“Yeah, well I’ll try to remember to remind you as I am sucking all the blood from you.”
“I don’t know about that, you said that your two loves have some serious human traits. Why should you change so drastically if they didn’t? I mean you have a whole world that has taken claim of you; do you think it will let you go any more than I will? You are too loved by too many to ever let things change you that drastically. Plus I can’t imagine you having all these abilities and then losing them to someone else’s control.”
“Well just in case, make a visit to the local church and stock up on some holy water.”
“Yeah I still can’t believe it, out of all the crazy hype about vampires I can’t believe that holy water actually works.”
“It does,” I said as I pictured the scar on Matthews back and the scar now on Christians arm.
“You’ve decided haven’t you?” he asked but he wasn’t really expecting an answer.
“I think so. It doesn’t make it any easier,” I answered anyway.
“You’re pretty tough stuff. I think you can handle whatever gets thrown your way.”
“Thanks for everything. Who would have thought how grown up we have had to become? Though at times I feel like this whole other world thing is freezing me, keeping me from growing up. I can’t stop the dreams, I keep hearing the voices and it is driving me crazy. And all the answers I want don’t seem to be anywhere for me to get a hold of. I hate not having any control over my life.”
“You have control, you just keep letting other people misguide you into thinking you don’t have control. If you could just find that self assured person that you were before you discovered your other half, just because you are on a different playing field doesn’t mean that you should change the game.”
“You know that you come up with some very odd parables?”
“It’s a gift.”
We sat talking for another hour about things happening with our other friends and with my family, before I finally had to tear myself away. Charlie made me promise to come and see him again soon; I think we both knew that it was unlikely. I watched as he drove away, once again I had to say good-bye to my dear friend and my past life. It was a little easier this time; I knew that my life was beginning for a second time in Matthew’s arms. Charlie was right I was in love; but unfortunately the knowledge didn’t make the situation any easier.
I went back through the entry way and carefully closed it up behind me. Matthew and Christian were both there when I returned. They went on and on about what ideas they had about protecting me and all the things I didn’t want to think about. I walked away from them and went outside. It was late in the evening in my world, the stars were out. Briefly I wondered if they were the same stars seen from the other world. Even with the dim light from the stars I could see across the expanse; and it still amazed me. And even with all of this before me I could only think about was what was happening around me. Why me and for what purpose?
I stared at the world below me wishing for an answer. But there was no one to give me an answer; I would have no choice but to accept things as they came. There was no others that had ever dealt with this before. I couldn’t help but wish all of this could be easier. If just one thing was different, one thing had happened differently, I would not be here. If I had done just one thing different I would have my old life back, I wouldn’t have ever found out about this world. I wouldn’t have known about any of this and no one including me would have ever known about my abilities. No one would be in danger and all would be well.
And yet somehow I knew that things might have been a little different; but I don’t know that I would have been able to avoid it. It actually could have been worse. My real mother felt sure that I would be able to open the box when I came of age. So in reality it was only a matter of time before something happened causing me to discover my gifts. And then imagine how things might have been. I could have been picked up by the government and studied as a lab rat; they could have tried to turn me into a weapon for their use. Odd how it seems that no matter what scenario I picture it always ends with someone else trying to control me and my gifts.
I couldn’t stop the tears as they started to roll down my face. I hated being the reason that so many people that I loved and cared about were in danger. I couldn’t stand all of this, I didn’t want anyone to suffer because of me. Christian came up and put his hand on my shoulder. Which at that moment was another problem, his touch still affected me so much. How could that be when I loved Matthew?
“Are you going to be ok?”
“I hope so,” I turned and looked at him and then at his arm. I reached out and gently touched the scar on his arm. It already looked like it had been there for a long time. He took my hand, pulled it away from his arm and held it against his chest. I couldn’t stop the emotions running through me.
“We are going to stop this,” he assured me.
“I know it’s going to end soon. I just don’t want any one I love to be hurt anymore.”
“Jesse,” he started to say but then he just looked away.
“I don’t want to put either of you in danger. I can’t explain it, I don’t want to try but I love you both,” the words came tumbling out. And as I realized it, I didn’t care. It was true.
“I love you too. I wish that I could offer you what he can, but I can’t, I can’t be that guy not now, probably never. I am glad you have him.”
“Please don’t,” I said through the tears. I leaned over and kissed the scar on his arm. He pulled me up against him and held me while I cried.
“I want you to know that I will always be here for you. If there is anything you need that I can help you with all you have to do is ask.”
“Thank you, for everything that you have already done for me.”
“I mean it; you can come to me for anything even if it is just someone to talk to.”
“I may have to take you up on that one day.”
“I’ll be there,” he said as he pulled away.
I just stood there watching as he left. It was all a blur to me. Charlie was right, the playing field had changed. I just had to decide what game I was going to play. I turned around to find Matthew standing at the entrance to the cave looking out at me. I smiled at him, knowing how much I did love him. I loved him more than life itself.
I woke up the next morning in his arms. His eyes were closed but I knew he wasn’t asleep. He only rested for a little while and slept very little. It was a lot like feeding; he didn’t need to eat very often and he didn’t need to sleep very much either. It was very odd but comforting at the same time. When I shifted he opened his eyes and looked at me. There was no way to explain everything that was going through my mind at this very moment leaving me unable to even form a single word.
I wasn’t much in the mood to do anything; I sat on the floor of the cave and listened to the voices. I listened to all the movement that was happening everywhere around me trying to determine how close or far away it was. I thought I could hear the movement at Christians cave; but there was no way to tell for sure. I was sure when I heard Matthew return from the groves. I looked up to see him enter with the bowl of fruits and vegetables for me.
He sat down next to me and peeled the miniature cantaloupe before handing it to me. I ate it slowly trying to figure out what I was going to do. I knew that I needed to make some decisions, but at that moment I wasn’t sure what to do. After I was done eating we went to the stream to wash up, it was while we were there Liz and two other vampires showed up. Matthew quickly pushed me behind him so that they would not be able to get near me.
“We aren’t going to hurt her. That’s not why we are here. In fact we are here to talk with you. We wanted to let you know that if it comes down to choosing sides, between you and Abraham, we will be on yours,” Liz said.
“Why would you do that?” he asked.
“Because even after everything that I have done; she still saved my life. Why did you do that?” she asked me. I stepped out from behind Matthew just a little bit so that I could look at her directly. I was glad that the sunlight had not done too much damage to her.
“I couldn’t let you die like that. I will defend myself and those that I love, but I will not purposely hurt anyone,” I said as I placed my hand in Matthews.
“Well it won’t be forgotten. There are others that have heard and they just might side too but it is too early to tell for sure,” she said. The two vampires that were with her, they just nodded.
“Thank you,” I said.

They just nodded again before turning and leaving. Not a lot of talk with them, but then I don’t know that I would be able to hold a conversation right now. I reached out of the water and placed my hand on the ground; listening to see that they actually did leave. I was able to follow their footsteps until I felt them go through an entry way. I was amazed at the feeling I received when I felt them go through the entry way. Matthew walked up and put his hands on my shoulders firmly, as if he was trying to hold me still.
“Jesse what is it?”
“I could feel them going through the entry way. I’ve never felt anything like it before. Too many changes keep happening that I feel like I’m losing control of myself, my life. I hate it.”
“I wish I had some answers, I don’t know if the constant changes are because of your parents or because of what I did to them. Your dad was so insistent on being marked he was so determined; I honestly think that he would have done just about anything to become marked. I still don’t understand what was driving him.”
“There are so many questions that I have about my parents, their village. I don’t know if the gifts I have are typical for everyone from this world. If my mother or father or anyone else was still here still alive I might be able to get some answers. But then we have the vampire issue also to compound things. And as you said there is no history of this before, I am a first. So there are no answers to how that impacts the gifts I already have; so there is no history for me until it happens.”
“Jesse,” he said.
“I don’t want to talk about it right now.”
“What do you want to talk about?”
“Do we have to talk?”
“I guess not.”
Later he had to leave to go and feed; after he left I sat on the bed and thought about everything. I only had a little while before he would return. There were only a few things that I felt sure about right now; and I had to hold onto that or I would lose control. That was something I didn’t want to ever have happen. Losing control left me open to Abraham and his motives. I placed my hand on the ground and made a fern grow there. I smiled as I gently touched the leaves; he had to forgive me. I hoped. I stood up and went through the entry way I created.
“We need to talk,” I said as I came up behind him.
“Jesse, what’s wrong?” Christian said as he turned to face me.
“You said that if I ever needed anything that I could come to you.”
“Yes and I meant it.”
“I need your blood.”
“What? Jesse, I don’t think you know what you are talking about. Anyway, you already know that it won’t work.”
“Everyone is trying to turn me. I am sick and tired of everyone else trying to control me. I want to do this, I want to have control over my life. I don’t even know if I can be turned. Because of the double marking there are completely new rules. So I need to get answers I need to have control, if I force the change then I can do it where the two of you will be there to help me have some sort of control.”
“What did Matthew say about this? I have trouble believing that he is agreeable to this.”
“He doesn’t know yet. I am not really planning on asking him; I am sure he would say no. But if it is already too late there is nothing he can do about it.”
“I don’t really like this idea. I don’t want to see you become what I am.”
“I can’t escape the fact that there is always someone else trying to force it. And Abraham scares me; I don’t want him to have anything to do with this.”
“Are you sure about this?”
“I’ve thought very hard about it for the past twenty four hours, I need to do this.”
He didn’t say anything else, but he still hesitated. I can’t exactly say that it was the most enjoyable thing I had ever done; but I can’t say that it was the worst either. I moved in very close to him as I bit into his neck his hand rested on the small of my back. There was something completely different about it as I purposely drank his blood. I don’t know how much I drank but eventually he pushed me away. I wiped my mouth off with the back of my hand and just stared at the blood that was there.
It was very odd to think about and yet there was something so intensely fascinating. I looked back at the bite mark on his neck, it wasn’t bleeding. It was very visible but it was not bleeding. Another difference as I remembered the time he had bitten me in Hyde park. I put my hand up to my lips and wondered how different things would be soon; I was setting myself on a path that I wasn’t sure how would end.
“You can still change your mind. We will fight Abraham either way.”
“I meant what I said, I have to do this. If there is any hope I have to have control.”
He just nodded at me as I turned back towards the way I had come. I knew that by now Matthew would be back; I had to do this now before I chickened out. I left Christian standing there watching me. I went to the stream first to wash up before making another entry way; thinking how I may no longer have this ability soon. If I turn it might cause my gifts to go away. As I stepped into the cave Matthew was there sitting on the bed looking at the fern. He had read my mother’s journal, he knew that the fern had been my unspoken way of addressing him. I closed up the entry way behind me at the same time he looked up at me.
I went to him and kneeled down in front of him, I set my hands on his legs and looked into his eyes. There was no doubt about how I felt about him; possibly how I’ve always felt about him. It makes you wonder how much fate really has control of. Charlie had said it before, I had spent my life looking for my prince charming; I just happened to have found two. I couldn’t even begin to tell him how I felt; more so now since I was afraid that I would tell him the truth. I didn’t want to give him a chance to try and change my mind.
His hand gently caressed my cheek, I smiled at him before I took his hand in mine and kissed his palm. I slowly moved up his arm gently kissing him, before I reached his lips. The kiss was the most passionate kiss we had ever shared. I think he knew that something was up; I just hoped that he didn’t figure it out till it was too late. I pulled away from the kiss gently as I trailed it to his neck just below his ear as I pulled at his shirt. Once his shirt was removed I sat on his lap and his arms encircled me. I kissed his neck, and then I bit down till I tasted blood.