Lost, Are We?

It's bad to ask for help when you're in bad places. Especially when you're in bad places.

Ah, who might you be?

Lost, aimless as me?

 

Oh, dreadful thing;

Tired, worn, meandering,

As blind as a bat,

Darting like a rat.

 

Wouldn't you love to escape this darkness?

This chasm, this trench, this endlessness?

I offer a way,

An escape, I say.

 

But you see, I get ever so lonely,

Few wander this way.

Wouldn’t you mind staying,

Just for a day…?

 

 Or maybe two, or three, or four,

I think you’ll stay for many more… 

Author's Note

A poem I wrote about a year ago. Friends told me they liked it, so I want to know what the internet has to say :D

Reviews

[Brandon S. Whitten]

How enticing. Excellent write and read.

[Sophie]

The internet says their mind is blown!

This was amazing, I could just picture everything in my head. Bravo!

[Archia]

I really enjoyed the rhyme in this, but it gave it a slightly lighter aspect I found (I don't know if this was what you wre aiming for. If you was, then very good job). When I was reading this I had this whole scene in my head, and I really liked how that happened.

[Summer'sBreeze]

Internet says this ought to be published!

[Jasmine Thousand]

THE INTERNET THINKS THIS POEM IS AMAZING
It's kind of mysterious, little curious poem. I loved it :)
~Jasmine Thousand~

*100

[Miss Evans]

I could've put money on the fact that I'd reviewed this, but I would've lost every cent, it seems.

It sounds like the reader is being enticed into impending doom. For some reason reading this brings up the scene from Percy Jackson (the movie) where they entered the casino area of the Lotus. Or you know, like an evil person luring in an innocent child.

I don't have any criticism for this, it is very well written, and the tone is consistent.

Bravo.

[Brianna W.]

Well, I really enjoyed it, it is written so brilliantly! it just flows so perfectly and I really enjoyed it!

[Wren]

A really nice piece, with all the correct elements of a great poem with a lovely flow. Great job!

[Maddie:]]

Loved it, and I found some humor in it as well. Nice rhythmic flow to it, very beautiful:] keep it up

[paparapapa]

"What the internet has to say" =))

Well, this was really great and somewhat funny (well, maybe I just remembered something funny). :)) Still, the rhymes were good and it flowed smoothly. And despite the varying lengths of the lines, the poem wasn't awkward when I read it. Great job. :)