My Road, My Armor

For better, for worse, mine is a road less traveled.

My path, so treacherous!, Many arrows do cross it's lanes.

When aware, my road, so beautiful!, Cobbled with diamonds and gold.

Then, fletchings dim the sky, and I, attend to their number.

What once sparkled, are as thorns and I may stumble.





On the ground, lying still, my spirit, my soul, churning up inside me!

Missiles still launching, no matter!, I've donned the finest armor!

No bowman dare court my brigandine, Apollo would surely shrug,

For my road is my strength, my journey my courage!

Reviews

[Katethepoet]

"On the ground, lying still, my spirit, my soul, churning up inside me!

Missiles still launching, no matter!, I've donned the finest armor! "

very nice lines. really liked the poem

[drtism]

Thank you, I appreciate your kind words.

[Rana Adalwolfa Simon]

I was skeptical with the first line, only because it seemed a little overused and cliche. But I'm so glad I kept reading. Wonderful piece. My only comment is this line: "Then, fletchings dim the sky, and I, attend to their number." This would read smoother if you either remove the comma after I, or change attend to attending. I personally prefer the later, because it gives a stronger sense of time. Well done!

[drtism]

I thought the same thing! The Road Less Traveled! The book, by Scott Peck, was so profound for me that I used it here. I agree, I think the comma removal is better, or perhaps rephrasing it. Thanks for your constructive remarks.

[Rana Adalwolfa Simon]

:) Makes sense, inspiration can mean the world to a poem. I'd be half tempted to italicize those words, to emphasize it is an intended reference; it might help avoid others seeing it as cliche.

I'm glad my comments were helpful! I've only been on this site a few days, but I'm so happy, I feel like I'm home. I've been looking for a constructive critique community like this for a long time. :)

[drtism]

That's so interesting, I just signed on yesterday. I think putting ones thoughts out there for others to see and critique can be a reach for some but for me it's imperative. This site, in only this short time, has been both validating and insightful. Thanks

[Rana Adalwolfa Simon]

Agreed! :)

[....................]

"No bowman dare court my brigandine, Apollo would surely shrug, / For my road is my strength, my journey my courage!" What great lines. I enjoyed this very much!

[drtism]

I wrote this initially about a year ago, but rewrote it today. I think my more visceral experiences have added to my understanding and consequent expression. Thank you!

[....................]

I believe that's how it is; as we get older and have more experiences in life we are able to see more clearly the roads we are on and better equipped to examine them. You are welcome.

[drtism]

I agree with you. Experience and age do not necessarily lead to enhanced perceptive insight but it is mandatory.