Undone

I am undone…

Purpose, once retained, now evaporate.

Disassembled, I escaped my gravity,

Chilling in the Carolina blue.

 

Conditions fall fine,

When cold is almost warm,

Yet warmth has no place to lie.

My condensation is a frozen resolve.

 

The parts of me are unrecognizable.

Fingerprinted flakes rebuild my form.

Bleached of meaning I fall fresh.

Insulating my legacy.

 

Soon I will be undone once more.

Melting into the rich soil,

Evaporating away from myself,

My wonderland a lost winter.

 

Growth flowers color upon my once empty palate,

Colorless tears of lost time painted at last.

The remains of who I was drift away,

Lost in the vastness of tear salted seas…

Reviews

[...]

I read this as your book of life. Ever changing, being part of it all...co-author, director, actor, audience...
The emotions of living through different phases of yourself (ourselves). I love this seasonal vision of the human condition, indeed, "undone"...forever :)

[David Scott]

There is a gift, a beauty to being "undone". I'm not sure I ever appreciated it before I wrote this. I always just felt the pain.
Thank you for seeing the beauty here. Thank you for seeing the hope.
I appreciated the comment.

[Alisa Js]

Aloha,

This one speaks to me of depression and sadness....lingering, hauntingly so...

Well done, you!

Alisa ;-)

[David Scott]

Well howdy do from North Carolina, ;)
I was extremely depressed when I wrote this... Thankfully I am better equipped no to handle such emotions. Still, I understand depression from a medical perspective and from literary/romantic perspective. It is a powerful state of mind and can produce vast inspirations for emotional expressions... It can destroy lives as well... Anyhow, I think you understood well the poetry.
Thank you for your time and review.
Yall come back now, ya hear? or Aloha...

[Alisa Js]

Hello again,

Will do and Mahalo (Hawaiian for Thank you)

Alisa💫

[Ghost of Jupiter]

Mmm, deep words, they resonate through me today... Each line speaking to me about the unraveling of the past, yet hoping for a beginning with purpose anew. At least this is what stands out in my heart as I read... Such a beautiful poem...

"Growth flowers color upon my once empty palate,

Colorless tears of lost time painted at last.

The remains of who I was drift away,

Lost in the vastness of tear salted seas…"

Absolutely gorgeous, I am still staggering around lost in those delicate words...

[David Scott]

Thank you for seeing my heart here. Yes, you have seen more than most by your review...
No need to stagger. :) I invite you to float like I do in your kind words.

[Ghost of Jupiter]

Ah, thank you, I feel a bit weighed down of late, so I could use a nice float..lol ;)

[David Scott]

I'm sorry you feel a heavy heart. I should not feature such a despondent write even though it ends with hope.
You have a light in your heart. I see it even in these few words today. Yes, float above the darkness even as it tries to surround you and fix your eyes on the light above. Soon you will realize the dark waters are full of the light you see as well...
Courage dear friend.
Thank you again for lifting my heart today.

[Ruth]

There are always so many elements to your superb writing. Not only the waterfall of emotional release but the essence of death...metaphorically, real and when all is shed, real death, such release is a sacrificial offering unto fate to understand the self, you are a genius x

[David Scott]

Thank you dear Poppy. You have been generous to me with your words today. I am blessed to have your thoughts. Thank you for your consideration of time and energy today.

[Ruth]

Always my pleasure hon! x

[justjenn_2u]

Emotions of inner feelings are well implied here. "Bleached from meaning I fall fresh". This is a unique line that stuck out to me in this piece. It leaves my mind to wonder which is exactly what a real poem should do. Awesome. Write on.

[David Scott]

Oh... I like how you interpreted this line. This is often how I approach poetry when I am composing it. I think of a concept then I let the analogy or metaphors expand my own understanding of the emotion I am trying to understand and translate. We must talk more on this subject!
Thank you very much for the read and review.

[justjenn_2u]

You did well!!!

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A piece that circles most emotion and dare I say it, thought for reason, well done, good read.

[David Scott]

Ha... "thought for reason"... I like that.
Thank you for the feedback and for reading Tom.

[Joiedevivre]

ah, this touches my soul, for i know these feelings well. I wrote a poem today along these lines, but slightly darker. I really like the subtle blend of science into your poetry, it gives it a unique edge and here, in this poem, i feel the stirrings of a resurrection coming on.

[David Scott]

Thank you Joie.
Yes, this poem was a moment of tearful joy... Nothing dark here, only acceptance and hope in the fertility of loss.

I tried to write a few poems early on here a couple years ago, but nobody seemed to enjoy the work it took to "figure out" what I was saying... ha. I'm learning. :)

[Joiedevivre]

don't simplify your poems so that everyone can understand, i find intricacy makes for the best poetry and you certainly have that gift.

[Sami Khalil]

When we are undone , we tear up , feel like dirt , melt like snow in any heat , shiver in the coldest temps, drift away in any current , evaporate like salt but then to come back with the rain back to our origins...A splendid poem...:)

[David Scott]

Thank you for your thoughts Sami. You do understand me here.

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. Good to know ...You are welcome...:)

[Heather]

I love the eloquence and wording of this poem. I read it twice, once in my mind, once upon my tongue...I enjoyed it, because I could relate to this piece at different moments in my life.

[David Scott]

Thank you Heather. I have not read this one out load yet... I'll give it a try. ;)
Yes, in honesty, this is a cycle of life for all of us...