God in the Details

Megalomaniacal. Don't you just love the sound of that?

 

What’s on the palette

Is the same as on canvas

The art is the medium

The subject the verb

The reason to get up in the morning.

 

I’ve got a scar

That runs up my gut

A jagged jigsaw punched stencil

Of a road made flesh

 

A sign of a surgery that

Left me breathless, wounded

Healing slow, healing partially

Leaving me forever marked

Like Cain.

 

What is drawn in life

Cannot be duplicated

Only imitated for after all

We aren’t God.

We are gunslingers drawing pictures

Shooting our six guns in the air, hoping to hit cloud.

 

Long before scars and art

Before the sidewalk was crowded with cigarette butts

Before the air in the lungs turned black

Before we had to be soldiers

Before the cork was out of the bottle

Before the wine turned to vinegar

Before the afternoon became evening

The first day

 

There was blank canvas

Pencil in hand, a line is drawn

God makes the sketch and breathes on it

And nothing is ever the same.

 

Nothing is ever the same.

Reviews

[Carole]

Megalomaniacal! Definitely a word I have never heard of. You have painted a powerful picture here, DB! Definitely well done! carole

[James K. Blaylock]

Man, I really loved this piece, it truly speaks volumes... Great title as well.

jkb

[R J Askew]

I like this one. I can hear it being read quite clearly. Especially the exhasperation in the last couple of lines. What if God, is, ahem, not exactly the top apprentice in the workshop and he has been going around screwing up? I mean we are gods of creation in our own little ways splashing stuff around. What if life is a failed poem?

[JohnL]

I do like the style of your writing. Some of your metaphor I find somewhat obscure and remind myself to check that metaphor is really good before using it. If your first one is good, then use some more. I cannot for instance ally subject (normally a noun, surely) with verb (v.1). v v. 2 & 3 are fine, and we are introduced to the genesis with Cain, the entry into the world of murder and the son of Adam, concieved in sin. You take us back to Eden with some excellent metaphor for going back in time - understandable to us all, reducing scale into 'our world terms'. Again we come to artistic metaphor - the blank canvas, the drawn line by the pencil of creation - great stuff! Your repeated last line sums up with great power.
I may be missing something but I am not happy with the six-guns fired at the sky. I don''t really see the relevance and would have preferred to retain a more artistic metaphor here:
ie 'Pilots merely scatching the (surface/canvas/picture) of the heavens with our con trails' That's not serious - just off the top of my head on the spur of the moment but should give the idea of what I want to say. I really like this poem and feel it is well worth thinking some more about it. Actually, it is backed by some very profound thought.
And of course, I may be talking rubbish and have grasped the wrong end of the stick but it's done with best intent.
Kind regards, John

[Blade & Blood (The ..]

Wow, this is beautiful. Very insightful and incredibly deep, but that's already a given. ;)

I truly agree with the message in this-- or at least I'm assuming the message is "God is the Artist".... if I'm wrong, please correct me. Anyways, I've always imagined God as being an artist, a writer, even a scientist. He created all and even if he may not be proud of His work completely, He still loves His creations. Unfortunately, we do something to screw it up. :P

Well, enough of my preaching. This was an excellent poem and I'm glad you posted it. I especially loved the third and fifth stanzas; gotta love references to biblical stories and modern issues, and all in the same poem! I have to say, it had everything! ^^

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood

[Emily Rose]

Well done - very profound. It reminded me of something I heard somewhere about how God's pencil has no eraser. Your imagery is well-executed and give the poem a life of its own, which I'm sure was your goal. I really like the idea of the scar and the comparison to Cain - it's very evocative and clever.

My only critique is that the transition from the personal in third stanza to the impersonal in the fourth seems a little abrupt and threw me off-track. That could just be me being crazy, though. Great job!

[Cold Coffee Magazine]

Deep deep deep. I love the insights about divinity. Thank you for bringing this piece to my attention.

Dave

[Jenny Davis]

This piece blew me away...I love your philosophy in this...as I agree...strong, beautifully written piece :)

[W.k.kortas]

Well, megalomania might be a wee bit strong....but there are some interesting comparisons of the differing levels of creation, and the notion that, to be frank, you have to see yourself as something above the norm (in fact, it probably doesn't hurt to have a Barry Bonds-esque ego) to put your writing out there and say "Hey, look at this!" The use of repetition, and the sermon-like or nearly responsorial pacing of the piece, works nicely with the Biblical allusions. Well-expressed, finely-crafted work.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I really like the picture you paint here, good job.