Unliveable

Thoughts over the course of a day. Whilst watching Equus, listening to Pulp and escaping the day and/or life. Cause we're all just merely escaping life instead of living it. So, are we really here?

If all we're doing is escaping life in some way or another,

Then are any of us really here?

If we're all just thoughts and thoughts of thoughts,

Then are any of us really thinking?

If we're all either sleeping too much or not enough,

Staying up late for no reason and yet tired of life,

Then are any of us really awake?

Somebody's someone everybody's no-one,

Not long to go but nowhere to go,

You can't go on yet you do.

Want to leave but you don't,

Going nowhere but everyone's always going somewhere.

If we left out the lies in our lives then it would become unliveable.

If you live forever past the present, 

You'll find there's nothing there other than what's past.

If you live and die for the truth you'll discover that it was a lie.

It's easy to make a mess of our lives,

Everything is clutter and we're all someone else's mess.

Life is stupid. That's why people spend their lives doing stupid things. 

To prove that we're not stupid.

Are any of us really here?

We say we're doing fine when we're not,

Everyone's someone else's nightmare.

We've all got it wrong yet we're all right,

This world is a nightmare of a nightmare

And you're my nightmare.

 Best Theme/Moral 

Mar 7, 2011

• Depressing Poems
• Unliveable

 10th 

Mar 25, 2011

• Life has taught me! "poems"
• Unliveable

 Better of the Best 

Apr 25, 2011

• Dark Poems
• Unliveable

Reviews

[Alessander]

You won a depressing poem badge!? I'm impressed lol

But seriously, I really like the word play in this. Reminds me of ee cummings "anyone lived in a pretty how town"

anyone lived in a pretty how town
(with up so floating many bells down)
spring summer autumn winter
he sang his didn't he danced his did

Women and men(both little and small)
cared for anyone not at all
they sowed their isn't they reaped their same
sun moon stars rain

I think it's the almost stream of thought and word connections, which although playful and somewhat paradoxical, belies a sadder core. Everything in this poem is both true and untrue.

I applaud, with one hand clapping.

[Seshat Nidaba]

They say we think 3000 thoughts a day, I think 18 of yours would be worth keep, that's compared to the 5 brave thoughts most mortals think a day! Very philosophical again, makes you wonder how the internet is part telapathy, part virtual reality, part mere cultural layers of our own imagination! so true!

"If you live and die for the truth you'll discover that it was a lie." You must be a student of history?

[The old me]

very touching poem. its depressing and thought provoking, and all just great put together. very good job on the whole thing. bravo

[Kerry O'Connor]

Strangely, I don't find this poem depressing, does that mean I'm so depressed I don't even know it?
No, I find I can relate to many of your questions and suppositions:

If we left out the lies in our lives then it would become unliveable.
If you live forever past the present,
You'll find there's nothing there other than what's past.
If you live and die for the truth you'll discover that it was a lie...

This is some good existential sh*t!

[White Ink]

Thought provoking indeed. Congratulations for winning 10th place in "Life has taught me contest". well done!

[Rachel U.]

You know, when I first started reading this, I thought "Meh. This doesn't feel very special so far." But as I kept reading, and you were able to keep up your word play, I became more and more excited. Another plus was that you were consistent the entire way through, without a single inconsistency in punctuation and ne'er a grammatical flaw to be found.

If I had any critique at all, it would be that you unnecessarily switched the person back and forth between first and second...but hell. It worked so well, who cares?

I felt like you played off a dream within a dream to actually be a nightmare of a nightmare, btdubs. But rubbish, I don't ever talk about an author's intent because it's silly to guess the origin of inspiration.

Regardless, nicely done, sir. Nicely done.

10/10

[Arabdha]

this is depressing..and leaves me with a feeling of confusion..nevertheless very thought provoking and well written..

[.]

thats a dichotomy indeed..one thing can't exist without its counterpart..it's all relative to the relative..clever write..

[J.M. Walsh]

I asmit that I didn't care much for the other verses, but my God, verse 3 is something else. That is some major food for thought - dying for the truth to discover its a lie, brings thoughts of so many martyrs and so many revolutionaries who died when the world has turned away from what they believed if. But mostly your point on living forever bears no greater reward than living for little. In my own studies I was reading its argued that the gods are envious of mortals, because our lives are lived with an aim to being virtuous because of our mortality and you really drove that point home in my eyes.

[Vesa Lee]

I like the voice in this one. The questioning, the analyzing...
You ask but don't demand answers in return. There's a tinge of defeat in the piece. It is depressing, so the badge is well earned. ^-^
Thanks for posting this. It's so nice to read something on the WC that isn't about teenybopper heartbreak. *laughs*
Great write.

[Calypso]

Many people with depression feel just like this. I wish I could write such a great poem on the topic of depression.