Untitled Chapter six

Christian stood there with his fangs bared but still nowhere near as scary as he had been in the park. I slipped away from her and out of the grove, my curiosity was peaked but I knew better than to stick around. Once clear of the grove, when I was sure that I was out of sight I made an entry way into my room at the flat. For just one second I stood leaning against the wall I had just entered feeling a bit guilty of leaving. Not that I really could have been any help but the fact doesn’t change that I left him there risking his life for me. At least I think he was.
I pulled off my shirt and surveyed the damage in the mirror on the wall. It looked pretty bad between the bite mark and the scratches from Cassie’s nails. I found my mind wandering again as I couldn’t help but wonder if Christian would have a mirror image. After all I had been able to see the vampires reflecting from the glass of the store fronts. I wondered if it was the same. It wasn’t exactly a reflective source. I wish I had kept the book that Christian had marked; but it had been a horrible reminder that I had tried to forget.
“I’m telling you I’ve already checked her room,” Kevin said as all three of my roommates piled through my door.
“And there she is,” John said as he swung his hand and hit Kevin in the shoulder.
“Oh my gosh, what happened to you?” Alisa asked as she rushed up to inspect the bleeding wounds.
Through a lot of exclamations I was steered to the bathroom where Alisa set to cleaning out the wounds and bandaging them up. They didn’t question my story of being attacked by an animal of some sort in the park; even if they didn’t believe me they didn’t question it. I spent the rest of the day in my room reading my mom’s journal. I was still curious about the vampire in her life; and now that I was confident it not Christian, I could now read the journal again. My mind kept telling me that I still shouldn’t trust him, but I just couldn’t help myself.
‘The blood drinker that had bitten me twice and killed Baldemore showed up today. Just before he could bite me again, the blood drinker that has been helping me showed up in time to save me. For the first time since he’s been coming to help me he actually sat down next to me and held me till I stopped shaking. It is so hard to explain how I felt; I have to admit that I am very confused about the feelings circling inside me. That was when he asked me to let him mark me. He promised that if he marked me the others would no longer be able to hurt me. He also promised that he would do everything in his power to always protect me and the baby. My mind says I should be careful but something inside of me says to trust him.
Before I would let him I asked him for his name; he said his name is Matthew. I really like the name a lot, but more so the owner of the name. Maybe I am a fool for trusting him but to look into his eyes tells me everything that I need to know; I am safe here with him.’
Matthew, I didn’t think that it could be possible and yet I somehow felt that it was. I thought about the conversations that I had over heard and wondered if what ever happened between them was what made him hate going to the other world. I was conflicted by anger and other emotions that I couldn’t quite separate. Mostly I was upset that he was alive and she wasn’t; it just wasn’t fair. I turned back to the journal.
‘I was out for almost three days; at least that is what Matthew told me. I was just so glad that he had kept his promise. I didn’t feel any different, a bit more tired than usual but the baby was still moving. She wasn’t moving a lot but enough to know that she was ok. Matthew has insisted on me eating rabbit and certain vegetables that he says will help me build my strength back quicker.
After I ate he carried me down to the stream. I hadn’t realized how strong the blood drinkers really were, it did not seem to faze him at all carrying me while he went down the hillside. Never once did he have to stop to catch his breath or to put me down to rest. When we reached the stream he carried me into the water, he was only wearing his undergarments. I have spent the last fifty years of my life with only Baldemore, it is scary and exciting to just be that close to another man. I don’t know if it is wrong to feel this good but I really think that I am falling for him.

It has been a few days since I’ve written but today my daughter was born, I named her Jessina. She is as lovely as I had pictured, in fact she is identical to all the drawings I have done. I believe even more now that it was her communicating to me via my dreams. Matthew was a big help during the delivery. He watched her as I napped; I don’t think he knew that I woke up and heard him talking to her. He was walking around the cave, gently bouncing her in his arms when he promised that he would always protect her, always keep her safe and that anything she ever wanted or needed that was in his power to give, he would give her.’
I set the journal down and paced the room again. Knowing that it had been Matthew did not make things easier for me. I thought that knowing it was anyone besides Christian would make it easier; I guess I could blame my fascination on genetics. I had fallen for his charisma in a way too, not in the way my mother had or in the way I felt towards Christian; but none the less it had been there. But he was still here, my mother was dead, he hadn’t kept his word. He didn’t protect her; he was a liar, the worst possible monster.
I put the journal away and pulled out the sketch book and flipped through the drawings. There was one of Barnum and Seymour, several of the groves and of the stream. The last three drawings had me in them. One was of me creating a flower, one was of me with a squirrel, and the final one was of Matthew as he held me in his arms. The picture provoked so many different emotions.
I knew that I couldn’t change the past, and my future wasn’t going to be anything I ever had thought or hoped for. Actually maybe it had already been everything I had thought or planned; after all, the only goal I had had lately was to get to England again. And I had accomplished that; I had never made plans for college or employment or marriage. I had accomplished all my goals to date. And from this point forward my biggest goal was survival.
I was getting tired of all the lies; it would be nice not having to lie about things all the time. I was also tired of the same people popping up; mostly because they were bad news for me. Between the different thoughts running through my mind and the pain from my shoulder I was surprised that I managed to finally fall asleep.
I woke up to greet Friday with a heavy heart; today would be my last full day in here in England. Actually it would be my last full day in this world for some time; I had no idea how coming back and forth would affect me in the future. I looked out the window to be greeted by a traditional English day; drizzle with a chance of fog. At least wearing a turtleneck would not stand out so badly tonight. I didn’t want any questions about the bandages that I was wearing.
I took the tube to Piccadilly Circus and then went to see Max again. There was an older woman behind the counter when I walked in. She kept staring at me and making me feel very uncomfortable. I found key chains with good luck medallions that I purchased for my roommates as good-bye presents.
“Is Max here?” I asked.
“Who wants to know?” she asked.
“My name is Jesse, he knew my mother,” I said hoping to show confidence.
She picked up the phone and spoke into it in a language I had never heard before, the only part I understood was my name. It didn’t matter because Max came out immediately all smiles.
“I am so glad that you decided to come back to see me. I have something for you.”
“Really?” I asked kind of shocked.
“Come on back to the office. Actually it was a spell that I had found for your mother but it was too late for her.”
“What kind of spell?” I asked, still very confused.
“I guess it would actually be more like a recipe. Anyway it is a spell that is supposed to get rid of the mark. I can’t guarantee that it will work even if you can get all the ingredients.”
“Wow, where did you get this from?”
“There are a lot of things that have been collected by the gypsies over the centuries. Unfortunately some are as old as this one, where we have no stories of it being used much less if it worked. I think the problem is getting the second ingredient,” he said as he handed me the paper.
I scanned down the list and then focused on the second item, one ounce of blood from the vampire that marked you, must be given freely by the vampire. I could understand how that would be difficult; because generally if a vampire marked you there was a reason for it. And most likely that was to turn you; can’t imagine that there are too many out there that were marked for protection or by accident like my mother and I were.
And even if by chance you were sure you could get the blood you would have to be able to find the vampire; which if you fell into the category where they wanted to turn you, you would be putting yourself at risk. I had the benefit of having been marked by accident and for protection but that didn’t mean he would willingly let me have his blood for the spell. Then there was the possible outcome of consuming the recipe; it might actually work, which in my case would open me back up to being bitten by the others who did want to turn me. If it didn’t work then the possibility of consuming the blood could be enough to turn me.
“Your mother was already dying when we found this, she wasn’t able to re-open the entry way to search for him. I wish I could give you more positive information, but your mother seemed to think it would work.”
“I appreciate you giving this to me, at least I know there is a slim possibility that it all could be changed. I just came by to let you know that I was heading back tomorrow, and I wanted to thank you again for all that you have done for me and my mother. It means a lot.”
“You are most welcome, I hope that the next time you visit this world you come by and see me again. I would especially like to know if you use the recipe.”
“I’ll let you know if I can.”
We talked for a little while longer before I left again. I stopped at a few stores looking for some of the herbs listed. I found only one of them before heading back to the flat. It was still early when I got back so I locked my door and took the items from the hiding place inside the wall. Then with these items in hand I made an entry way into the cave.
I had to admit it was a fun way to travel. Once I was in the cave the boxes automatically unsealed; a visible seam appeared and I could simply lift off the lid to access the items. Well at least that answers the question of how it was made. I had to figure out a way to hide these items safely here. I looked around and tried to think what to do with the items.
I decided that the best thing I could do was to create a hiding space as I had done in the flat; which meant the cave wall. The first thing I did was focus on opening up a shallow entry way into the wall. That was the easy part, because then I had to figure out how to move rock without any tools. I was not a science major but I knew that the mass had to go somewhere.
I focused and opened an entry way about three feet wide and two feet in height. I put my hands through until I hit the solid wall again. Next I put all my focus on moving a section of rock out of the wall towards me. I don’t know how long I had stood there but it had been a little while before I finally started to feel movement. This of course gave me encouragement to focus harder until finally I felt the wall push out towards me, I continued to focus and guide it out. What I had not figured was the size or weight of the brick that pulled out and almost landed on my foot.
I grabbed my items and placed them inside the open space I had created. As I was closing the entry way I heard a sound that was almost like a cry. I tried to call out, but I didn’t hear the sound again. Before I left I pushed the block over close to the fire pit.
As I entered my room back at the flat I could hear my roommates pounding on my door. I closed the entry before rushing to the door. I looked over my shoulder at the clock; it was a lot later than I had thought it was.
“Sorry guys, I fell asleep give me just a few minutes and I’ll be ready to go.”
“Just hurry, everyone is already at the pub.”
“Okay, coming.”
I ran a brush through my hair quickly and then took a quick look at myself to make sure that I didn’t look too messed up from my time in the cave. Maybe it wasn’t obvious as I looked at my image in the mirror but I had changed a lot in the last few months. Coming a long way from the spoilt, rich brat, to having to follow a path that was nothing I ever could have imagined. Hell I still don’t know what is in store for me; or if there is something specific the fates have planned. But for tonight I got to be a teen one last time.
The night carried on perfectly, of course the guests were all friends of my roommates more than they were of mine. Several of them I had never met, others I had only briefly met when my roommates had parties at the flat. I had worked so hard at not bringing any more people into my life. There were already too many that I had to worry about putting into danger.
Slowly I tried to circulate through the crowds; which seemed to get larger every time I moved. People shook my hand, gave me hugs, and tearful kisses as they said their good-byes. It was almost too comical and the only thing I could do was try to keep the smile on my face. I just couldn’t believe how many people could just mutter insincere statements about missing me when they never knew me. Of course half of them were already drunk.
“Justine, we are going to miss you,” the young guy said as he grabbed my arm with his free hand. The other hand held tightly to a pint glass.
“Oh I am going to miss you too,” I said fighting to keep a straight face.
“I don’t think Kevin ever told me why you have to leave,” he said as he took another gulp from the glass.
“Death in the family,” I said.
“I’m sorry, someone close?”
“Very close, the sacred marriage cow,” I said as I stepped out of the way as the ale came flying out of his mouth.
“You’re joshing me.”
“No seriously. My family belongs to a very ancient religion and before any of the women can marry their fiancé must have sex with the cow.”
“You have to go home because a cow died. People had sex with it?” he asked. I could tell that he was trying to process the information and decide whether or not to believe me.
“The whole family must agree on the new cow before it can pass the ritual. If I put off this trip then I will never be allowed to marry.”
“That isn’t good.”
“Exactly that is why I must leave immediately. Well I really must try to get a chance to say good-bye to everyone. Take care.”
I wondered over to the next group.
“We are going to miss you.”
“Me too. If it weren’t for my dying grandmothers last wish for me to join the convent.”
I was really starting to enjoy myself for a change.
“I couldn’t believe it myself, I was actually accepted by NASA.”
“I have to donate a kidney.”
“I would stay if I could but I finally got accepted into the circus and they will only hold the spot for a few more days.”
I continued to make my way through the crowd of people till I eventually came up to Kevin and John. They were standing at the bar talking about sports; I was never very good at keeping up with it in America and was just as lost here. Kevin reached over and put his arm around me and I leaned up against him. Even though I had tried to keep from making friends I had grown to really like all of my roommates and I would miss them all the same.
“You know Jesse, you never have told us why you have to leave us so quickly,” Kevin stated.
“Well as I explained to that group there, I have to donate a kidney, to the group in the corner, I have to get married to inherit my fortune, them, an earthquake demolished our house, them, I am joining a convent, preparing to become an astronaut, wanted by the FBI and they are closing in on me,” I laughed as I continued through the list of ridiculous stories I had told that evening.
“Good God, you didn’t really say all that stuff?” John asked as he looked around the room.
“With a straight face even.”
“You are crazy, but seriously, what’s up?” Kevin asked again.
“The honest truth actually seems more bizarre and unbelievable than all the stories I have told tonight.”
“Tell us,” John said. And for just a moment I really wanted to tell them the truth, but I already knew the affect that had on people that ended up believing me. It’s one thing to think or dream or just want to believe in those things but to have to deal with it being true doesn’t quite meet expectations when your life is on the line because of the knowledge.
“Basically that I found out if I go home right away I will have a chance to live a little longer. I am dying right now and there is only one place that I can get the treatment I need to live.”
“Are you serious?” Kevin asked.
“Unfortunately it is true. If I don’t go home I will die.”
We talked for a while longer and when things started getting really loud and rowdy I made my escape. There was a mist out that gave everything a dismal look to it; fitting for my last night. There were already too many vampires out tonight, thankfully none that bothered with me. I felt so guilty for not trying to save anyone, but I was already a target for too many of them. All I wanted was to get my things and get to my world where I now belonged.
I just kept my head down and walked away quickly. Wondering if the recipe for the spell would really work; assuming I had the courage to even try it. As long as I was marked I was safe from all other vampires except for Christian. And I wanted to believe that he was relatively safe as long as I avoided him in this world.
Just a block away from the flat I noticed that I was being followed. I purposely went down the wrong street hoping to get a glimpse of them in the store windows, when I did my heart began to race. There were about five of them; Cassie was in the lead, which I knew meant no good. I slipped between two buildings and was about to open an entry way when I heard her voice behind me.
“Nowhere to run to now.”
“What do you want Cassie?” I asked, trying to sound braver than I was.
“I think I have made myself very clear, I want you to join us.”
“Not interested.”
“There are so many benefits, the least of them being that you would not be hunted by us any longer. But the possibilities are endless, you would be treated like royalty amongst the vampires. Almost God like, and all for one simple thing; just a simple drink of blood.”
“It’s not going to happen.”
“There are hundreds of things we can and will do to break down those defenses. One of my favorites is to just torture you till the pain is too much and you beg for us to let you join us just to stop the pain,” she said as she motioned to the others who all pounced on me at once.
They flung me up against the wall causing my head to hit hard. They bit me, then they screamed out as they pulled away and then I could feel them scratching at me. I couldn’t see her but I could hear Cassie laughing and calling out to them. I was getting dizzy and knew I had already started to lose blood. If I stayed she would not let me die but if I was unable to control anything it would be so easy for them to force me to change.
I was fairly sure she knew already, but I had no choice, if I was going to live I had to escape this now. I opened an entry way and fell into it, taking one of the vampires with me. I was able to close it before the others could follow. We dropped down onto the ground. I scrambled up to my feet only looking at him briefly.
I had the benefit of already knowing where I was and quickly moved to the woods. Once I felt sure that I was deep enough he would not find me I leaned up against the base of a tree. I needed to clear my things out of the flat but I couldn’t risk him following. I drifted out for a few minutes, as I started to come back I had to really fight with myself to get up. I listened carefully to the sounds around me before creating an entry back into the flat. I stumbled into the room, pausing to listen for sounds of my roommates. I was alone; it was a scary thought that I would be spending a lot of time alone from now on.
I collected my bags, left a note for my roommates and then went to where I would now call home. Once I was safe in the cave I lay down and passed out. My dreams were too bizarre for me to even try to keep up with; I was opening entry ways into other worlds. I kept hearing the crying sound from the center of the mountain. Something caused me to stir and wake up. My head felt funny and as I reached up I found a damp cloth on my forehead.
Sitting up caused my head to spin, so I carefully leaned up against the wall. There was a fire lit, which since I hadn’t even brought any spare wood up I knew I couldn’t have done it. I noticed it was dark out; I didn’t know if a day had passed or just a few hours. I looked at my arms where the bite marks and scratches were healing already.
“Good you are awake,” Christian said as he slipped in through the bushes that made the door to my cave.
“I guess I owe you again,” I said as I tried to stand up. I took about one step before I started to get dizzy again. With one arm he grabbed me and pulled me up against him. Even feeling as dizzy as I was feeling, having him that close still had an effect on me.
“Before things get worse I think you should lie back down. You lost a lot of blood.”
“Well I guess that’s what happens when I run into your friends.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” he asked angrily as he forced my back down on the bed. If I had any strength at all I would be stubborn and stand right back up; but that wasn’t even a possibility right now.
“It means that Cassie had her little gang or coven or whatever you want to call it, attacked me as she stood by and gave instruction.”
“I can’t believe that she is still after you, she knows you are marked.”
“Well that only seems to be a small road block for her. She wants to see me turn.”
“Why would she want that?”
“Because I can open entry ways when and where I want. And if she wasn’t sure before she is now.”
“Son of a b***h. Why did you do that?” he barked out at me.
“Well I’m sorry, but that whole I was afraid for my life thing kicked in. That near death experience tends to make you lose your train of thought,” I said as I turned laid back down and faced the wall. I was just too tired to fight right now.
I felt the movement of the leaves as he sat next to me, then he put his hand on my waist. That stirring inside started up again; it pissed me off that my body was such a traitor to what I knew wasn’t a good situation. I rolled onto my back and looked up at him, his eyes held the pain he was trying to hide. I nervously bit my lip as I reached up to his face, remembering all the different facets to him. Hurting inside; because I was still drawn to him despite it all.
He leaned over me, his face just inches away from me. Something in the air, the musky woodsy fragrance that seemed to radiate from him; I pulled myself towards him breaching the small gap between our bodies. He relaxed his arms as he lay gently on top of me. His lips took mine as he slid off to the side of me and pulled me up against him. His kiss was forceful and demanding; and of course it stirred something so deep inside of me that I couldn’t control.
My hands slowly began to explore his chest, and soon my lips broke free from his and started to explore on their own. Desire boiled up inside me consuming me; I couldn’t focus on anything but that desire. His touch, the feel of my touching him. Suddenly he bolted up and away from me.
“What the hell do you think you are doing?” he yelled. His voice was fiercer than anything I had heard before.
I looked up at him confused, lost and empty. Then I saw what had made him angry, my hand covered my mouth in horror as I noticed the teeth marks on his shoulder, instinctively I ran my tongue across my teeth. At some point the kisses had turned into bites and I had broken skin; my loss of control, could be disastrous.
I sat up quickly, unable to chase away the guilt and fear that washed over me as I stared at the bite mark. I couldn’t remember at what point I had started biting; why would I even do that? Never before in my life had I bitten someone in the throes of passion. Did I subconsciously want to turn, was it something inside me or if it was because I was marked?
“I had better go,” he said. I panicked at that thought.
“Don’t. I can’t deal with this on my own.”
“It’s not a good idea, too much of a risk. I meant it when I said I didn’t want to mark you. I don’t want to turn you. I wouldn’t wish this upon anyone.”
“You are the only one I can turn to, the only one that knows what is happening to me.”
“I don’t know if I am the right person to help you. You are the first person I have ever marked and even that was by accident. I’ve never turned anyone.”
“You were turned that is something more than I have experienced. And since suddenly I have a bunch of vampires after me, wanting to turn me, I want to know, I need some idea of what to expect. I need to know what might happen to me.”
I watched as he paced back and forth. I could tell he was trying to decide what he should do. I didn’t know what I would do if he didn’t stay; who could I trust to tell me the truth of what was happening to me. Eventually he sat down against the opposite wall and just looked at me. For several minutes he just sat there not moving.
“What do you want to know?” he asked solemnly.
“Well obviously I know you have to be marked. How much blood does a person have to drink?” I asked as I stared at the fire.
“I don’t know if there is a set amount, I’ve seen people changed with very little and with a lot.”
Terror gripped me as I looked at the healing bite mark, that I had given him. I couldn’t help but wonder if I actually drank any of his blood, and if I did was it enough to turn me. Nausea welled up in my throat, the feeling crossed over me that I wasn’t sure would ever go away. I couldn’t remember the taste of blood, but then again I couldn’t remember biting him.
“I pulled away before that,” he stated. I looked at him, it scared me that he knew exactly what I was thinking. I looked into his eyes and even from across the room I could tell he wasn’t really sure.
“Could you tell me how you were turned?”
“My circumstances were different. I was a different person back then,” he stated almost regretfully.
“People change,” I said. He gave me a small smile, finding humor in what I had said.
“It was in the mid 1700’s; I was the son of a farmer. I was hell bent on getting more out of my life than what my father had. I felt that I was too good to follow in my father’s footsteps, to become just another farmer. I spent my nights drinking and taking advantage of everything and everyone I could. And it was one of those evenings when I was drinking in town that I first met Matthew; he seemed to have it all. He had all that I thought I wanted out of life; nice clothes, women, money, he seemed to possess the world as I knew I wanted. And for some reason he took an interest in me. He promised that he would help me to obtain everything I could ever want. For three weeks I would have to follow his directions exactly. To me this was an answer to my prayers. On that Friday evening after work he bit me and drank my blood till I was almost dead. When I woke two days later he gave me a strict diet to go by. On the following Friday I would repeat the process, and again for the third time. The difference was when I woke up that third time he cut his arm and instructed me to drink his blood. Because of my still weakened state the change happened quickly. By the next evening the change had taken place and I had seen my last moments of daylight. From that point on I was a monster of the night.” He paused for just a brief moment as he looked at his hands; I wondered what exactly he was remembering that he wasn’t saying.
“I spent about eighty years partying, killing and having a grand time at the expense of everyone around me. In the early 1800’s I started hearing the rumors about a different world; this world. They talked about how a person could become rich beyond anything you could possibly imagine, you just had to get here and then all you could ever dream of having you could have it here. The thought of having it all; it was my driving passion, greed. From that point on I was in search of an entry way. I spent fifty years looking for place. I only paused to eat when I needed to, which is thankfully several days apart. I was so impatient to find this place that was how I actually started to drink without killing. Ironic isn’t it? I stopped taking lives out of greed. I was in such a hurry to find this place that I stopped killing to do it. I had known it could be done; several others had been doing it for years. I hadn’t cared to keep from killing until it got in the way of what I wanted.”
He stood up and paced the floor. I watched him, but I couldn’t help being curious about how he found this place. Curious about what he has done over the past hundred years. So many questions flooded my mind that I became almost dizzy from it. His hand gently touched my face, I looked up at him. I hadn’t even noticed him coming near me. He sat down next to me, putting his arm around me.
I leaned up against him, afraid to let myself relax but not willing to give up this closeness. I couldn’t stop the desire that ran through me, even when I thought it had been him who my mother had fallen for; even then I could not stop the desire to be near him.
“It was in 1863 that I found an entry way, it was in Italy. When I first stepped through to this world I stepped into the early morning sunlight. I panicked as I tried to find a place to hide. Then I realized I wasn’t burning. Nothing was happening to me; I stood and stared at the sun for the first time in over two hundred years. I didn’t think I could ever find anything I enjoyed looking at as much as I did the sun. I had found my heaven, my Mecca; a world where I could stand out in the sunlight. Here I could fake a normal existence. I met Barnum and his mule Seymour, Barnum treated me like a real human. He taught me about the food; which plants were safe and which ones were deadly. He also pointed out the village; he didn’t go there, because he liked the life of solitude. I however liked the idea of being able to walk among people without having to hide in the shadows. There was something amazing about it. As I headed out of town I was approached by a young man; he told me that he knew what I was. He asked me to follow him and I did. He led me to the cave I now occupy and once there he told me that he would keep my secret and he would make me an entry way into the other world. He only wanted me to bite and drink from him. I hesitated but to be honest the temptation was too much. The odd thing was that for the first time in over a hundred years I felt guilty. About three days after he had recovered he came back again. I was determined not to feel guilty about the need that my body had, I bit him again. This time the guilt was so strong that I just couldn’t handle it; so I left this world. That was when the change started to happen. The monster in me came out in full force; and that was when I met Cassie. She and Winifred had linked up with Matthew about thirty years back.”
He paused briefly as he looked down at me, but I wasn’t really sure that he was actually looking at me. There was something in his eyes that I just couldn’t place.
“Cassie was one of those that was literally born to be a vampire, she had no qualms about anything. She held no remorse, no sympathy; it has nothing to do with survival for her, it is about power and self enjoyment. I spent two weeks solid with her, and during that time we were un-separable.”
He was so busy reflecting on the past I don’t think he realized how hard his grip had become. I hugged him and then gently kissed his neck. He looked down at me, his grip tightened for just a moment before he finally relaxed.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly as he rubbed the area on my arm he’d been gripping.
“It’s ok. So you and Cassie are an item. It makes sense why she doesn’t like me.”
“Cassie and I may have had sex, but we were never an item. Cassie doesn’t do commitment with anyone, only with her own agenda. At that time I was on her agenda,” as he paused I knew that there was so much more that he was holding back, so much that he didn’t say.
“Oh,” I said because it was the only word I could utter. It bothered me that he’d been with Cassie. What bothered me even more was that I was jealous about it, and I had no right to be.
“It was a long time ago.”
“Yeah. How long ago?” the words just slipped out before I could catch them.
“Jesse,” I looked up into his eyes not sure what I hoped he would say. “It’s late. I think we should hold off on this for now. You need rest so that you can heal from the attack.”
“You’re not leaving me, are you?” I asked in a panic.
“Not possible. I’ll stay until you wake up.”
“And then what?”
“Get some sleep Jesse.”
I repositioned myself so that I was lying down with my head in his lap. I looked up at him, his hand was on the bite mark. I rolled over and stared at the fire. He was staying to see if I was going to change. I couldn’t stop wondering the same thing. What effects would it have on me if I did change? Would I still be me? Would Christian and I have a different status, would we be able to move forward from this awkward cycle we are in now.
I woke early, Christian was looking at me smiling as he gently touched my cheek.
“Good news, no change,” he said. I sat up and looked at him.
“Would it really have been that bad if it had happened?”
“What are you saying?” he asked angrily as he stood up and moved away from me.
“I’m just saying you didn’t plan on marking me, but you did and it turned out to be a good thing. Because if you hadn’t Liz would have. I didn’t even know I had bit you. Maybe there is a reason for all this.”
“No Jesse, as long as I have any control over it you will not be turned.”
With that he turned and stormed out of the cave. I was suddenly left alone, hurt and angry at him for leaving me. I got up and paced the room. I had left everyone I cared about back in the other world; and now I was alone. I felt suddenly imprisoned. I didn’t ask for any of this, but I was stuck with it. I had no one I could turn to for answers, except the vampires, and that didn’t seem to be an option. If only I hadn’t been forced to go to that party, if that little kid hadn’t ran away. If I hadn’t fallen for a vampire that has no serious interest in me. How could he anyway?
I looked out between the branches of one of the bushes that blocked the entrance to my cave and looked out at the stormy skies. It fit my mood. Of course this line of thought
brought me back to thinking about my mom and her falling in love with Matthew. There was no way to explain how I felt about that; I was afraid to read the rest of her journal. To many thoughts crowded my mind about why it ended; but is still came down to the fact that he was still here and she wasn’t.
I went and pulled out the sketch book and grabbed a few pieces of fruit and sat down to look through it. I couldn’t help but be drawn to the pictures of Matthew holding me as a baby; it just didn’t make sense, he was the picture of the adoring father. I guess that he was just a really good actor, or my mother just drew it how she wished it was. I laid down and closed my eyes, trying to decide what I was going to do.
I thought about the things that Christian had told me; and then it dawned on me. He had said that the man who had approached him was able to create entry ways. So it wasn’t a gift unique to just me; were there several from the village who could do so? I sat up and flipped through the pictures and then stopped at the one of the village. Could there be answers for me there? I didn’t know if the village even existed anymore; for all I knew it could be crowded with vampires now.
I would have thought that if that was a concern Christian would have warned me of it; but then again he didn’t think that Cassie could be a problem. I thought about the village and the more I thought about it the more it became a driving thought that I couldn’t get past. So I decided to try and open an entry way to the village, aiming at the site in the picture that if it still existed would provide me with shelter. The entry way opened and I stepped through.
Unsure if it would work I was just a little hesitant as I stepped out into the ruins of the village. It reminded me of the ghost towns back in the other world; dusty and just a bit creepy. The storm had passed but there was still a slight breeze blowing that added to the eerie feeling the place gave. I knew what I wanted to find out, but I didn’t know how to go about finding it. I looked around me at the many different buildings; it would take a very long time to search them all.
But if I had powers why couldn’t I use them to help me; after all I was searching for answers about my connection to this place and about the abilities I had. Acting out of impulse I bent down and put my hands on the ground, and then slowly and very quietly whispered to the earth below me, “Lead me to the answers I need.” For a minute nothing happened; as I was about to give up grass started to pop up in front of me. I watched as it slowly started to grow up in a pathway heading away from me. I smiled.
“Now this is very interesting. Not practical but very interesting,” the familiar cackle sounded. I quickly removed my hands from the ground and was thankful that the grass stopped growing.
“Cassie, you know I am getting really tired of you showing up in my life,” I said as I stood up to face her. She stood there alone but I had a very strong suspicion that there were others around that I couldn’t see.
“Well we could change that,” she said. Christian was right, Cassie fit the part perfectly. Something so venomous about her, a sense of evil seemed to linger around her that just made your skin crawl. And despite that she was very beautiful and it was easy to tell why men would desire her.
“Again, not going to happen,” I said. Though it was more at Christian’s insistence than mine, I think. All I knew for sure was that I didn’t intend to let her be the one that makes the decisions or in any way take control of me.
“But what you don’t understand is that there are many ways that I could use and will use if I have to, you will change and it will happen very soon. What I am really curious about is what else you can do. I know you can control entry ways, and apparently you can plant grass at will, but what else can you do?” She started to get closer to me and I could hear sounds around me.
Fear and anger gripped me as a bolt of lightning struck a nearby tree. She turned at the noise and I bolted for the closest building where I created an entry way. I stepped into the abyss and closed the entry behind me. I didn’t move I just stood there in the dark as I tried to debate about where I should go. I wish I had a clue what the results would be if I went back to the other world for a little while. I knew that I would need to read the rest of my mother’s journal if I was going to find out, I would also have to find a way to get back to the village again.
I opened an entry way and stepped out onto the beach. I heard a scream and turned to see Liz face down on the sand her skin burning from the sun. I couldn’t stand to see her like that, I quickly opened and entry way beneath her and we both fell through. I didn’t know where we landed because the only thing I had wanted was nightfall somewhere. And that was what I got.
“Why did you do that?” she gasped as I started to open another entry way. I turned back to see her leaning up on her arms, even though I was sure she would heal soon it was hard to look at her that way.
“Because I’m not a monster and don’t intend to become one,” I said. I meant it too; even if I did change I didn’t want to become a monster in that way.
“After what I did to you?” she asked. It clearly did not make sense to her.
“Don’t make me regret it,” I said as I stepped through the entry way and back out onto the beach.
I sat down in the sand and looked out at the waves; this had always been a special place for me. Any time I had a fight with my parents I would come here to sit and think. But they weren’t really my parents; in fact their unwillingness to follow the request of my real mother has caused everything to go haywire in my life. I felt so out of control, so completely helpless; and I hated that feeling.
Sitting there only made me more restless. I had too many unanswered questions and I was going to start getting the answers that I needed. I opened an entry way and returned to my world next to the water of the stream. To the area that my mother drew her self portrait, using her reflection in the water.
“Alright world, show me what I can do,” I said as I sat down and very strongly imagined a protective area around me that no one could penetrate.
Then as I thought about it that was kind of a silly thing right now since there was no way to prove if it worked. So I placed my hand on the ground and focused on creating a plant, and a carrot grew there. I pulled it up, and then I rinsed it off before taking a bite out of it. It tasted real. Next I moved over to a plant that was already there, I put my hand next to it and concentrated. Very slowly but visibly the plant literally went back to a seed.
I stood up and then focused on that seed as it grew back into full size again. I looked up at the sky and watched as it grew dark and stormy. Then just as quickly it turned back to sunlight. I focused on a tree across the stream and lightning struck it, and then again. I looked closer to me and picked a small bush and lightning struck there. Finally I picked a spot that literally was only a foot away from me, and lightning struck there. Ok so that one was a real big mistake I realized as my eyes burned from the brightness of it.
I stumbled backwards unable to see anything but the burning brightness of the light. Ok, future reference, consider possible side effects before doing any rash tests of powers. The ground was warm from the strike but otherwise I couldn’t feel anything to be unsafe. I laid back and put my hand across my eyes trying to will it to heal.
“Jesse, are you ok?” Christian called out.
“Yeah, just blinded by the light,” I said as I laughed at the irony of.
“Just stay put, I’ll be there in a moment.” “Son of a b***h,” he muttered.
“What’s wrong now?”
“I don’t know. Maybe a side effect from the lightning, it’s like a wall in front of me. I’ll have to go around.”
“Wait a minute. Can you literally feel it?”
“Feel what?”
“The wall, whatever is blocking you. Can you physically touch it?”
“Of course, otherwise I wouldn’t know it was there.”
“Do me a favor,” I said as I sat up.
“What.”
“Push on the wall a bit, let me know when you are doing it.”
“Ok, I’m pushing on it.”
I concentrated on the wall and then suddenly I heard the thump as he fell forward and then I heard him swear. I tried to muffle the laughter, it’s a pity I couldn’t see his face right now. I could hear him struggle to stand up and then his footsteps towards me. I was amazed at how loud they sounded. I put my hands up to my face and the noise subsided as I realized that the sounds were magnified when I was in contact with the earth. He startled me as he put his arms around me and lifted me up. I felt a familiar warmth run through me, there was no doubt in my mind that it was him.
“What the hell is going on around here?” he asked as held onto me.
“Just a little practice, minus the common sense.”
“Wait are you trying to say that…,” his voice faltered as he came to a dead stop.
“Christian, put me down please,” I begged him. I didn’t want to feel so vulnerable, especially not where he was concerned.
“Jesse, it isn’t safe,” he said.
“I can take care of myself. It’s not like you are sticking around for any long term,” I said as I struggled to get out of his grasp. He just gripped tighter till it hurt.
“I’m not putting you down until I have you safe in the cave.”
I didn’t respond as he moved quickly and quietly through the woods. It would have been terrifying had I not had so much faith in him. Which was a weakness that would get me nowhere; and yet this knowledge had not effect on me. Once we he set me down I knew we were not at my cave, he had brought me to his. He released me and stepped away; my one brief glimmer of hope slipped away.
I felt for the wall and created an entry way and stepped through into my cave. At least I didn’t have to see to be able to do that. I put up the wall blocking the cave entrance and laid down on the bed. I rolled onto my stomach and put my hands on the cave floor and listened carefully; I could hear the crying again. Same as I heard before when I created the storage in the cave wall. I didn’t know how far away that it was coming from but it was heartbreaking; I removed my hands from the ground.
“Damn it Jesse, I don’t know what is going on but let me in,” Christian called from the cave entrance.
“Go away Christian, there is nothing you can do for me,” I called out to him. I rolled over in the direction of the wall.
“Be fair about this.”
“Fair, there is nothing fair about any of this. Fair would be me back in my previous life with a family and friends, blissfully unaware that any of this existed. But since that isn’t the reality of it all, I have to deal with it the best I can. You have made your views very clear, so again I say there is nothing you can do for me. So please stop making it so hard on me and just leave me alone.”
He didn’t say another word, but as I slipped my hand onto the ground I heard him leave quickly. When he moved so fast it was an odd almost fluttering sound. Then I heard a different pattern, several steps, it had to be more than one person. I carefully crawled to the other side of the cave so that I was out of eyesight; wishing I had not been so proud and had let Christian in. I woke up the next morning with a kink in my neck but at least my eyesight was returning.
As I stood up and stretched I realized that I had left the sketch book out yesterday. I had to be more careful. I grabbed the book and a piece of paper fell to the ground. I picked it up and looked at it; it was the recipe or spell to remove the mark. I put the sketches away but held onto the other paper, if I removed the mark then Christian would not be able to find me as easily. He didn’t want me marked, he didn’t want to be connected or responsible for me; the sooner I attempted this the better.

Author's Note

Still open for all suggestions.