Life Passes By So Fast

What do you do when you're in love with you're best friend?

Life passes by so fast, but you can't close your eyes. No matter how bad it hurts.
This is my motto. My motivator. I have to live by it. But lately I have not been doing so.

"Dork" I said, laughing as I hit my best guy friend, Mark, over the head with my writing spiral. We were in lunch and, for the first time in a long time, he was averting his attention to me. I smiled and she smiled back. My heart warmed and then shattered just like that in merely a second. I thought of Mark as more than a friend. He didn't. I couldn't tell him I liked him…I couldn't. I wanted to close my eyes.
The lunch bell rang.
I stood up and he stood with me. We left the cafeteria and started to walk to our next class. "Hey, Mark?" I asked, he looked at me, awaiting the question. "You need to listen more and be less inappropriate. Like you were last year." With that, I scurried off to my class, not looking back. If I did, I would see the face of the boy who would never know I lo-, no, liked. Love was a word you used with family and people you consider sisters, not people you have a mere crush on. I sighed and walked into my class where we spoke about bullying and how we could prevent it. But I couldn't think about that. All I thought about the whole time was Mark. He was in my head. His smile, his laugh…he was almost exactly like me but he no longer liked me…I friend told me he liked me last year. She had asked for me, and no I knew he knew without him knowing I knew…it was confusing and I had never acted like this for a boy before.
As I sat there, thinking about my own doomed fate, my friend, Cara, walked up to me and kneeled to where my seat was. "Hey, Lana, are you okay? What's wrong?"
Without a word, I stood up, growing taller than her and forcing her to stand up, grabbing her wrist and walking over to the stove top (our class took place in a home economics classroom). "It's Mark." I told her. "I like him… a lot. But he doesn't feel the same way back. Cara looked at me, a faint smile of reassurance on her face. "You can't be sure of that, Lana."
I shook my said sadly. "But I am." I told her with a sigh, looking at my fingers which were twining themselves out of nervousness. "I even asked Laney if her boyfriend, whose close friends with him would ask…I never got the reply of whether or not Mark liked me back…just that he knew I liked him." I hung my head. I was too scared to tell him I loved him.
Cara and I sat there, talking for the whole period considering there was nothing super important to do. After a while of her trying to cheer me up, and me pretending it worked (for her sake), the bell rang. On to advisory. The twenty-five minutes we have to go somewhere and talk without school being a pain in our a*s. But that didn't matter. I left the room and started down to the library, where I belong, when everyone spilled into the halls. I needed to think and the noise of students being idiots was too distracting. I closed my eyes for merely a minute, yet when I opened them again, I was horribly ashamed. I had closed my eyes. I had promised myself not to, even if it hurt…but I had.
I moved onto the library at the end of the hall, my feet lugging behind me like cinder blocks. Eventually, I got there right before the bell rang. The librarian greeted me happily, but instead of pointing to my book and saying it was great, I nodded slowly and sat at a table by myself. I didn't want distractions. I motioned anyone trying to sit down to another table and read my book in silence. For once that day, Mark was in the back of my head.
Until now.
"Hey!" I heard a happy yet hushed voice as a chair squeaked and he plopped in.
I looked up and smiled. It was genuine but everything I felt for him came rushing back... "Hey" I told him, closing my book and putting it away. I remembered last year, the way I say hear and gave him a demo CD of Green Day. Now it was the present, no one around to distract him. He was speaking to me! Despite this, I fiddled with my fingers.
"About what you said…" Mark said, fiddling with his own fingers.
Crap.
I looked up, stopped fiddling and looked serious. "I meant it." I said. I needed him to know I missed the old him.
"You're right. I have been acting weird and I'm sorry. It's just everyone at our table brings it out…I'm myself when It's just you and me."
I couldn't help smiling at this, and brushing the curly hair from my eyes. "I understand…It's fine." I said. I kneeled over and rummaged through my binder for a piece of paper. I grabbed it and drew a small awesome smiley and passed the paper to him. He laughed and wrote another one.
We continued this for the whole twenty five minutes. Then the bell rang. For the first time, I was mad to leave Mark. I got up and headed out of the library to my favorite class. I waved good bye to Mark and smiled as I remembered the fun we had merely a minute ago. Once again, as I headed to the class, the hall was filled with people. I didn't close my eyes. I merely smiled and entered in my class, sitting down, never stopping the smile and never ever closing my eyes.

Author's Note

I like this story...I wrote it based off events that happened to me a couple months ago.

Reviews

[Katie L]

i like it

[Dupree]

Falling for he best friend sucks. Getting over it is nearly impossible because you see them everyday. Why is it most girls fall for their best friend but the best friend seems to only want the "hot" girl. It's even worse when the guy tells you later that he liked you and your stuck in a personal hell

[Collette Paige]

thanks guys

[Collette Paige]

Thank you guys so much ^_^

[Viki Rachel]

The descriptions are so good, I can picture you doing all of this.
I seriously love it.

[Madeleine Grace]

aww.
i really like this one, it's sweet.
is is true? :)