Not sure how this translates... be honest. I feel lost with my poetry of late.
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To fail, is to get up, and smile... and grow... what would we be without falling a thousand times, on our face? we would be too perfect, which is vain, and narcistic rather a few beautiful scars, and wisdom wrinkles, than a too smooth personality... and to give yourself here in this great poetic story to another by a reflection of her eyes, and open yourself to your true personality, is love, there is only love in the ending, and a great assimilation, the opposite can give to another... really honest, pure, and full of feeling my friend. You maybe not know it yet, but you rock at these ;)
- Elisa
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you dear Baroness.
I did bare my soul a little here...
You are generous with your.. read moreThank you dear Baroness.
I did bare my soul a little here...
You are generous with your kind and gentle heart in your review my friend.
11 Years Ago
So are you always! dear dear friend. I like your soul open and bare :) you're always welcome Mr. dea.. read moreSo are you always! dear dear friend. I like your soul open and bare :) you're always welcome Mr. dear Scott :)
It's beautiful and deep. We can only really see ourselves in the eyes of another. ; )
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Hey Blue?
Thank you for reading this. I do love dragon lore... I should write more about drag.. read moreHey Blue?
Thank you for reading this. I do love dragon lore... I should write more about dragons I think. They are very much like human emotion don't you think?
That's quite special , well written poem , and with feeling too :)
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you Tiger.
I try to write with feeling... Maybe we all do?
Glad you felt somethi.. read moreThank you Tiger.
I try to write with feeling... Maybe we all do?
Glad you felt something translated.
I know these accolades, how much we need to hold them up like the banners of ourselves, such that only we can see behind them. It is truly special to find someone who will love you despite the truth and the many many layers of imperfections and mistakes and inconsistencies of heart that lurk behind. So yes, this translates perfectly for me and reminds me to appreciate even more, those who love me knowing my flaws... Even though I am one who has never admitted them all to any single person in my life... If such a person can be found and opened up to, one can certainly be undone...
Translated as perfect!! I love the metaphors and fantasy imagery here. Excellent work.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you Joshua. I really had no clue how this would feel to others... It still feels a little mu.. read moreThank you Joshua. I really had no clue how this would feel to others... It still feels a little muddled to convey my thoughts. I do love dragons though...
You have been kind with your comment.
11 Years Ago
I love dragons too. You would think it would more of of a popular topic to write about but everyone .. read moreI love dragons too. You would think it would more of of a popular topic to write about but everyone has seem to take the vampire bit. I think this poem is beautiful. Thanks for adding me and I look forward to reading more of your work.
Cursed with perfection's mirror... My perfection found at last ~ reflected in the mirror of her eyes.
Your opening and closing lines frame this poem perfectly. There is no harsher critic than ourselves, and no opinion that really matters as much as the one who loves us.
I love the dragon-treasure metaphor and the images it conjures.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you Rita.
Yes, I penned the last line early on and filled in the middle...
Kinda .. read moreThank you Rita.
Yes, I penned the last line early on and filled in the middle...
Kinda like toasting the bread before building a sandwich. ;)
You are do right with your comments.
"~ She loved ~ I was undone.
Armored shell transformed to golden sensitivity,
She bathed me in the cathartic tears of my transformation.
My perfection found at last ~ reflected in the mirror of her eyes ~"
We are often our own worst critics, but if someone truly loves us....loves the good and the bad, the beauty and the ugliness....we realize we are worthwhile individuals. She say you from the inside out...and that is the way true love captures the soul. Beautifully written, David. Lydi**
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you for stopping in and reading Lydi.
This poem sort of came from thinking about how goo.. read moreThank you for stopping in and reading Lydi.
This poem sort of came from thinking about how good it felt to cry one day... in the moment, it was like finding salvation.
For a man... it can be far more than cleansing.
To feel safe enough to cry and not feel sha.. read moreFor a man... it can be far more than cleansing.
To feel safe enough to cry and not feel shame is a gift beyond measure.
I have cried before. Because I hurt, or because I was sad, or angry etc... Yet to cry because you found a place where your very being is made whole and you feel the "perfection" of the love gifted to you... that is something all together different and spiritual. I honestly can never explain it properly...
I think it is similar to how we will feel standing before the throne of God understanding His love for us. A humility without blame. A submission without guilt or weakness. A revelation of eternal love... Sorry if the religious theme offends but it is a spiritual affect I am speaking of.
Thank you again for reading and conversing Lydi.
11 Years Ago
Nothing offending in what you are saying....and thank you for explaining.
i love this...this is being found...this is showing that no matter how much we own, amass etc. we can lose it the next day...it all doesn't matter...but love does...if we can live for another...possessions don't matter...matters of the heart do.
There are so many different angle to this. I can't really think this morning so I'll just give the surface review. In the first line perfections should be changed to perfection's if you are personifying perfection. In the fourth line horded is spelled hoarded. In line eleven "a sulfurous complaints" should be "sulfurous complaints" or "a sulfurous complaint". Line 18 should probably be "Lava burning inside tender, hidden depths". I think that about wraps it up. Love the metaphor by the way.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you for your help.. Even with your thinking unclear you clearly have seen a few ways to kindl.. read moreThank you for your help.. Even with your thinking unclear you clearly have seen a few ways to kindly help me out.
I am habitually deficient with my editing. A bad habit.
It is good to get many sets of eyes and many mindsets as well.
I hope your day clears up!
Be well Kenaz,
Scott.
What a beautiful shedding of the old skin... to release the pain, only to discover her love comforting and forgiving...Now that is unconditional love!
It's blessing in disguise, all the heartbreak infused in tears....no one is perfect, my dear.
You have written a vibrant piece. Heartfelt.
" She loved ~ I was undone.
Armored shell transformed to golden sensitivity,
She bathed me in the cathartic tears of my transformation.
My perfection found at last ~ reflected in the mirror of her eyes ~"~ Poignant write!~xoxo~
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you Robbie.
I'm so happy you read this. You understand the background more than most..... read moreThank you Robbie.
I'm so happy you read this. You understand the background more than most...
Yes, it was, and is heartfelt for me.
You are a dear friend.
Much like you...
Still, I can only ever be to you what you are willing to see of me. This is true of us all.
May we learn to see the best in each other.
I am happy to be friends with anyon.. more..