Silent Tears of a Wallflower

'We all have to suffer a little for what we love.' Written January 14th 2010. Image: Tara McPherson.

(Found it so hard)
The stars have cried out all their tears,
The world is silent without any rage.
(Love is lonely)

Looking for love I found a ghost
(Your heartbeat is on the wall)
Suffering our dreams

(Far apart, really close)
I'm the shadow of everything falling apart,
You're the light that touches the edge of who I am.
(Time fragilely draws us nearer)

Aching to keep to the right way
(Suffering what you love)
There's more than one way

I'm no good at being ordinary 
But I'm nothing special either,
Maybe I should stop living in my dreams 
And get an ordinary job.

Friendly pictures live as ghosts
(Cluttered minds dream of other worlds)
Unfriendly ghosts mutilate pictures

Time comes apart, the world passes us by
Facing all the serious stuff on our own.
Alone in shadows, yet all the happiest memories
We can look back on are shared face to face.

In my day dreams I'm a super hero
(I'm nearly 30 and just a boy who wants to live) 
In my night dreams I'm an outlaw

When you're young and small
Shadows cast tall and lonely.
When you're grown up and sad
Shadows seem small and yearn to explore.
Seeing through your eyes and walking in your shoes,
Finally I've learned to accept the love I deserve.

Author's Note

Does the the structure and the use of parenthesis's
work or does it damage the flow?

Reviews

[Habaeus Diem]

I definitely think the parentheses add to the work. Also keep in mind that sometimes there are times you do not want a poem to flow ^.^

I liked the parenthetical remarks because they reminded me of whispers of thought that one has when someone else is talking. i.e.: "You're such a nice person" (Really? You haven't seen me angry) "...you know, thanks for doing this for me" (and you would have yelled at me if I hadn't) "...it means the world to me" (No, it just means a task you didn't have to do. I know you too well to buy that.)

Especially what stood out was the part where you seemed to contemplate whether your dreams were even worth it, and some people do in fact give up. Some just move on, some laugh bitterly at the thought that they ever dreamed. Honestly, this poem seems to hit a secret nerve everyone has and few will admit is within.

All in all, good work.

[Sweet & Tender Hooligan]

Thanks Habaeus for the really interesting and thoughtful feedback.
I'm glad you liked it and saw all that in it. :)