Mark of the Cursed

Mark of the Cursed

A Book by ~Dragon X
"

A young boy wakes up, cold and alone in a cell. the first piece of writing I've ever posted in writers cafe. :)

"

© 2012 ~Dragon X


Author's Note

~Dragon X
My first piece of written work posted on this website! :) Be yourself when rating this, I enjoy all.

My Review

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Featured Review

Ok. I love to edit...and I found some errors in your story.
First Paragraph: you said "He swipes a cold hand there and draws back." This is changing the tense. Also, "it was quite the red." I think you meant "It was quite red." 'evily' only has one 'l' not 2. You don't need a comma after 'guards.' no semicolon after 'bars' maybe a dash. 2nd Paragraph: Delete the quotatioon mark after 'Hey!' 6th paragraph: Put a quote after 'Hey! Wait!' Other than those edits, the story is really good!

Posted 13 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is very good. I love the whole "dark mark" thing. I agree with rachi, you could TOTALLY turn this into an amazing book. :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


you should turn it into a book it is amazing

Posted 12 Years Ago


I really really like it! Will it be continnued sometime? Because I really think you could make a WHOLE BOOK out of this! But one note-the name sounds too much like Eclipse (Twilight) to me. Maybe you should call it something like... "Mark of the Cursed" or "Black Abyss" I don't know!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dragon,

Your story was very great and I just adore the twist that you put in the end. I personally think twists like that really keeps the reader's attention. Your first paragraph sets up the story very well. In my opinion it may need to be shortened just a bit. Usually when I find long descriptive paragraphs in my writings I find ways to say the same thing in fewer words. Overall, I loved it! The imagery is great and the story itself is very suspenseful.

Nice job!

Posted 13 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Ok. I love to edit...and I found some errors in your story.
First Paragraph: you said "He swipes a cold hand there and draws back." This is changing the tense. Also, "it was quite the red." I think you meant "It was quite red." 'evily' only has one 'l' not 2. You don't need a comma after 'guards.' no semicolon after 'bars' maybe a dash. 2nd Paragraph: Delete the quotatioon mark after 'Hey!' 6th paragraph: Put a quote after 'Hey! Wait!' Other than those edits, the story is really good!

Posted 13 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.


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250 Views
5 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on October 20, 2011
Last Updated on March 16, 2012
Tags: cell, fantasy, fiction, suspense, gray

Author

~Dragon X
~Dragon X

Riding Dragons, OH



About
hi I'm basically a ghost here now I show up once in a blue moon I'm all over this nifty lil place called wattpad now, but my writing still sucks so don't go there body, a, a:hover { cursor:url.. more..

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