Just One More Minute

A Story by Charlie Duhad

It was just an average day. She was an average girl. Nothing special about her, even to this day there’s nothing that makes my eyes pop out of my head when I see her, and yet there was something about her. She was short, about 5’ 4”, long, curly, black hair. The athletic type. Underdeveloped, and yet womanly. Her presence did not reek of pheromones, nor did we have much chemistry between us, and yet the thought of her instilled some emotion within my own self that caused me to babble uncontrollably. As long ago as this was, it still seems relevant to me today.

As I said before, it was an average day. Tenth grade at my high school, just like any other day. The sun was out, leaves were blowing through the air, it wasn’t really cold, and yet it wasn’t really warm, the temperature was nice. It was neutral. I remember that day perfectly. I didn’t have my license yet, so I had to walk to school. Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, all the way to school. There was nothing particular on my mind that morning, not that I can remember, but I do remember enjoying life at the time. No worries, no homework, no enemies. The only demons I had were within my own head, never to be released. As I walked past the football stadium it reminded me of the game that had happened only days before. We won, but at what cost? I wasn’t there. I could hear the crowds yelling and screaming as the players made their way to the touchdown, I could hear the fireworks at halftime. But all I could feel when I heard the chanting crowds and booming noises was my sheer loneliness and need for something more than myself. I had no interest in anyone, but human nature always runs its own course.

Once more, it was an average day. I finally made it to school, and I heard the first bell ring. I decided there was no time for conversing with anyone so I head straight to class, as always. On my way, that’s when I saw her. She came bouncing around the corner, chipper and happy, talking with one of her friends. As she made her way up the stairs, she looked to the side, as if expecting someone to be there, and she saw me. If I was the one she was looking for, I wouldn’t have been able to tell, but she smiled and waved at me, and I reciprocated the actions. I kept walking to my class, and that was that.

And the bell rang again, and I left for lunch. Not a minute into my walk I was ambushed by her. I saw her hair out of the corner of my eye, and the next thing I knew she was in front of me. She told me to follow her, and I did, transfixed by the moving beast that was her hair. Up, down, left, right, it bounced every which way. But I digress. We got to a bench and she sat me down. For what reason, I don’t know, even to this day, but this is what she did. She told me she had a conversation with one of her friends and she needed to settle an argument. I agreed to comply with her disagreement and asked her what she needed. It was at that moment that her entire demeanor changed. She got rather serious, took a deep breath, and looked up at me.

The conversation lasted only a minute, and yet it echoed out in my head for hours, days, weeks, years, for an eternity. “Ok, so obviously, I have a question for you,” She remarked at me, staring with an empty face waiting for my response.

“And what would that question be?” I asked, not expecting any particular question. Most likely something about the homework in this class, or how hard a test was in that class.

“Have you ever kissed a girl?” She asked, still with that same blank stare.

“Are you trying to make me feel stupid?” I asked, not wanting to give away my answer. All of my pride was put into knowing that I could keep this secret and maintain a rather ok reputation around the school. The fact that I was obviously the only one who could never quite make it work would destroy any self respect I have and it would destroy others respect for me. I was alone, and in my seclusion I was forced to remain secretive. I could not just go out and say it.

“I haven’t” she said, staring at the ground, almost in dismay. That one statement, although I didn’t know at the time, would haunt my conscience for years to come.

“I-I-I.” I tried to say something. But words wouldn’t form within the being that was my mouth. It refused to work. I wanted to say something, anything, that could relate her to me, or make her feel better. Her face looked as though it wanted to cry, and yet her eyes kept the same blank stare. I sat there, choking on my own tongue, dumbstruck. My will to speak had left me, and any knowledge I could have had of seeing myself through the situation had died.

But then, the bell rang, and she got up to go class. The conversation I had just had with her seemed to be a little strange considering her attitude towards her friends and the disagreement they had. It was strange that she was acting so strange, but I didn’t have a chance to say anything about it. I reached out my hand to stop her, to say something, but my mind would not let me. Watching her go, all I could think about is that I was not alone. But not only that, but why she would bring this up with me, and why I couldn’t just have one more minute.

A year later. Or a year and half, or a year and two months, it doesn’t matter to me. Time doesn’t ever really have a meaning in the entity that is my thoughts.

I don’t want to say this, but it wasn’t an average day. It wasn’t raining, snowing, hailing, or anything of that nature. But it was extraordinary. The night before was cool, nice, and forgiving. But with the morning came an ominous wind, one that blew through the window and rustled the papers from my desk. As I got out of bed I could no longer feel my toes. The window had brought in wind so cold it had the power to freeze hell over.

As I walked out to my car to start my school day, after I had finished getting ready, it wasn’t as cold, but there was definitely still wind. On getting into the car, I shook it off as I continued on my way to school.

The ride was nothing special. As I walked into the school yard, once more the bell rang and I was forced to start my day without any real human interaction. On my way to class, there she was once more. Walking down the stairs. She peered over the handrail and saw me, and gave a courteous wave. I smile back and waved. As soon as she looked away, I felt the wind over my shoulder and shuddered. Something about that whole day just made my hairs stand on their ends. It was at this moment that I realized that I needed to go up the stairs. I turned around and proceeded up them, just as I passed her. I looked up and smiled, but she was deep in conversation with another person.

I passed her, not thinking anything of it, but I caught just a few words of what she was saying to the other person. “So I found out he likes me, but he can’t…” And then it trailed off.

This was the one girl I had ever had anything in common with, and I was going to lose that connection. I could never quite make it work, and yet everyone else seemed to be able to. My life was based off of the one line that had been said to me. I haven’t. It repeated itself over and over within my mind, no longer able to base itself within the context of the situation. Every decision I had made about a relationship or a girl before was based off the line that meant that I was not alone in the universe. Someone similar to me happened to have the same outcome as me. And I could never quite let that go. The meaning of her moving on while I was left alone to wallow in my own sadness was numbing to say the least.

Everything seemed to be changing for everyone. And yet, I feel the same.