The Sea

These waves that shift

The flowing into the wind

Birds call

Yelling at us

Throwing their cautions in our faces

What is wrong

We cannot comprehend

The waves crash harder onto the pebbled sand

The wind kicks up blowing our hair in every direction

Our feet sink further into the sand with every step

The Ocean goes on forever

And everything but us and the sea disappears

Gone forever perhaps

How are we to know

The birds have gone away

Their cawing of caution slowly fades away

The crashing waves is all we hear

 

Pull me close

Hold each other tightly

As the waves grow bigger

Bigger

Bigger

Consuming us

Together swirling in the intensity of the current

Together leaving this world

The last kiss under the water

Hands never losing grip

For once this is all over

They will find our soul-less bodies

Still holding each other tight

For all eternity together

In life and in death

Together

Forever

Just our voices being heard in each others heads

An eternal bliss

Never ending

Reviews

[Jazique]

grammar a little shaky but, spelling and punctuation's are an "A+". As for your writing it was excellente with breath taking descriptions all around filled with creativity painting a beautiful picture of the true blue sea. You did a lovely job so keep it up.

[wolf68]

nice child this is not like you normal work but i still like it.

[Art Sun]

this is very good...I like how you have incorporated Nature, life, death, love, intimacy, and the all eternal...very creative and nice work...

[Amund Schofield]

"Throwing their cations in our faces" Is cations supposed to be cautions?

I love the melodramatic nature of the poem. The romance mixed with the slight depression is amazing. I love the fact how they become "one". Its a very beautiful read.

I also must say you constantly surprise me. Usually poetry confuses me, but your work is so approachable while still retaining its elegance, that even I can understand it.

[Letemdangle]

Wow! I got some great imagery from this one. I could see some entangled bones floating beneath the sea and how they would recite your lovely poem.

[Dahlia Phoenix]

That was beautifully put. The sea is a wonder of nature that can bring many emotions in one's heart especially the most common one being romance. Its such a deep poem. Good job!

[George Korolog]

An intense and very difficult subject to writer about. From a visual point of view, I would get rid of all of the capitalizations on the first word of each line. Your story loses some power when the eye automatically looks for a new sentence, unless you really want to use sentences, which I don't think that you do. The author's voice here is what drives the poem, and I'm wondering "why," what is she thinking other than describing the actual process of dying together? What drove them to this? Her voice is the emotional context of the actions in the poem and if we cannot find her heart, then we are just left with explanation of their final actions, if that helps. You clearly have words to share about the action itself, but if you could somehow give us something to love or to feel about them, it would even be more powerful.

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

Beautiful...when I read the ending, I felt like I could hear sad echoes in the background...kind of like "Titanic," I guess. There were a few spelling errors/typos you might want to fix, also. "Hader," "dissappears," "swriling," "eachother," "souless."