Desperation

Some say that there is beauty in desperation.  Not I.  I believe that in desperation, there is an ugliness so profound that people call it beautiful because they know no other words to describe it.

 

Such is the nature of the world.  If we do not understand something, it must be because it is so special, so above us, that is it good.  Beautiful.  Powerful.  Omnipotent, even.  Omniscient - godlike.  Perhaps it is even a god.  The Greeks did not understand the sun, so they had a god carry it across the sky - beautiful.  Poetic.  False.

 

Something, the unknown does frighten us.  Our fear leads us to hatred, our hatred to war.  But this is when the Other is separate from ourselves, distinct.  Emotion is not separate.  Everyone has felt desperation, so we cannot condemn it lest we condemn ourselves.  No… we are forced to admire it.  We imagine it drives us to do great things.  “I don’t think human beings learn anything without desperation.  Desperation is a necessary ingredient to learning anything or creating anything.”  Jim Carrey.  “Desperation is the raw material of drastic change.”  William S. Burroughs.  “A dog in desperation will leap over a wall.”  Chinese proverb.

 

If any of these people knew true desperation, they would not condone it.

 

I’ve felt desperation, and done stupid things because of it.  I’ve taken pills, I’ve carved myself up,  I’ve thrown myself at every vice out of desperation.  It is the destroyer of worlds, not its creator.  And people who have not felt it do not understand.  It is not beautiful in any way.  It is ugliness at its greatest - desperation drives the cruelest acts of human history.  It kills.  It burns.  It ravages.  It rapes, it pillages, it steals, it murders, it starves, it threatens and claws and maims.  Is it beautiful for a woman to be left disfigured, physically and emotionally?  Is it beautiful for a child to be put to death for stealing food to eat?  For a man to have blood on his hands that is not his?

 

This is the true face of desperation.  It is many things: pain, suffering, death.  “Beautiful” is what it is not.

Author's Note

Picture: http://alex-iron.deviantart.com/art/Desperation-in-the-morning-2356577

Reviews

[Su' Nacnetaf]

Wow, just wow, this psychological rant was, o... it IS awesome, I love this kind of writings, you've written this with such a passion (well, I read out loud always, and as I read, I felt passion flowing within your words) that it totally blows out my mind. I think it is also because I feel the same way about desperation as you do in this writing. Great writing.

[.]

"I’ve taken pills, I’ve carved myself up, I’ve thrown myself at every vice out of desperation. It is the destroyer of worlds, not its creator."
...this is a great write-love it!!!

james:-)

[clemon73]

This is a fantastic piece, very insightful. I love your passion. Great job.

[Antonio Valentino]

I'm going to hold on to this one so I can chew on it a little more slowly and get every crumb of reason out of it. This was very good poetess. I, we all, need to read and take in, understanding like this.

Thanks much for sharing such a poignant belief with us, it was really worth the effort you put into it.

Happy Satday
Antonio

[JustWantLove]

Extremely deep; with parallel understanding, I agree. Real desperation is the naked existence of oneself, blanketed with shelter of only the most horrid means; it is the force unlike passion, which drives us uncontrollably into hell, as we know it. I concur. Great work!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are correct. Desperation lead to more trouble. Your description and detail in your words was very good. So many powerful and true statements in this poem. I would want to read again. A outstanding poem.
Coyote