Undone

I am undone…

Purpose, once retained, now evaporate.

Disassembled, I escaped my gravity,

Chilling in the Carolina blue.

 

Conditions fall fine,

When cold is almost warm,

Yet warmth has no place to lie.

My condensation is a frozen resolve.

 

The parts of me are unrecognizable.

Fingerprinted flakes rebuild my form.

Bleached of meaning I fall fresh.

Insulating my legacy.

 

Soon I will be undone once more.

Melting into the rich soil,

Evaporating away from myself,

My wonderland a lost winter.

 

Growth flowers color upon my once empty palate,

Colorless tears of lost time painted at last.

The remains of who I was drift away,

Lost in the vastness of tear salted seas…

Reviews

[Angi]

This makes me look at myself. I am stepping back and seeing my life through all of the seasons I have passed through. My seasons do not fall in a fixed order. Sometimes winter thrashes for months and months to be followed swiftly by the dog days of summer. I long for the fall through all of my days, David. Those days fall so softly on me with the falling of the leaves. Man, you have me feeling strange with this one! That is a very good thing. Angi~

[David Scott]

Thank you for the reflective review.
Your feeling about how good it feels to "fall" was a key thought.
Falling into place. Coming back together. Recollecting oneself.
I'm so honored you felt this poem.

[Rita L. Sev]

The season's cycles of undoing and redoing... we think only of death in winter, but it is needed for the Life that follows... Lovely imagery in this, David.

[David Scott]

You give me a simple explanation for my complexity of thought. It is apart of my intent to discuss the seasons, but the actuality of my expression is more about the process of redefining ourselves over and over as we grow, deminish, renew, flourish, and eventually fade...
I like you light hearted approach to life and poetry Rita.
Glad to have your thoughts today.

[Lydia Shutter]

Yes, soon snow will cover the ground and then, before you know it, the flowers will be popping up through icy ground. There is comfort in knowing the seasons will continue to change and the calendar pages will continue to turn. Time continues to continue and we must respect that. Your words are poignant and your images are lovely. I enjoyed the read. lydi**

[David Scott]

Thank you Lydi.
The poem is actually about ones' life more than the Earth's seasons.
The calendar represents much... More than days, weeks, seasons and years...

[Lydia Shutter]

How true that is, David!

[Frieda P]

This reminds me of the season, did the start of Autumn precipitate this work, when all good things must come to an end to start anew again...there's a lovely melancholy in your words David. There comes a time when we're all recognizable even to our own selves, which is the hardest part of all, sounds like someone starting over and asking for a clean slate...protecting their memory from further abasement....whatever it actually means, it's written poignantly and with much care, beautifully done!

The parts of me are unrecognizable.
Fingerprinted flakes rebuild my form.
Bleached of meaning I fall fresh.
Insulating my legacy.

[David Scott]

We see each other clearly dear friend...
I like the stanza you picked out. It is a motivating theme for me. My legacy... What will it be? What have I already written into my book? How will it read in the end?
Thank you for your thoughts here. The poem was a heart cry for me this week.

[Frieda P]

That's because we're not married, poetry might just be the answer to marital bliss. ;-)

read moreThat's because we're not married, poetry might just be the answer to marital bliss. ;-)

Seriously, I love this one, I hope your heart feels better after this cathartic masterpiece, it's my favorite of yours. xo

[David Scott]

Thank you again. Yes, it was a cleansing.
I am having trouble on your page because of my I phone jamming with the active features..
I'll stop by when I'm plugged in at my desk top...

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Dear Scott, this saddens me as I envision the vast sea of tear you have depicted...

When you write like this it truly takes me to the depths of your soul... I don't know this devastation, yet you paint the abstract so clearly...

Beautifully penned, my dear friend!~xoxo~

[David Scott]

Thank you for the heartfelt review.
Do not be sad however... It is falling that brings the wholeness of the blanketing of the snow and the gentle bathing in the warm summer sea...
Sometimes to be made whole we go through a cleansing process and nothing is more fresh and pure as the morning snow...

[Robbie~xoxo~]

I feel better now that you've explained it to me that way... Still, your melancholy write is endearing and touches my soul..~xoxo~

[David Scott]

Ha... Yes, I had a rough week. Some things I have no control over...
The Vodka helped last night. ;)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

I know...it does help... it's good to express yourself. XX

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I think you can take many things from the poem... mostly for me I see someone who has troubles fitting in no matter how are they try... so many excellent metaphoric references.

[David Scott]

Ha... Story of my life Cowboy! Thank you for reading this poem and leaving your thoughts.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

My pleasure.

[shallimarRose]

David this is a stunning peace.. I am almost at a loss for words.. there are so many wonderful thought provoking lines..
"Disassembled, I escaped my gravity"
"My condensation is a frozen resolve"
"Fingerprinted flakes rebuild my form."
"Colorless tears of lost time painted at last.

While what remains of who I was drift away,"

'Im not all together sure what I am reading .. It almost sounds like a erotic or perhaps loneliness..maybe letting go of the past.. For me I feel as if I have just heard the last cries of a forgotten snowman as he is melting away until there is nothing left but salted tears in a puddle of forgotten time.. Excellent poem.. xo shallimarRose

[David Scott]

Thank you Rose. I like your "snowman" analogy.
I'm sorry if you felt the meaning was too obscure. I think you did understand much of what my intention was, but I actually like to leave some open space in the room for the reader to unpack a little bit of their luggage as well...
Thank you again for your kind words.

[shallimarRose]

loved it.. not so much obscure as open to interpretation..and i was seeing so many ways to interpret as I read.. lol

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i see someone comparing himself to the waning summer...by flowers will wilt, my trees will turn..

and my winter will be upon me...nice analogy to losing a part of ourself...what we can never get back.

second line, did you mean "evaporates"? and next to last line "drifts"?

really nice poem, David...

felt the warmth and the cold...the leaving of one, the impending arrival of the other...life is like that.

[David Scott]

Thank you for reading. I put a great deal of meaning in this poem. A big part of what I wanted to say is how I feel a segmented as each snow flake or rain drop that is a part of the storm...
I meant to use the noun "evaporate" not the verb. Maybe a poor choice.
The last I meant to say "While remains ...drift..."
Thank you for your help.
I will edit when at the desk again. (on my phone now)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sorry, David...i see that now with "evaporate" and that is a nice image.

[David Scott]

No problem Jacob. I think at first glance mist readers will think the same thing you did. It might be to much of a trip up...? I enjoy constructive feedback. Any time friend. You will not offend me.

[Horizon K.]

Ah, our conversation continues, my ever changing, colorless, undefinable, phoenix friend... This vividly painted piece feels like the passage of seasons... the dissipation of each, fall, winter, spring... only a never before known iteration with each phase. What pieces will be lost, what new will grow in the now empty space? But though there are tears shed, there is a peace in this, an acceptance, an ease to this letting go of the past self without knowing what the next season will be... not a hysteria... is it so...? Or maybe the hysteria has passed in the step before this moment... I am ever so curious...

[David Scott]

Indeed Horizon. The hysteria is gone... The is nothingness. Out of this desolation a reformation of character and meaning.
Thank you for your engaging commentary. Continue we shall. :)

[Tom]

This poem makes me think of a person who has just come to the realization, that after a loyal work ethic for many years with a firm, company or whatever institute, they are either sacked, made redundant or their employer has been liquidated and reality of time remaining on top of the employment scrap heap does not auger well, as the wheels of the proverbial wagon become undone !

Splendid poem, even if I have translated its meaning all wrong ?

[David Scott]

I believe this poem could be related to the theme you speak of well. It is your personal template that gives you your perception of poetry.
My thoughts were more philosophical about the totality of life and the relationships we have with loved ones in many venues...
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts Tom!

[Tom]

Yes I can also see that as well, though as you say its whatever spin the reader chooses to put on it themselves, it's up to them, that's the beauty of poetry I suppose !