A Strange Kind of Victory

Time defeats us all, there is no victory. Inspired by Morrissey & Bonnie Prince Billy.

Defeated before the day as awoken,

I was happy alone but now all I want -

To disappear under my pillow.

Surrendering before tomorrow is asleep,

I wouldn't let you die there is no victory -

But time is dying all the time.

I'm frightened of not being afraid

You don't appreciate others until they're someone else's,

We don't understand unless its misunderstood.

We don't learn to love ourselves

You don't know what you got until it's gone,

I'm frightened of dreaming.

It's a strange form of jealousy,

That makes us old before you're an adult - 

Young till your dead, it takes time.

It's a strange form of inadequacy, 

That makes us save ourselves first -

God knows, I won't let the thought of a thought die.

Reviews

[Erin]

"But time is dieing all the time." Did you mean "dying"? Just a thought on grammar...
You used the words to create a wonderfully moderate flow. Your vocab really helps the tone of a sleepy "it's all right, I'm not too excited" way of saying that the speaker isn't overjoyed that he's had this strange victory. The movement of words helps with this, and I especially liked how you used...the same word x2 to get the point across...

"But time is dieing all the time."
"I'm frightened of not being afraid"
and one of my favorite lines,
"God knows, I won't let the thought of a thought die."
Great job. This is going in my library!
PBP

[Chipgirl]

like this, well done

[Closedown]

I love this, very muchly. I think I'll stay young as long as I can.

[Ruth]

This is stunning work love! Truly so!
I am blown away by this!
A great piece of work that leaves the reader reeling in thoughts! lol
Time can be the demon that suffocates us or the angel that releases us, I think we all battle with that - a brilliantly thought through poem!
xx

[Adelia Alighieri]

I think the title suits perfectly to the poem.
I like the 'controversy' within the lines, lol. Impressive.

[Cheyenne]

Very good read i think though that you use a couple cliches that may be what you want to do though so keep it if thats what you like!!

[Jonathan De Elvira]

Sometimes we tend to change without realizing....
and when we realize that, we would know that ourselves isn't ourselves anymore...

[Kes]

whoa. Nice! Sorry i can't think of anything more constructive to say... just - nice!