Not Loving You Is Harder Than You Know.

Every night, I sit here and cry.
Every night, I tell myself it'll be okay.
Every night, I know I'm lying to myself.
Every night, I tell myself it'll be okay,
even when I know it won't be okay.
Every night, I think of you,
even when I fight myself not to.
Every night, I can't get you out of my head.
Every night, I know I'll go to sleep thinking of you.
Every night, I know I'll wake up at some point,
and just cry.
Every night, I know before I fall asleep,
the next day will just be worse.
Once I'm awake I put on a fake smile and pretend to okay.
But, I know deep inside I'm dying so slowly just thinking of you.
When I think of you it just kills me so bad.
I cannot comprehend why I feel the way I do.
I cannot imagine why you would do such a thing?
I cannot see why you don't want someone there to help you with this.
I want to be there with you.
I want to help you.
I just love you with everything I have to offer.
Why can't you see that?
Why can't you see how bad I'm hurting..
Why do I even bother trying to talk to you anymore.
Why does it seem like your life is so perfect without me,
and why does my life seem like s**t without you?