Recognition and Despair

How much more do you want?

No matter how hard I try,

nothing goes anywhere.

They all claim the same thing.

“Screwing around,

playing games,

wasting my life.”

Teachers, friends, relatives,

what makes you think that?

Despite being holed up in my room,

dark, with the scent of detergent,

am I really just doing all you just said,

while at home, all alone?

Do my grades not prove my efforts?

Do my assignment completions not matter?

What’s the point of doing all of this,

if this is all that you will say?

“Don’t screw around,

don’t play games,

quit wasting your life.”

Is this your way of saying “good job”?

Am I really being unproductive?

Am I really that bad?

I’m just balancing enjoying my short life,

and grinding out work.

Is it really that different from what a human should do?

It’s not like you’ll ever understand.

You already passed that age,

already forgot what it’s like.

They say that I will get through,

but when will it be over?

I’ve been hitting wall after wall,

so many, with no signs of slowing.

At this point, I just feel pure utter

DESPAIR.

Author's Note

Any feedback is appreciated.

Reviews

[YanZeros]

Try to break through the feelings... it is alright to start to think for yourself and be selfish sometimes. I too had felt the same way. Not everything was made perfect and fair. Some words you wish to hear from them you'll never get them. But hopefully things will be better keep going and doing what you think is right for you. Very well written! Désiré Desrosiers :)