Monday 6 AM

Watching the sunrise on the Edge of existence. Occam's razor is Pluralitas non est ponenda sine neccesitate "Plurality should not be posited without necessity. In other words, keep it simple stupid.

There is consistency on the edge of all things.

The razor Occam gave us causes my eyes to entwine

With the single blade of grass that I am.

With my dirty Walt Whitman beard covered in crumbs

And my slouchy Wrightsville Beach hat

I greet the day on the periphery of people

Alone with my own odors

Connected by my

Sheer force of will.

 

Beneath the sunrise is the dread of days

Combined with the twirling strands of kudzu

The profanity of birds dots the lightening air

And a mist profoundly stammers against the light

I see toads in the road 

There for no other reason than

They have nowhere

else to go.

 

In the dusk light flower’s sleep the sleep of the innocent

And skunks musk up the earth to a pungent dance

That permeates the sinuses and tastes like survival.

And what this has to do with anything

Is not apparent in the moment

Just that it is beautiful

With no need to be so

And that it is

Profoundly ignored.

 

If I close my eyes I can remember significance.

I can see responsibility as it shimmers with importance

And if I look closer I see irrelevance creeping in

To find another victim that is lost in thought.

You may find me sitting on the side of the road

My bandages bloody from the battle.

Take pity, put me on your beast of burden

Bring oil and wine.

Let us heal together.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Jason Henry]

masterpiece...what else can i say

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Drifting Blue,

To me, this poem is a mix of brilliance and perplexity. Some of the lines are tremendously compelling and the thoughts extremely existential, for example "I see toads in the road / There for no other reason than / They have nowhere / else to go." Similarly in the third stanza, the discussion of the skunk and that any meaning to the skunk's existence "Is not apparent in the moment" and it is "Profoundly ignored", are vivid insights into the nature of existence and that existence and life simply are. The entire tone of the poem is wonderful and brings the reader into a introspective mood with a cosmic point of view. So bravo on all of that.

But I see weak points as well. This is not to say that the author doesn't have very good reasons behind his words, just that these reasons are not apparent to me and probably will not be apparent to other readers as well. To me weak points include the opening sentence: "There is consistency on the edge of all things." Now this statement again seems of cosmic proportion. And I'm sort of expecting an expansion of this idea. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't feel I get this from what follows. It may be that I'm very particular about my needs for an explanation, but the following lines regarding Occam's Razor seem to go off in a different direction. It also may be that it seems that way to me since I am well versed in Bayesian statistics, and hence somewhat of an expert on the practical use of Occam's Razor to build effective models of reality. And here the meaning of Occam's Razor is very far away from any Zen sort of oneness of the Universe. Occam's Razor is a statement regarding information theory and probability densities. In fact, if understood thoroughly, Occam's Razor can be seen to be a tautological statement and of really no practical worth. And I must appologize, that is simply a long-winded way of saying the I'm left wondering just what "There is consistency on the edge of all things" really means, and being the openning statement of the poem, this is clearly an important thing to understand.

The final stanza also seems at odds with itself and hence weak. Perhaps being at odds with itself is the point, however, as may be suggested by the very last set of lines. If this is the point, though, I think it would be beneficial the make that point crystal clear. I'm sure it could be done concisely in a few words. Without this the stanza seems self-contradictory, with responsibility being of obvious importance, but with doubts of "irrelevance creeping in".

All in all, this poem is haunting and a very nice write. With a few clarifications in the text I think this can be an outstanding poem.

Highest regards,

Rick

[wizthom]

this remains me of a homeless man wakening from his den ,
as the sun hurts his eyes he adjust to the sounds of life , birds profanity ,
chatter thats not singing
fills the air that phase was a master stroke of imagination,
as the homeless person sits on a a bench table curb just to gather his wits ,he then realized like the birds he's living a life filled with places and things but no place to go,as he thinks back upon the time when in life he had fire.he was somebody ,,great visual scenes here,,peace wizthom

[C. Harter Amos]

Thank you, BB, for the bloody bandages of your life in the name of peace and goodness, for your talents, and for this particular piece. It's been a while since I've slowed down and enjoyed the feeling of being a part of things on a basic level: a blade of grass among blades of grass. I could feel myself relaxing as I read. You do us a favor with the beautiful images that remind us to shave away the excess, the redundant, the ambiguous. K.I.S.S. and smell the roses, or the skunk, or our own odors. Beautifully written and made to relax the overworked mind. Sometimes I forget to choose to step away, simplify, and look at the wonders all around. Your phrases like "connected by my sheer force of will", "beneath the sunrise is the dread of day", odors that "taste like survival", "what this has to do with anything isn't apparent in the moment just that it is beautiful with no need to be so and is profoundly ignored", and the whole last stanza, are so open and honest, original, basic, genius...

[Fran Marie]

And what this has to do with anything
Is not apparent in the moment
Just that it is beautiful
With no need to be so
And that it is
Profoundly ignored.

A most beautiful descriptive piece ~ enjoying the overlooked and ignored~

holding the moment divine in the stillness of the dawn~Well DonE!~Fran Marie

[Matio]

very interesting, I will try to see into it more, when I'll be in mood:)

[poddar kushal]

it is great. fresh. uite a magical journey

[Dizzy-Izzy]

This is really good but, you don't need me to tell you that. If I had "oil and wine" I would most certainly share them with you but, I have nothing. I am the disheveled woman just up the road holding a sign....
"will work for prozac." Can't believe I said that, can't believe I am about to post it... Looking forward to reading more from you.

Kristina

[James K. Blaylock]

Wow, I truly loved this magical piece! Thank you so much for sharing it.

jkb

[Emily B]

I saw skunks dancing on the side of the road this morning on my way to work. Made me wonder a little at 4 am on Monday morning . . .

I'm glad you wrote this. I'm glad you shared it. It was just the sort of work I needed--today.