Unapologetic

 

 

I was thirsty

so I took a sip,

hunger gripped my body

and I ate “unclean” food

                                 

                                   desire overtook me

                                   stealing a kiss,

                                   pain shook me

                                   my cries shattering tranquility

               

                I was dying invisibly

                refusing to go unknown

                into the unknown…

 

regrets were stacked up

mountains of past offenses,

tomorrow black in fear

unlit horizon hiding truth

     

     you came to me

     unbidden, you rested

     caressing cold feet

     as you waited warmly

     knowing my need

     to welcome you in

 

And then you spoke

without speaking,

touched without touching

forgave without blaming

gave without condition,

humbly I accepted

providence’s provisions

 

understanding dawned

with twilit faith,

I could hear your voice,

whispering my confidence

It is well…

Author's Note

Why do we apologize and regret what cannot be changed? Why do we promise tomorrow will be different? All we can do is accept the gifts of life and live in the now.

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

You are so right....we can only live in the now. Regrets are really useless emotions. We give in to temptations in the heat of the moment and even though it feels right at that particular moment, the next day things might feel a bit different. The changing of margins and fonts was effective in this write. I especially liked this stanza:

And then you spoke
without speaking,
touched without touching
forgave without blaming
gave without condition,
humbly I accepted
providence’s provisions

To have one day, one night, one hour with such a person is very special....damn the consequences. Your poetry is always a pleasure to read. Lydi**

[David Scott]

I love your review! You get it...
I usually do not like the distractions of moving the copy around the page and changing fonts etc... It felt right in this case. I am glad you felt like this works here artistically.

I spent years beating the living crap out of myself... no longer.
Thank you for your words and understanding.

[Rachael Lea]

I like the set up of this poem, it is almost as if a person it moving forwards and backwards, which is a good thing to portray when speaking of what is spoken of. We will do something in the throes of our temptations live off of the high regret and wonder if apologizing is right though here is the thing, are we truly sorry and if we are does that mean we regret what we have done? Another question though, Even if we regret what we have done can we change it? We can plead our case but we must forgive ourselves and pray for whatever damage we may have caused because of us to forgive us as well, but wait why must we obtain their forgiveness? They will chose to do what they want, if they do not chose to forgive that is their choice, and something they must live with and accept. Wow I just made it sound like its completely okay to be as selfish as to not care, its not that caring is the issue though because we can be read by the right people I'm not saying to go out and commit adultery or kill a slew of people I am just saying accept what you have done and stop battling the thoughts that follow because of it. Did I make it more complicated than that? My brain is just going non stop because of this poem. This is a good thing though so be proud to have accomplished that!

[David Scott]

Thank you very much. I was trying to put profound thought into this write. It is a topic I have had to educate myself on...
There is also the element of rationalizing here. We can justify just about anything. We can forgive or not... None of us our perfect. So, apologize! YES! Always and sincerely. Yet, never live apologetic. It is a living death...
I am glad I got your wheels turning.

[Rachael Lea]

Okay so if you feel the sorry and the guilt eating apologize... yet if you are truly sorry this apology will be meaningful and not just I am sorry and then you go and do it again. I really like that. I am guilty of apologizing for everything even things that I did not do. So that is relatable to me, and something I have come to work on. Thanks for explaining that to me.

[KWP]

yeah that's an interesting thread of thoughts - your authors comments reminded me of what I have read in Osho's words .... you are right, all of it is LIFE - there is no right or wrong just made up human rules ... we are here as an expression of life and we simply must learn again to flourish in whatever form doth take us :) nice one X

[David Scott]

I am not sure about nothing being wrong or right... I agree, we tend to create absolutes out of thin air. I was exploring the ideas and feelings of regrets I think. This is more of a question for me than an answer.
I will keep learning.
Thank you kindly again KWP.

[KWP]

:D XXX what was that quote 'beyond the field of wrong and right, I will meet you there' something like that - I have always loved that one X

[David Scott]

If only... (sigh). :)

[Willard Wells]

Interesting read and thoughts. The only answer I have is we are human and flawed. I mean really, you look at some of the thoughts and fears we have of things we have no control over. We will all question and ask why? Yet with an answer or not, We seldom can change what is destined to be.

Well done.

[David Scott]

Food for thought to be sure Will. Choosing to live empowered now... Thank you for reading!

[alifeacoustic]

We all strive to be the better person and accept our faults and others for what they are, the differences that make us all unique, but somehow we expect ourselves and others to be compassionate, forgiving, caring and lots of other words ending in ing, instead of the normal fallible people we truly are.
Everyone has regret at some point in their life, the secret is to look at it and wonder in silent moments, rather than try to live with it in our day to day and minute by minute lives. As the saying goes, no one is perfect.
Great write David.

[David Scott]

Thank you for reading and for returning a thoughtful comment to me. I really enjoy reading how others respond to these philosophical ramblings.

[A hare off]

I'm sorry seems to be a very casually used phrase nowadays, when like your poem expreses, mots times it is not necessary. This has such a soft feel, as if the poem is whispering to me as I read. Beautiful and truthful.

[David Scott]

I have done many things in life I did need to seek forgiveness for. I have also carried useless guilt for no purpose many years of my life. Guilt and sorrow for our actions should be reserved for the times it will empower our lives not disempower us. We can always apologize for the impact even innocent action have if we hurt others, but we need not feel apologetic to the nature of who we are when we act with all good intention. IMO... It really is a matter of integrity.
anyhoo... sorry for going on. Thank you for reading and hearing the soft tone I was conveying.

[softlyfall]

There are those whose anahata chakra is truly open, who accept and love unconditionally, forgive all, give solace and comfort and hope.
Healers.
As a Reiki master, i do understand the human need for this and work very hard to achieve some semblance. Your poem is inspiring to me. It offers so many insights.

[David Scott]

Thank you for the many levels of understanding.
Also, few understand the true implications of being open... on any level.

[...]

I was gonna go into some philosophical review...I decline this to just say, Yes, we must live in the now. You have a wonderful way with words, my friend :)

[David Scott]

You are always welcome to philosophize... 😀
Thank you for the comment Lynn.

[emmajoy]

'.. .. touched without touching .. forgave without blaming ' . That penultimate stanza overflows..

The reason or need need to share this poem is both contrition and inspiration.. and to be so moved by another person's gift of love is an emotion that just might not have happened otherwise. You've phrased so gently but honestly, skilfully.

More often or not we're harder on selves than others, guilt adds another layer to one's skin. Hurting other people is a heinous crime but once done.. is past and one can only hope that forgiveness eventually shows its face.. just as it should and can when you look in the mirror and know.. things will be alright, better.. with patience.

[David Scott]

I can only bow a nod of gratitude. Thank you for such a generous spirit in this review.

[-inactive now-]

Onward and upward ay... All we can do is try our best to be decent human beings and do our best to forgive others mistakes and learn from and forgive ourselves for our own...
Great poem :)

[David Scott]

Thank you so much for the comment Josiah. So often we carry guilt when there is nothing to feel guilty over as well. Forgiving oneself for our "imagined" offenses is often the hardest task. May depend on personality types as well.

[-inactive now-]

Yea easier for some than others