wow, this was absolutely amazing! the end was so on point! very well written....i love the imagery this creates - it makes you dream and think as you read. iLove it! Title - hmmm, I would have to agree, I think you can dig deeper to find a stronger one that really sets the reader up for the experience you provide. Again, great write! thoroughly enjoyed it!
I think that the title best suits the poem, correct me if I'm mistaken :]
The pictures had such a lovely meaning to your poem!
I believe that this poem expresses confusion, which some mostly get in a puzzle.
Outstanding :]
Absolutely marvelous wordcrafting! The title gets the point across, and certainly caught my attention. You could play around with it a bit, if you are truly unhappy with it. It certainly wouldn't bother the rest of the poem :o) wishing you laughter
Beautiful poetry here. I just adore your style of writing, it's very raw and powerful. And the theme of this piece was a wonderment, just extracting all these little memories from my mind. You had me captured from your first line because I could never drift out to sea alone, and I don't think I'll ever be able to.
I think that this poem beautifully shows how complicated our minds are, how we are all imprisoned by dreams, memories and the past. I can't stop reading it- every time I re-read it, I find something I missed before. So much emotion stuffed into one poem! And I rather like the title.
the way you start lines with the same word consecutively diminishes the power of your poem a little, but other than that this was told beautifully and wonderfully, showing glimpses into a dreamer's world.
For me, this poem expresses the disappointment of our dreams and expectations; what is beyond our achievement as humans (but probably didn't ought to be) - but it also speaks stongly for those whose 'differences' make the world all the more a puzzle... it broadens its scope to encompass those on the autistic spectrum and quite possibly those who with other characteristic differences i am less aware of.
The ending is perfect... whatever our differences, our mental struggles with the world, we can all appreciate the resilience and beauty of natures cycle.
I'm Russell from Wales.
I've been writing for many years. Writing is important to me and its my only reason for being on this site. I like to take my time on my poems and I hope to keep learning an.. more..