Cry

I used to smile hugely at the statues infront of me,
A smile that used to hold happiness,
Perfection,
and love,
and I didn't care,
That the statues weren't alive, that they didn't listen nor did they speak,
I only ever saw their backs toward me,
They were always too important for me anyway,
I liked the company at first,
It was better then I had ever known.
It's different now.
I feel more alone,
then I ever did on my own,
I look in the broken glass,
Shattered,
Blood stained.
I can see the pain in my eyes.
Why can't they?
Or may they see it and not tend my scars,
When darkness may arrive,
I will close my eyes,
To take away the pain of my loneliness.
All Attention turned toward me,
And that smile of agony,
That ONE fake smile,
Is never seen in the world I've created.
I can use my loved ones,
Make them treat me the way I had always dreamt of,
Munipulate feelings,
And create relationships.
It's truly sick minded.
It was only safe escape route which I had thought would be the least likely to cause ones self pain,
But now,
I realize that the feeling of disappointment when the day is done,
Is far more harmful then any blade.
There have been many statues that I have tried to reach out toward,
They say things will change,
I still see no difference in effort.
They don't know how much I can hurt,
How hard it is for me to hold on to light.
How hard it is for me to really open up to the world with nothing to lose.
But, there are people,
People that I hold on to so closely,
So carefully,
That I'm afraid that within seconds of an embrace,
They will perish,
Then,
I will be nothing.

Author's Note

Do your worst >:D