I really enjoyed the rhyme in this, but it gave it a slightly lighter aspect I found (I don't know if this was what you wre aiming for. If you was, then very good job). When I was reading this I had this whole scene in my head, and I really liked how that happened.
I could've put money on the fact that I'd reviewed this, but I would've lost every cent, it seems.
It sounds like the reader is being enticed into impending doom. For some reason reading this brings up the scene from Percy Jackson (the movie) where they entered the casino area of the Lotus. Or you know, like an evil person luring in an innocent child.
I don't have any criticism for this, it is very well written, and the tone is consistent.
Well, this was really great and somewhat funny (well, maybe I just remembered something funny). :)) Still, the rhymes were good and it flowed smoothly. And despite the varying lengths of the lines, the poem wasn't awkward when I read it. Great job. :)
hi I'm basically a ghost here now
I show up once in a blue moon
I'm all over this nifty lil place called wattpad now, but my writing still sucks so don't go there
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