Chapter One

Morgan College was a small institution, no bigger than three city blocks. It stretched along the Kansas-Missouri border and looked out over the Missouri River. Lush green life dotted the campus as thickets of trees were left untouched by the college's founders. The athletics department and recreation facilities were stationed on the western side of the campus, while the administration sat on the eastern end. Positioned right in the middle of the campus was Lovell Hall, a historic, all-girls dormitory and the location of Penelope's room assignment.

It was one of the oldest buildings on the estate and had a history for being "haunted", though most of the residents disregarded those rumors, seeing as most of the buildings on campus had the same reputation. In the front of the building there was a small thicket of trees that stretched on for about forty yards before the campus round-a-bout intersected it. To the back of the building was its twin Champion Memorial Hall, the boys' dorm. A small, covered, stone walkway connected the two buildings, though the walkway was usually closed at night for visitation hours, but during check-in for the campus, the breezeway was always open. The building itself was a bit of a jumble, with three wings on both the east and west sides, and not much direction was afforded by the room numbers.

This is why move-in day for Lovell Hall was pure chaos. Boxes, suitcases, decorations and loud voices filled the wide hallways of the dormitory. Guests and girls rushed from door to door attempting to find their rooms, making new friends and finding old ones. And right in the middle was Penelope. The RA that checked her into the dorm hadn’t been very clear about where her room was actually supposed to be, just in the general location of the fourth floor.

Okay, room 428 C, where are you? Penelope pondered as she dodged beaten up boxes abandoned in the middle of the elegantly adorned hallway. Marble arches trailed down each corridor and the white walls were flush with aged portraits of former collegiate officials, residents, and a large picture of the dorm's namesake, Henrietta Lovell. The black and white checkered floor stretched out before her, though the colors were discolored from decades of use, and looked more like shades of grey and cream. Penelope's eyes wandered around the hall as she stumbled over the belongings of her floor mates. It took her ten minutes to navigate her way to the end of the main hallway and she decided that the full splendor of Lovell Hall would have to be appreciated at a later time. Especially since she had made her way to the crossroads of the fourth floor's east wing and had no idea what her next step should be.

There were three paths she could take, but only one was the correct one that could lead her to her new home. The dumbwaiter, which the RA rented out to her to help her move, was too large to fit down any of the hallways, so she opted to leave it at the intersection, parked next a dozen others, and haul her belongings by hand. Penelope looked down each crowded passageway, trying to decide which one she should choose. The one to her left was so packed that she couldn’t even see the end of it over all the females teeming down it. The one that was straight ahead was just as impossible, and the lights were too dim to really make out any of the numbers on the doors. The one to her right was reasonably lit with a slightly smaller crowd. Penelope huffed a bit before finally deciding on the path to her right and pushed her way through the gaggle of girls, muttering apologies the entire way.

She passed an open door and heard vicious bickering coming from inside. Apparently someone took up residence on the wrong side of the room and the rightful resident wasn’t pleased. Dread crept up Penelope’s back as she remembered her roommate. It hadn’t dawned on her until that moment that she would be forced to live with a complete stranger. Her stomach churned with panic as she remembered all her past encounters with the people of her town and their constant judging. How she hadn’t had a real friend aside from her mother since her father vanished, and how they all looked at her as if she were a black stain that lived on the edge of town. The people she went to school with avoided her, mainly pretending that she wasn’t there because to be seen with her meant ridicule and social death. Penelope faded from the surface of the world and sunk into the pit of society for a reason that she didn’t even understand. Something that she could barely remember.

 Continuing down the row, Penelope muttered a small prayer to every god she could think of that her roommate wasn’t from her town. That they didn’t know her and would leave her alone. She prayed that they wouldn’t really acknowledge one another and could live in complete silence, understanding one another through a series of nods and grunts. It was a strange prayer, even Penelope admitted it, but it was the only way she could handle living with someone who she didn’t know and who didn’t know her past. She figured it was the safest way to exist in this new and potentially harsh environment.

Penelope gave herself a pep talk and even tricked herself into believing that her new roommate would be everything that she had asked for. A quiet girl like herself, with very modest taste, highly intelligent and just as anti-social she was.

Penelope finally reached room 428 C after dragging her boxes and suitcases for what felt like a three mile march through war time trenches. In the opening of her room door there sat a very large, hot pink, fuzzy chair and a matching floor lamp. The color drained from her face as her new roommate emerged from an over-stuffed closet right by the front door.

“Hi, my name is Mina, you must be Penelope!” The girl said. Penelope smiled feebly as she took in the sight of her roommate Mina. She was tall, thin, blonde and absolutely gorgeous. Her perfectly manicured nails matched her pedicured feet. Not a single hair was out of place on her perfectly tanned head. Her make-up was flawless and made her look like one of those cover girls. Her green eyes were naturally kind, her pouty lips were tinted a soft rose pink, and Penelope felt like she was going to be sick. God, why hast thou forsaken me?

“Uh, yeah,” Penelope said softly, looking down at the white and black checkered floor of the hallway. She was embarrassed by her own appearance. After a seven hour drive in an overstuffed car with no AC, Penelope wasn’t looking anywhere near as pleasant as Mina. Her own curly black hair was tousled from the humidity and the process of carrying all of her belongings into a dorm which also had no air conditioning. Her olive skin was slick with a thin layer of sweat, and her moderately dirty clothes accented her grungy fingernails and worn out sneakers. “It’s, um, nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Mina’s voice trailed off as she studied the girl before her.

The two stood in silence for a minute, sizing each other up. The weight of a small box carrying her school supplies dug into Penelope’s waist uncomfortably. Penelope shifted the boxes under her right arm awkwardly, her grip slipping with each passing second.

“Oh!” Mina said, tucking a piece of her beautiful golden hair behind her ear. She started dragging her things out of the way, “Let me move all this stuff out of the way. Would you like some help with your things?”

“No, no. Thanks, I got it,” Penelope said, struggling through the small doorway carrying much more than she should. Mina stood watching, discomfort visible on her face. She motioned to help Penelope but the sentiment came too late. The boxes in Penelope’s arms crashed to the floor spilling out cleaning and office supplies, a small collection of make-up, and a few keepsakes that Penelope wanted to take with her from home. Embarrassed, Penelope dropped to the floor, trying to scoop everything up. Mina stooped down to help her, reaching for a photo of what Mina assumed was Penelope’s mother and father.

“No! Don’t!” Penelope yelped, quickly snatching the photo out of Mina’s hands.

Mina jumped back a surprised look mildly contorted her beautiful face.

“I was only trying to help.”

“I don’t need your help, I’ve got everything under control,” Penelope mumbled, frantically shoveling everything back into her boxes and kicking them underneath her twin bed. Flustered and frustrated, Penelope stood, though her eyes remained glued to the floor. Embarrassment burned in her face.

“I’m…I…” Penelope stuttered, unable to tell Mina, a complete stranger, about the past she left behind in Ulysses. “…sorry.”

Mina opened her mouth to say something, but Penelope walked briskly from the room, leaving her speechless.

“I can’t believe I did that,” Penelope muttered to herself. She gawked at the hallway floor as she sped through the maze of people and belongings, swiftly avoiding the multitude of obstacles. She reached the elevator and waited for it to reach her floor. The old thing creaked and groaned as it hauled up load after load, and normally Penelope would have used the stairs, but the heat started wearing on her and her encounter with her roommate didn’t really set her up for clear thinking. So when the elevator came to a jittery stop on her floor, and all the occupants stumbled from it, Penelope didn’t think twice before barreling into the elevator and smashing the Ground Floor button a couple times.

The descent down was a slow one, but Penelope didn’t mind, considering the elevator was the only part of the building with any semblance of air conditioning. The little fan that swirled above her head created a welcome breeze, and Penelope leaned against the back wall, closing her eyes. She tried to fight off the feeling of humiliation and discomfort , so that when she got off the elevator she wouldn’t look nearly as frazzled as she did when she got on. As the elevator came to a shaking stop on the ground floor, Penelope opened her eyes, a new sense of calm coming over her. She took a step forward towards the elevator doors in anticipation of their opening.

But they didn’t. Penelope pushed the button with the door open symbol on it, but the elevator doors didn’t so much as tremble. Panic flooded her brain, washing out all chance she had at reacting reasonably. Her first irrational act was to start pounding on the door, full force. Muffled voices responded to her panicked beating on the door. She couldn’t understand what they were saying, but their voice reassured her that at least someone knew she was in the elevator. She continued pounding until her fists were sore and there was a reasonable dent on the inside of the door.

The voice got louder, but no clearer. This exchange went on for another minute before the voice , which had turned into a combination of four or five voices speaking in unison, became clear enough for her to understand.

“Read the sign,” she finally heard.

“What sign?!” She cried out before turning her attention four inches to the right where a handmade sign was taped to the elevator control panel.

If Elevator Doors Don’t Open

Press “Emergency Stop” Button 2x

~Thanks, Lovell Hall Maintenance Crew

Penelope’s eyes grew wide as she stared at the sign. The thought of staying on the elevator to avoid the looks of the people in the lobby actually crossed her mind and lingered. Her growling stomach and need to use the restroom put the idea to rest. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and slammed her open hand into the Stop button twice, and like a miracle the elevator doors slid open, and she was met with the sound of cheering. She knew it wasn’t in support of her getting out of the cramped space, but in recognition of her ineptitude. She opened her eyes and half the lobby was looking at her. A small gathering of strangers impatiently watched her leave the elevator and rushed by her mumbling and rolling their eyes.

This is hell. Penelope speed walked towards the door, her head careened downward in an attempt to hide her shame and avoid eye contact at the same time. By her calculations she’d almost reached the door. Three steps from freedom, Penelope slammed into something large and rather hard and fell to the ground.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry!” She blurted out before realizing that she hadn’t walked into person, but a support column instead, “Are you kidding me?!” Her face burned hot with embarrassment as she heard hushed whispers and suppressed laughter behind her. She rose quickly to her feet and burst through the front double doors of the building, heading out into the grove of trees on the North side of her building. I got to get out of here!

As Penelope disappeared into the tree line her eyes burned with tears.

“I can’t believe all of that just happened. I just can’t!”

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. Before she could pull it out to look at the new message, it buzzed again. When she flipped open her phone, the first message she saw was from her mother:

Hey! Did you make it safely? How was your first day on campus? Tell me everything!!

She wanted to tell her mother that going away to college was the worst mistake she could have ever made. She wanted to tell her that she’d been miserable since she got there. She couldn’t. It would have hurt her mother too much to know how terribly she was doing. Instead she replied:

Everything’s great. Made some new friends. Really awesome dorm!! : ) Love You.

 The second message was from an unknown number:

Hey, this is Mina, got your number from the RA, hope that’s cool… Are you okay?

Penelope fell against a nearby oak tree and slid to the ground, knot in her throat and tears streaming down her face. She wasn’t expecting it to be like this. She didn’t intend to react the way she did when Mina saw the picture. She didn’t even know why she brought the damn thing in the first place. And then the lobby scene was just too much for her to handle. And even though all of that was embarrassing and awful, had Mina just acted like it never happened, or ignored it, everything would have been fine. Penelope could have pretended that it didn’t happen too. They could have been silent acquaintances that simply lived together, and it would have been everything that Penelope wanted.

Instead, Mina actually cared, the worst thing she could have done. Because Mina cared, Penelope couldn’t pretend like her past wasn’t just like everyone else’s. She couldn’t act like nothing tragic had ever happened to her and that she was completely normal. And that was the one thing she wanted most in the world. And the one thing that she could never have.