Melancholia./ Side Note.

Take it as you want.

     

I can't seem to find myself.

It's hard to wake up in the mornings.

 I just want to sleep all day. 

I've run out of cigarettes and I'm broke. 

There's nothing to eat and nothing to do.

I've lost interest  in the things I used to love.

I don't feel my legs anymore.

I feel paralyzed in my mind.

I can't seem to breath. 

My eyes feel heavy and I want to sleep.

I don't have any medication so I can't numb the pain.

I feel so dull, so expressionless. So blank.

I can't draw right now.

I've lost all motivation.

I don't think I'm good enough.

To be honest, I think i'm a waste of space.

I'm all alone.

I don't have any friends.

It was fun in the beginning.

But now it's just stupid.

I don't know why I even try anymore.

I don't know why, But I find no meaning in life.

Everything is so pointless.

All I have is my family.

And yet I still feel so far away.

 An outcast.

A black sheep in disguise.

 I don't understand.

Why am I even here?

I feel so lost.

I can't find my way.

Everything is the same to me. 

So bleak.

I don't know why I'm still like this.

I want to live again.

But I forgot how too.

I want to be trully happy and not just for that moment when I'm surrounded by my family and we're all laughing even though I know that deep down inside of me.

I'm still so sad.

     

Author's Note

Sorry if there's any grammer errors. Drop some comments and rates please and thank you.

Reviews

[Emily]

This is one of one of my favorite poems now! Well done.

[Tatiana Casali]

Aw, Thank you. I'm flattered.

[RAOrourke]

I thought this was a wonderful poem, where the reader can feel the deep emotions coming through. It brings about sadness and hope that the character in the poem, will somehow find that hope and come out of feeling that dark dispair. Well done

[Tatiana Casali]

Thank you very much.

[idiotproof--1]

This is really really good. you can actually feel the emotions very strongly. you did a great job portraying the feelings of the person. I also loved the first line it really caught my attention.

[Tatiana Casali]

Thanks I apreciate it.

[LawrenceRaybon]

The title is very apt, but you marked this as a story and I think it should be in the poem category. This is set up like a free verse poem. The language is very simple and raw, which leads to the piece feeling very honest. This honesty drags the reader and makes them plumb the depths of depression along with the narrator.

While the piece is very strong it also feels a bit too long. You may want to go through a figure out which points are the most important and which are the least important and see if you can cut some of the least important parts. The only grammar thing I saw was on the next to last line, "were all laughing..." should be "we're all laughing..."

All in all good job!

***Standard Disclaimer: These are my honest opinions and they are absolutely not meant as any kind of attack. I only comment on work that I think is good and only offer advice so that we can all become better writers. You are always free/welcome to heed or disregard my opinions/advice!***

[Tatiana Casali]

Thank you I really apreciate your constructive criticism. :)

[LawrenceRaybon]

Very nice, I looked at the cuts you made and they work well. You kept all of the honesty and rawness but streamlined the piece so it's easier to read. Cutting out the facebook/instagram reference and then having "It was fun in the beginning" right after "I don't have any friends," is so powerful and so depressing all at the same time (It surprised me and is probably my favorite part). Good job!

[Tatiana Casali]

Haha, Thank you.