Anything and Everything

What happens when a guy sees a beautiful woman in the subway.

There are ghosts on the subway, there really are. It's not something we like to think about but they are there. How can they not be there? With all of us millions riding it every day, an accident has got to happen, and there isn’t an accident without a human involved. It’s all the same though, just numbers.

       I'm standing in the ever long line waiting for the "L" to arrive. It always takes forever. Went in at least 100 times and yet I never manage to get there without just missing it. I'm just standing there waiting for it, when I look over and notice that a woman that's just standing way to close to the tracks. She seems to notice it, almost like it’s intentional. I start to make my way over to her when she actually jumps down on the tracks, hits the live track and gets electrocuted. Everyone around looks and screams, like it’s some kind of accident. I know better. She wanted to do it, for whatever reason, she wanted to. And yet I see her back on the waiting station, like it never happened, and she's looking at me.

       "Hi, I'm Ashley. Are you enjoying that picture of what you think should be happening right now? I bet you’re hoping it’s kind of like reading a book and looking down on what happens. Heh, not happening. This is all real."

       I look at Ashely, she’s absolutely gorgeous, and could fall in love with her in a heartbeat.

       "Uhh, you just died. I watched you die"

       "And yet I'm here talking to you." she replies.

       "I don't get it, but you’re still beautiful. Your dead and I still see you. If I died, would I be able to be with you?"

       "Yeah, you could be right here with me. We could be here with each other for eternity."

       I wait for the next train to come. It’s taking longer than I have the patience for. Finally I can hear one coming down the tracks. It's coming. It's coming through the station, almost in front of me. I got less than a second to make up my mind.

       I decide.

       I jump.

       The train rides over my body. It's all over; I'm totally dead, at least in that world. I'm now here with Ashley.

       "I'm here with you now."

       "As I can see. I'm happy, and I won’t have to be alone. Promise to love me always?"

       "Always, forever and ever."

       "So what happens from here?"

       "Anything and Everything."

 

 

 

Author's Note

Everyone's asking who the characters are. I don't know myself. Its just something I wrote from living in Chicago and reading about all the people falling onto the L tracks and dying. I don't know if I'll be able to turn it into a longer story, but I'll try. I'm just afraid it'll lose the affect it had on me when I wrote it if I try and turn it into something more than it already is. I'm afraid I'll weaken it instead of improve upon it.

Reviews

[Joanna Maharis]

This story flows nicely, but for me it ended too quickly. I look forward to reading more about these two characters and their adventures. I like what you have thus far, but I'd like to see more details, such as where the characters are from? What lead them up to this point?

Take Care,

Joanna Maharis

[Sound]

It's oftly unreal for my liking, actually. Like a few others have said, the characters have no depth. They have paper thin personalities that do nothing for me and don't let me care about them enough. All I can do was read about them dying only to say: "Hmph...ok next story..."

To me there's no reason for the guy to even think about killing himself, apart from the late subway. I think you don't necessarily need to tell the reader why exactly he wishes to off himself, again apart from the late subway and dead girl, but you should at least try to set the mood beforehand so that it can at least seem believable.

[thecoolone52]

thanks for entering my contest............. nice story

[Michael X]

the issue with this is the lack of detail, the clarity and grammar isn't bad, but the depth isn't there,
if you could toss in some dynamic clauses and spruce up the wording to be more alive in describing the place and events, this would be phenomonal and gripping, as it is now, kinda bland, but over all worth reading, thanks for sharing your talent.

[nostal]

I liked it. Really. Oh yeah and this might be random but while im reading stories right now im listening to Kings of Leon.

[Rebecca Rogers]

A couple of typos and punctuation errors, but other than that, I agree with Joanna. I feel that I know nothing about these two people. This might work well as a prologue, though.

[Christine T]

Interesting.