Paint a picture for me

 

Paint a picture for me

 

In your mind

 

Right now...

 

 

 

See me on the slide at a small park

 

Looking at my phone

 

See me with a single tear down my cheek

 

Reading your words

 

Telling myself you'll be there soon

 

 

 

Picture the clouds rolling in

 

The wind starting to howl

 

My face scrunching up with cold

 

The drops begining to fall

 

The sky crying with me

 

The unimaginable chill

 

Picture my loneliness

 

Picture my sorrow

 

 

 

Now see the feet start to walk

 

See the girl going home

 

Watch her disappear into the rain

 

Watch her cry for you

 

See her weeping those tears

 

Look at that broken heart

 

Listen to her calls be unanswered

 

Listen to her sobs

 

 

 

Now see if she'll answer you

As you call for her

 

See if she'll give a damn

 

Watch her keep walking

 

Listen to yourself cry

 

Now see if she'll come running back

 

When your tears of sorrow fly

 

See if she'll want to help you

 

When she was left alone

 

Watch her not give a care

 

And listen to her cry

 

 

 

Watch your life grow dark

 

Listen to your own voice fade

 

Feel her presence leave you

 

See how she's not there

 

Look how she's not waiting at home for you

 

Watch how she's left you

 

Now see if you can get her back

But I doubt it...

Reviews

[N. N. Grainger]

I like this, interesting technique and style, almost getting the reader to do the writers job, bit long though for what you are trying to say, just my opinion of coure but i would have got rid of the last two verses, a poem can have that kind of mystery and ambiguity, sometimes its what makes a poem if it leaves you guess. the last two just seem slighly unecessary and the attention starts to drop around that point.

best of luck, good write
xxx