Tears of the Huntress

If only she had missed but once.

With her divine bow she fired

silver arrows that never once

missed their target, but

When the huntress of the moon

gazes upon his grave in the sky,
pleasant dreams rewind the fateful pull;

moonbeam blade stilled, in time.

 

For only in wishes does a lover’s life

still burn the only fire she the light-bringer

had ever known

Now, man lies upon the grasslands

watching the midnight heavens

to catch the glimpse of celestial tears,

strung loose across the void.

If only, if only,

If only she had missed.

Reviews

[MOON]

Lovely descriptive write... Oh if she missed..

[TheRaven]

If she missed, indeed! Thank you for your words!

[payalspeaks]

wow this is truly beautiful

[TheRaven]

Thank you for your kind words!

[Ghost]

Beautiful writing. I like the way you indulge people in your writing.

[TheRaven]

I'm a sprint into the water type, so it makes sense that I like to immerse as I enjoy being immersed :) Thank you for your words!

[Warrior]

Great story telling. This did justice in the realm of getting the message across. Great message. There's lot of times where a story can have a great message to aim for, and have a lot of under lining things but then no one gets it, and if no one gets it, then the point has failed. But in my opinion this did well to get the message across. You made it clear, which is why I think it's good. Keep up the good work. What was also great was that I could imagine the story as I read it, and that is also a strong point of stories. The ability to have the reader imagine it because after all we're reading not watching it, but it was as if I was there as I read this, and that is great. Great visuals and great story telling. It had plot and substance. When you add substance to writing it gets that much better. It gets the reader hooked on it and make them feel as if they are part of it. As long as their is that emotional connection between the reader and the story then it's good. The connection you were able to established in the writing gives the reader a sense of comfortably that they are in tune with the writing. So that way when the writing is over, the reader wants more, and wishes it didn't end. I feel the same way when I watched a movie or tv series that I get so attached to, I never want it to end. And for this writing, I didn't want it to end. You had me hooked, and I am sure everyone else who read it was hooked as well. That is good, that is what you want for people to keep wanting more. The way you put the story together makes me feel like my life is different for that moment in which I read your story. I love it, and it was beautiful. Just keep posting stories like this, and you'll have a good following.

[TheRaven]

Whew, thank you for this sizable review! I really appreciate you taking the time to look at it the way you have. And, of course, I'm overjoyed that you loved this the way you did!

[emmajoy]

If only, indeed! Seems that here you've recreated a myth... maybe created one so beautiful, artists will colour their canvasses and people will think oh so carefully about your writing.

There's true longing in those last two lines...

[TheRaven]

I'm glad it had the effect on you I wanted it to have. I enjoyed your review quite a bit!

[Patricia Stephmore]

Beautiful poem .......:-)

[TheRaven]

Thank you very much! I appreciate the words.

[Bacchus]

You and your tragedies... More when I have a bigger screen.

[TheRaven]

One of these days I'll do a light hearted fun poem, promise!

Maybe.

It'll probably end in tragedy. "Everyone died." LOL.

[Bacchus]

I really like this one.
A lot. Great story then we lay back to try and see it in the sky. read moreI really like this one.
A lot. Great story then we lay back to try and see it in the sky.
I think that's my favorite part.
Well done, except for moonbeam shaft, really?

[TheRaven]

Shaft of an arrow. Get your mind out of the gutter, Bacchus!

[Bacchus]

Hey... I didn't write it.
And I'm not obsessed with forbidden love stories!
No, really though- I liked this one.
Your Forbidden Forrest one is a bit racy.

[Bacchus]

Ok- I added a forbidden love story- it's called "Sorry"
wa, wa...

[Bacchus]

I actually like shaft better... you were right from the start I think.

[TheRaven]

You might be right. I'm thinking 'bolt' might work too. I don't know!