Run On Sentences

Run On Sentences

A Poem by Lauren
"

My mouth has a way of saying nothing and everything all at once.

"
And suddenly:
I can’t feel anything but dread and there are shards of glass in my mouth where teeth should be and a sinking heart in a place that used to beat with so much life and I know it is nothing but I feel like the world is going to shatter and I am going to laugh in the midst of it all as I tell myself: one more day, only one more day will I allow myself to feel this way.

© 2014 Lauren


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Reviews

Great job! I could visualize everything in the poem and feel the emotion packed into it! Keep up the great work!

Posted 9 Years Ago


You create places and situation. I could feel the human condition and the want to escape what is coming. I liked how you used the words. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lauren

9 Years Ago

sorry about the Late reply, but thank you!
Coyote Poetry

9 Years Ago

You are welcome.
Wow...pretty deep.
"...shards of glass in my mouth where teeth should be" makes me want to probe more into what might have just happened...
I like it:)

Posted 9 Years Ago


Lauren

9 Years Ago

Thank you so much!
hey there! great job! i love your choice of words and the way you are able to convey the message. Right, tomorrow, you should start anew! :-)

Posted 9 Years Ago


Lauren

9 Years Ago

Thank you very much!
The whole, "I will start tomorrow" thing. Nicely done. Good job.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Lauren

9 Years Ago

Thank you :)
Oh wow, this is an amazing piece. You can really feel what the character is feeling. Brilliantly well described. :-)

Kaze~

Posted 9 Years Ago


Lauren

9 Years Ago

Thank you!! xxx :)
I'm speechless...beautifully done - wow! Great use of imagery in this, from the shards of glass as teeth. Hard to find a lot of poems that give so much imagery as you did. I applaud you, near perfect poem, loved it! Is this continuing from something?

Posted 9 Years Ago


Lauren

9 Years Ago

Thank you!
And no, I was actually just awake by myself at like 3 am at my friend's house one n.. read more
Cameron Griffith

9 Years Ago

Now you know when to write your next one ;) Ha, but really good!
that was great!!! as a reader i can feel what the character is going through :) great job :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


Lauren

9 Years Ago

Thanks so much :)
Justin

9 Years Ago

your welcome, keep it up :)

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352 Views
8 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on December 7, 2014
Last Updated on December 7, 2014
Tags: life, love, sadness, depression

Author

Lauren
Lauren

About
Hi, I'm Lauren! I'm 17 and I've been on this website for 2 years. If you've got any questions feel free to ask - I try to be an open book. Feel free to send me a friend request or Read Requests. I .. more..

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