MYNA

I went to MYNA camp recently, and these are my thoughts on it. ;)

It's incredible

It's unsizable

Just only 7 days

100 different ways.

I knew no one

No brother, sister, daughter, son.

I slept with strangers,

home some favored.

It's amazing 

The huge changing 

experienced here

The result is clear.

First day of the week

They all seemed to seek

Their parents hours away,

Missing home all day.

Last day,

If I may,

We were practically,

Close as family.

It's incredible

It's unsizable

Because this is MYNA

The best of my dunya.

Author's Note

I wrote this little piece while I was at the camp when I had some free-time to make something for the last night of the camp, otherwise known as the infamous "Entertainment Night". Basically it's where people get to show off their talents. I wrote this poem as a kind of tribute to that awesome camp. The frail loose leaf paper I wrote it on has my blood on it by the way. This makes me think it's some sort of blood pact-seal thing now. XD It was unintentional though. O.o While I was trying to fix the poem up, I swiped my very sharp pencil down. The lead point scraped the skin of my middle finger. I looked at my finger, and I only saw a little cut and a little blood.
But when I looked at my paper, I saw little flecks of red. XD
For those who don't know Arabic, the word dunya means "life". The Arabic word just rhymed. X3
MYNA is the abbreviation for Muslim Youth of North America.
It's totally awesome. :D

Reviews

[Starcaller]

Sounds like fun and your poem reflects that I think XD

[Wessik]

Hello, Dragon X. The poem was about your time at myna camp. I have never been to myna camp, and I am debating whether to be honest with you. The truth is, words like "incredible" and "unsizable", I'm sure have a great deal of meaning for you. Personally, I would like to know just how "incredible" or "unsizible" actually looks. You see, it's very easy to express one's emotions using words like "incredible", but often reader's don't get much from such words. Or they fill in such parts with their own meanings, which is fine, except that the meaning you originally might have wanted to convey then becomes lost.

I think that there are two potential poems, here. The first might be about someone not knowing anyone at camp, which is a very vivid and recognizable experience. The second is about how camp changes a person. I don't believe there is anything wrong with simply stating that camp changes one, as you do, or that you didn't know anyone, as you do. I wonder, however, about the imagery that could be associated with this.

For example: A line like "I knew noone" can easily be turned to something like:

"Faces all like eggs" (Any number of descriptions could have worked here, but I chose this one to point out the imagery. A face is a highly distinguishable object, while an egg is simply the same as any ordinary egg in an egg carton. A dozen twins. Oh, that's good."

"Faces all like eggs/ a dozen twins / to get to know"

etc. Note, however, that this is just my take on the poem, and my suggestions. Don't worry about me. Just try to keep your writing progressing. Is all. :D

[Poeticpiers]

interesting how much can change in so short a time

[Miss Evans]

I liked this poem. The meter was a little wonky for me, but it still flowed in an oddball sort of way.

The word choice was nice, the phrasing of "I slept with strangers" was a little misleading at first though.

All in all, a nice light-read poem.

Good job!

[Jasmine Thousand]

Cute little poem!!! :) Hope you had fun!!!
Yeah, that blood-pact thing is really funny. LOL


*100
**I ALWAYS give 100s

[Ice Girl]

That was really amazing! Good job!

[A. L. Allen]

Yay!!!! A new poem that I can review! :)

This is really sweet and cute. It sounds like you had a lot of fun. :) I really like the rhyme scheme, and your meter is very consistent. Nice job! I bet the other campers really liked this.

Lol, I think the blood pact things is kind of funny. ;)

Once again, great job!

[The XYZ Writer]

Wow!! That sounds like it must have been really fun. I wish I could have gone to camp. It really flowed together. A sweet poem. :) Loved it!
*100*

[Ami N.]

AMAZING :)
Sounds soo fun! I've never been to a camp before, but it seems awesome. I love how you rhymed it, by the way :)
'Dunya' is the name for 'world' in Urdu (the language I speak), so it makes sense in two languages :D Anyways, this is awesome!
*seconds Summer*
*100*

[Summer D.]

LOVE IT! Absolutely love it. It had just a simply lovely flow to it and it could be a bit like a ditty. DUNYA! Haha. My name... basically.. essentially.. means life. Lol, that could be a nickname. Anyway, I loved this poem.

* 100 *

Just because it's about MYNA. ( Which, one day, I will go to WITH you )