Wind and sea

A poem I wrote in my 7th year at school. Recent events reminded me of it, so I dicided to show it to you guys. Had to create a poem about another culture, so I created a typical Gaelic tragedy.

Her lips closed tight,

Her pale skin white,

For cold t’was at dark.

 

A November breeze,

Rolled off the seas,

Where moonlight made its mark.

 

Of shocking blue,

Her  eyes in hue,

An angel of purest light.

 

But with her gown atear,

And her mournful stare,

She resembled a wraith of night.

 

Away from sores,

She crossed the moors,

From company she did part.

 

Towards the waves,

She crossed the moors,

From suffering she did part.

 

Towards waves and caves,

Upon hellish paves,

A dagger through her heart.

 

The heather snared,

As the ditches wared,

In her throat there sat a lump.

 

For path and bend,

Must surely end,

And soon the girl would jump.

 

Her toes felt air ,

And she paused to stare,

For a boat was on the sea.

 

“It must be he!

Come home for me.”

‘Fore she slipped upon the scree.

 

 

 

Her limp  body lay,

Cold. Lifeless, upon the bay.

Cast down from Devils Rock.

 

The villagers cried,

Shook and sighed,

As her lover began to dock.

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Bare in mind that I was young, so I used a fair bit of poetic licence in my language (e.g. "atear"...) I would really like to know what you thought of it and what you read into it because I'm thinking of rewriting it.

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

For a year seven this is well constructed and tells the tale in keeping with the culture you chose.