Rainstorm Part II

I really liked the first one, and I couldn't help but feel that it was incomplete, so I continued it.

 

Tomorrow, she would give in

To her abominations.

 

Tomorrow, but not tonight;

Not as the rain

Continued to fall

            Gracefully

            Empathetically

            Benevolently.

She began to spin –

To imitate the

Swirling spiral

Her emotions had become –

And the rain seemed

To follow this pattern –

This spinning action

Across her field

Of vision –

As the thunder

Clapped around her,

And the lightening

Struck the ground –

Including the metal poles

Stuck into the street.

 

She watched as the pole

On the corner was hit

            Once – a beautiful, unexpected event

            Twice – the repetition did not

                        Lose any of its loveliness

And she longed only for

The continuation

Of this dance

Of lights.

Caught in the splendor,

She only wanted to

Touch the true beauty

Of this illumination

Of the sky –

Just to feel the

Power and the glory

Once in her lifetime.

The lightening

Whirled around her

            Calling to her heart

            Reaching out to her soul

            Driving her with its emotion

And the thunder

Egged her on

With its wondrous,

Clapping bangs.

 

Her hand grazed

The cold metal –

The lightening-graced metal –

And the third light

Stuck down from

The sky,

Filling her with

Every emotion

Ever felt.

 

 

 

Author's Note

I like the original by itself, but I got this into my head and decided to go ahead and post it. Do you think it is better just as one poem, or do you like the poem story?

Reviews

[poetsblade]

Powerful...good sence of motion...It pulls you with it...I love it!

[justink :):)]

well me i like the poem story but i realy like it eather way great rhythm...................



justintime

[poetsblade]

It has great moments of rhythm.....but at the very beginning and perhaps at the end there is this feel ing of giving up....however not knowing the story behind it I can't judge that....but strong emotion is felt and that makes for good poetry.

[Andromeda]

ooooooooh, definitely love poem stories! moy fantastico!